[4279] in Central_America
New quotes for Wed May 27
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
Wed May 27 01:29:57 1992
Date: Wed, 27 May 92 01:29:13 -0400
From: root@charon.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
To: ca-mtg@bloom-beacon.mit.edu
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belville (Sharon Belville):
PACHYDERMIC PERSONNEL PREDICTION
Peter C. Olsen (BYTE, Sept. 1989)
A BOLD NEW PROPOSAL FOR MATCHING HIGH-TECHNOLOGY PEOPLE AND PROFESSIONS
(Part 1)
Over the years, the problem of finding the right person for the right job has
consumed thousands of worker-years of research and millions of dollars in
funding. This is particularly true for high-technology organizations where
talent is scarce and expensive. Recently, however, years of detailed study by
the finest minds in the field of psycho-industrial interpersonal optimization
have resulted in the development of a simple and fool-proof test to determine
the best match between personality and profession. Now, at last, people can
be infallibly assigned to the jobs for which they are truly best suited.
The procedure is simple: Each subject is sent to Africa to hunt elephants.
The subsequent elephant-hunting behavior is then categorized by comparison to
the classification rules outlined below. The subject should be assigned to
the general job classification that best matches the observed behavior.
CLASSIFICATION GUIDELINES
Mathematicians hunt elephants by going to Africa, throwing out everything that
is not an elephant, and catching one of whatever is left. Experienced
mathematicians will attempt to prove the existence of at least one unique
elephant before proceeding to step 1 as a subordinate exercise. Professors of
mathematics will prove the existence of at least one unique elephant and then
leave the detection and capture of an actual elephant as an exercise for their
graduate students.
(to be continued)
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cyrus (Cyrus Shaoul):
Hello, GORRY-O!! I'm a GENIUS from HARVARD!!
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gadi (Dinesh A Gopinath):
Thesis Title : Modeling Dynamic Discrete Choice Processes in the presence
of Information.
Key Words : Dynamic Stochastic Choice Set Generation Processes,
Information acquisition, processing & behavioral response,
Learning models, Psychometric analysis.
Thesis Supervisor: Prof. Moshe Ben-Akiva.
Research : Applied Mathematics(statistics), Operations research,
Interests Dynamic discrete choice modeling, Decision-making under
imperfect information, human behavior analysis &
psychometrics.
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jefft (Jeff Tang):
"I have some rather bad news--there's more film."
--- Joel, "Rocketship X-M"
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marka (Mark R Anderson):
I'm at home in London over the summer.
But, thanks to the miracles of modern technology, I'll be on Athena regularly.
Or try calling +44-71-730-8020, or +44-887-830235 or fax @ +44-71-730-4681.
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nato (Nathan Kalich):
To never log off
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panda (Chris Reed):
Strat-O-Matic MLB 1991 (72 games)
Div GIH Team W L PCT GB LAST 3 SERIES
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NlW - Atlanta 49 23 .681 --- 5-1 vLA, 2-1 vDet
NLW - Los Angeles 41 31 .569 8.0 4-2 Tor, 2-1 Det, 2-4 Bos
AlW - Texas 37 35 .514 12.0 0-3 Tor, 0-3 LA, 2-1 Det
NlW 3 Houston 32 37 .464 15.5 0-3 @Tor, 2-1 vTor, 1-5 LA
AlE 12 Toronto 25 35 .417 18.0 1-2 @Hou, 1-2 Det, 2-4 LA
AlE 3 Boston 29 40 .420 18.5 1-2 @Det, 4-2 Det, 2-1 LA
AlE 6 Detroit 27 39 .409 19.0 2-1 Bos, 2-4 @Bos, 2-1 Tor
LAST 3 UPDATES:
CDR 5/26 23:49 Det 2-1 Bos
CDR 5/20 03:00 Bos 1-1 Det (end of series)
CDR 5/13 13:45 Bos 3-1 Det (4 game series)
NOTES.....
Zode's magic numbers with the ALLeast teams:
(his wins + opp's losses to clinch him 4th place outright)
Toronto: 6 Left: 15 (big 3-game series)
Boston: 1 Left: 6
Detroit: 2 Left: 9
Game remaining:
Tor-Det (6), Bos-Tor (3), Hou-Tor (3).
AWAY (15-18) (12-21) (17-19) (6-9) (19-11) (15-6) (16-11)
HOME Det Hou Bos Tor LA Atl Tex
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(12-21)Det xxxxxxxx|6-4 5-4|9-2 4-5|3-5 |9-4 4-1|3-4 5-2|10-2 5-4
xxxxxxxx|4-6 6-5|4-5 11-2|2-11 |11-5 3-5|5-4 10-8|11-6 7-8
xxxxxxxx|2-3 12-5|8-4 7-5|4-1 |3-2 10-7|6-0 7-8|7-9 11-4
--------------------------------------------------------------------
(20-16)Hou 2-3 3-6|xxxxxxxx|3-4 5-9|0-3 2-1|3-4 14-1|3-8 7-2|2-3 8-3
3-4 2-1|xxxxxxxx|3-4 2-3|4-7 2-3|3-1 3-0|1-2 1-2|3-4 1-4
6-1 8-2|xxxxxxxx|4-5 5-4|3-0 1-2|4-2 3-11|6-3 7-6|6-3 6-5
--------------------------------------------------------------------
(13-20)Bos 2-3 4-7|2-3 0-15|xxxxxxxx|0-3 |0-2 1-5|16-4 8-6|11-6 5-3
3-6 6-2|6-8 9-2|xxxxxxxx|3-5 |15-1 6-5|14-5 6-3|9-1 16-2
6-3 6-7|9-2 1-8|xxxxxxxx|8-3 |3-2 2-3|7-4 5-3|3-0 7-2
--------------------------------------------------------------------
(9-9) Tor 3-1 |1-8 |2-3 3-2|xxxxxxxx|8-3 | |2-6
4-5 |4-7 |7-2 0-3|xxxxxxxx|5-3 | |7-3
4-3 |2-5 |2-9 8-5|xxxxxxxx|4-3 | |4-5
------------------------------------------------------------------
(16-17)LA 4-3 3-4|0-2 5-7|9-0 7-6|0-3 |xxxxxxxx|8-6 4-3|3-5 3-2
1-0 2-14|1-3 1-4|6-3 12-2|1-0 |xxxxxxxx|13-8 7-1|3-8 0-4
1-3 9-14|9-8 3-7|1-2 3-4|2-3 |xxxxxxxx|5-4 15-3|4-5 5-2
--------------------------------------------------------------------
(14-7) Atl 6-4 8-9|4-2 6-2|4-8 7-8| |0-11 1-8|xxxxxxxx|
6-5 2-11|0-3 1-9|5-3 1-6| |4-8 8-7|xxxxxxxx|
4-8 8-4|4-7 1-2|9-11 3-2| |1-3 1-15|xxxxxxxx|
--------------------------------------------------------------------
(12-9) Tex 6-4 16-6|1-6 8-3|4-3 8-9| |7-6 4-2| |xxxxxxxx
9-10 1-4|2-3 9-2|7-8 5-4| |4-5 7-6| |xxxxxxxx
6-7 10-5|9-3 4-7|5-7 7-6| |4-5 6-2| |xxxxxxxx
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Det Hou Bos Tor LA Atl Tex
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rei (Cynic):
To veg, and then try to avoid starving. Not easy with only a piddling
SB (BS) in Course 8.
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sipb7 (Guest7 Sipb):
Article 60596 (329 more) in soc.women:
From: bk@mips.com (Bob Knobwhittle)
Newsgroups: soc.singles,soc.men,soc.women
Subject: Time to clean up the masturbation issue
Date: 18 May 92 12:51:42 GMT
Organization: MIPS Computer Systems, Sunnyvale, California, USA
Lines: 94
Time to Clean Up the Masturbation Issue
Many people in our society are guilty of a form of bigotry that
consistently goes unchecked. Ironically, the prejudice I'm addressing
is as common among oppressed victims of our society as it is among the
customary oppressors (white males). Women in particular are often known
to harass and abuse this group of societal victims. The victims of whom
I'm speaking are masturbators.
Most masturbators can't help that they're the way they are. In fact,
there is growing evidence that some people are born masturbators (Rod
Gherkin, 1990). Russian scientists suspect that a special enzyme is
secreted from the hands of masturbators (Serge Jerkov, 1984).
Biologists have concluded that there is no evidence to support the
belief that the palms of masturbating males grow hairy (Jack Meoph,
1981) German researchers have proven the rate of blindness among
masturbators is not significantly greater than the non-masturbating
population (Otto Wankler, 1987). A UC Berkeley study has conclusively
proven that feminists, engineers, and educators have more masturbators
among their ranks than the population at large. This has caused some
analysts to espouse controversial theories that masturbators have
higher intelligence than average (Lance Stroker, 1988). It has also
been shown that males masturbate more than females, unless females are
deprived of food or lucrative job opportunities (Shirley Salt-Licher,
1992).
Biologists have shown that certain species of animals masturbate (Dick
Handler, 1985). Personally, I've witnessed my own dog wagging-off when
he can't find a horny bitch or a friendly leg to hump. (The rear leg
of a masturbating dog resembles a man repeatedly trying to kick-start a
motorcycle.)
Masturbators are productive members of society. Some well-known
masturbators include Andy Warhol, Pee Wee Herman, Michael Jackson,
Madonna, Jim Morrison, Malcom Forbes, Magic Johnson. There are rumors
that Jerry Brown masturbates. (Jerry Brown was a Jesuit priest; such
priests allegedly have perfected the art of masturbation as an act of
and self-discipline.)
The overwhelming evidence shows that masturbators are normal people --
people like you and me who go to school, work hard, fall in love, and
care about the future of our planet.
What should we do in light of this evidence?
1. I propose that we change our vocabulary to reflect the acceptance of
masturbators as normal societal members. The term "masturbator" has
acquired a derogatory meaning over the years, much as the words nigger,
Negro, Colored, Black, girl, lady, Indian, queer and so on. I propose
that we change the formal word for masturbators to "monosexuals" to
reflect their sexual preference.
2. As an alternative, less formal term, I suggest we refer to
monosexuals as being "cool". This is analogous to the way homosexuals
annexed the term "gay" and forever altered its usage in common speech.
3. When in the presence of someone who makes a bigoted anti-cool
comment, I suggest we politely criticize his or her comment and educate
him or her on the issue of monosexuality.
Example:
Suppose you're with a group of friends and an outspoken feminist calls
one of your friends a "jerk-off" while he's not present to defend
himself. Scold the feminist as follows:
Please refrain from shooting off bigoted, derogatory remarks about
monosexuals. It's his right to be "cool." He was born that way.
I realize that my suggestions might cause some discomfort in certain
social circles. Please remember, though, that equality is a paramount
issue in our crumbling, degenerating republic. Treating others as
equals is more important than your so-called "right" to have opinions.
If you disagree with my ideas, remember that your opinions are based on
your peculiar unsubstantiated life observations, NOT on the scientific
evidence provided by the progressive educators and administrators who
dictate the curriculum and societal agenda of our higher-learning
institutions. So be cool, uhh, I mean calm. It won't be hard to
re-orient your behavior to support our cool brothers and sisters.
Isn't it worth the effort to create a safe, just, and supportive
world?
Bob Knobwhittle
"He's got the whooooole world
in his hands.
He's got the whooooole world
in his hands.
He's got the whooooole world
in his hands.
He's got the whole world in his hands."
- American folk song, 1920s, origin unknown
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sramming (Scott '~ibo' Ramming):
. . . *
~ ~ . '
* \ | / "
~ . v . +
* (*) -__. .
. > / ^ \ `
, ' ~ , . \ ~ `
far-flung thoughts being gathered together to form an ethereal non-ibo.
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Date: Mon, 25 May 92 21:28:55 -0400
From: kibo@world.std.com (James 'Kibo' Parry)
Message-Id: <9205260128.AA03697@world.std.com>
To: sramming@Athena.MIT.EDU
Subject: ispell
sramming File: /usr/tmp/nn.a03472
0: cramming
1: ramming
2: scamming
3: scramming
4: shamming
5: slamming
6: s ramming
7: s-ramming
8: tramming
aaaaiiieee!!!! my ^D got changed to ^A AGAIN!!!
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starflt (Derrick Kong):
SUICIDE IS PAINLESS
In Champions, the average man can walk away from a three-story fall
and has a better-than-even chance of surviving a ten story plummet.
from Murphy's Rules
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tompalka (tom palka):
If you'd like to get in touch with me over the summer, here are some
pointers:
tom palka
3480 Golfview Drive, apt. 1206
Eagan, MN 55123
no home phone yet, but at office:
1-800-BUG-CRAY extension 5341
--- End of Central America ---