[4231] in Central_America
New quotes for Sat Apr 25
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
Sat Apr 25 01:24:06 1992
Date: Sat, 25 Apr 92 01:23:50 -0400
From: root@charon.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
To: ca-mtg@bloom-beacon.mit.edu
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
amberle (Amberle S Ferrian):
Tale as old as time Tale as old as time
True as it can be Tune as old as song
Barely even friends Bittersweet and strange
Then somebody bends Finding you can change
Unexpectedly Learning you were wrong
Just a little change Certain as the sun
Small to say the least Rising in the east
Both a little scared Tale as old as time
Neither one prepared Song as old as rhyme
Beauty and the Beast Beauty and the Beast
Ever just the same Tale as old as time
Ever a surprise Song as old as rhyme
Ever as before Beauty and the Beast
Ever just as sure
As the sun will rise
"Beauty and the Beast"
from Walt Disney's BEAUTY AND THE BEAST
music by Alan Menken
lyrics by Howard Ashman
1991 Academy Award winner, Best Original Song
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
cyrus (Cyrus Shaoul):
BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
jefft (Jeff Tang):
"Man of Steel, huh? Phone *this* in to Perry White!"
---Joel, "Jungle Goddess"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
pynadath (David V. Pynadath):
| S | M | TU | W | TH | F | S |
|Watch |Watch |Do Work |Watch |Watch |Upstairs|Watch |
|Basket |Northern| |Seinfeld|Simpsons|Place & |ST:TNG|
|ball |Exposure| |Quantum |LA Law |Movie |SNL |
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
sao (Andy Oakland):
GAAAH!
I'm trying to develop a new system according to the official Administrative
Systems Development guidelines. It claims that, before I do anything, I need
to draw a picture of my conceptual data model. What's that? Let's turn
to the glossary:
Conceptual data model:
Representation and definition of the entities -- objects, actors,
or events -- constituting the various aspects or facets of the
subject of an information system and concerning which the system
collects, stores or produces data; of the associations or
relationships occurring among these entities when the system
causes or responds to an event; and of the attributes of these
entities and relationships.
Hmm. There were a couple of terms I didn't recognize in there. Let's
look them up:
Aspect:
(not defined)
Attribute:
Data element used to describe an entity or relationship in
conceptual data modelling.
Entity:
Descriptive element of a facet representing a class of objects all
of which will be described by the same attributes in conceptual
data modelling.
Facet:
Descriptive element of a data subject, comprising the data
describing a particular aspect of the subject in conceptual data
modelling.
Object:
(not defined)
Relationship:
Descriptive element of the conceptual data model, representing
an association of two subjects, two facets or two or more entities.
Do you get the feeling that this entire development methodology is entirely
defined in terms of itself, and is perfectly isolated from the real world?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
starflt (Derrick Kong):
HMMM, IT'S NOT WORKING
In FGU's Space Opera, a character who has died can be injected with
"TKM," a drug that stops cell decomposition -- but the drug reaches the
whole body via circulation, a function that stops at the moment of
death.
from Murphy's Rules
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
therese (Therese):
We were friends who rode the waves
The time we spent in our younger days
Was all in fun,.. oh the good times that we had.
We were young and it was fine
To feel your spirit as it climbed
There're no regrets
Only good times
We were friends in younger days
Although we went our separate ways
You were my friend, you never turned away
Who can say what life will do
Life is kind to just a few
There're no regrets
Only good times
In time we will grow, we will change
As free as the wind and the waves
Live your life the way you choose
Find the ones who'll laugh with you
Like the sea
will find its way to shore
As the sun sinks from the sky,
Live your life and you will find
There're no regrets
Only good times ....
- Keola and Kapono Beamer
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
tlyu (Thomas L Yu):
----------------------------------------
WHAT PLAN?!?
No really. Double major XVI & VI-III.
It's not as suicidal as it looks...
By the way, how do you get on the roof of the Green Building...
Project:
Promotion of chaos. Eventual total dominion over the known universe.
Office:
MIT Experimental Studies Group
ESG Cluster Maintenance
Room 24-618
x3-7787
MIT Student Information Processing Board
Room w20-557
x3-7788
RUNE: the MIT journal of arts and letters
Room 50-309
x3-8557
Snail mail: Swamp mail (Houston---where else?):
Fenway House 2247 Woodland Springs
34 The Fenway Houston, TX 77077
Boston, MA 02215
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The proliferation of modern programming languages which seem to have stolen
countless features from each other sometimes makes it difficult to remember
which languages you're using. This guide is offered as a public service to
help programmers in such dilemmas.
C: You shoot yourself in the foot.
C++: You accidentally create a dozen instances of yourself and shoot them
all in the foot. Providing emergency medical care is impossible since
you can't tell which are bitwise copies and which are just pointing at
other and saying, "That's me over there."
Fortran:You shot yourself in each toe, iteratively, until you run out of toes,
then you read in the next foot and repeat. If you run out of bullets,
you continue anyway because you have no exception-processing ability.
Ada: If you are dumb enough to actually use this language, the United States
Department of Defense will kidnap you, stand you up in front of a
firing squad, and tell the soldiers, "SHOOT AT HIS FEET!!"
Modula/2:After realizing that you can't actually accomplish anything in the
language, you shoot yourself in the head.
Cobol: USEing a COLT45 HANDGUN, AIM gun at LEG.FOOT, THEN place
ARM.HAND.FINGER on HANDGUN.TRIGGER, and SQUEEZE. THEN return HANDGUN
to HOLSTER. CHECK whether shoelace needs to be retied.
Lisp: You shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which you
shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which you shoot
yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which you shoot
yourself in the appendage which holds.....
Assembly:You crash the OS and overwrite the root disk. The system
administrator arrives and shoots you in the foot. After a moment of
contemplation, the administrator shoots himself in the foot and then
hops around the room rapidly shooting everyone in sight.
SmallTalk:You spend so much time playing with the graphics and windowing system
that your boss shoots you in the foot, takes away your workstation,
and makes you develop in COBOL on a character terminal.
FORTH: Foot in yourself shoot.
APL: You shoot yourself in the foot, and then spend all day figuring out how
to do it in fewer characters.
Pascal: The compiler won't let you shoot yourself in the foot.
SNOBOL: If you succeed, shoot yourself in the left foot. If you fail, shoot
yourself in the left foot.
BASIC: Shoot self in foot with water pistol. On big systems, continue until
entire lower body is waterlogged.
sh, csh, etc: You can't remember the syntax for anyting, so you spend five
hours reading man pages before giving up. You then shoot the computer
and switch to C.
APT: You cut a perfect bullethold in your foot, and shoot through it.
[Note to the naiive: APT is the oldest computer language currently
in use -- Automatic Programming of Tools]
Concurrent Euclid: You shoot yourself in somebody else's foot.
Motif: You spend days wiring a UIL description of your foot, the trajectory,
the bullet, and the intricate scrollwork on the ivory handles of the
gun. When you finally get around to pulling the trigger, the gun jams.
APL, Version 2: @#&^$%&%^ foot
BCPL: You shoot yourself somewhere in the leg -- you can't get any finer
resolution than that.
VMS: %SYS-F-FTSHT, foot shot
(fifty lines of traceback omitted)
Unix: % ls
foot.c foot.h foot.o toe.c toe.o
% rm *.o
rm: .o: No such file or directory
% ls
JCL: You shoot yourself in the head just thinking about it.
MSDOS: You shoot yourself in the foot, but can unshoot yourself with add-on
software.
Picospan: You can't shoot yourself in the foot because you're not a host.
Paradox: Not only can you shoot yourself in the foot, your users can too.
Revelation: You'll be able to shoot yourself in the foot just as soon as you
figure out what all these bullets are for.
Oracle: The menus for coding foot_shooting
have not been implemented yet and you can't do foot shooting in SQL
Hypertalk: Put the first bullet of the gun into foot left of leg of you.
Answer the result.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--*> W E L C O M E T O T H E D R A G O N ' S L A I R <*--
--- End of Central America ---
