[4108] in Central_America
New quotes for Tue Feb 25
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
Tue Feb 25 01:30:54 1992
Date: Tue, 25 Feb 92 01:29:25 EST
From: root@charon.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
To: ca-mtg@bloom-beacon.mit.edu
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bauhaus (xxxxx xxxxx):
Krotus Says:
Kill Kill KillKill Kill Kill
Kill Kill Kill Kill Kill
Kill Kill Kill Kill Kill
Kill Kill Kill Kill Kill
KillKill Kill Kill Kill
Kill Kill Kill Kill Kill
Kill Kill Kill Kill Kill
Kill Kill Kill KillKillKill KillKillKill
Kill Kill KillKill KillKillKill KillKillKill
For the love of Killing.
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brucec (Bruce F Clark):
To find out who the_lion is type "finger D-marks@mit"
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cacrane (Christopher A Crane):
{From system: This user's .plan file is not world readable}
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cfields (Craig Fields):
The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:
> Oh great Oracle whose keyboard never has crumbs,
> Will the USA ever go metric?
And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
} Ladies and gentlemen, we are here today to determine the United States
} measurement challenge once and for all.
}
} In the blue corner we have our current US champion for many years,
} weighing in at 220.4623 pounds, our hero: Igor Imperial.
}
} In the red corner we have, weighing in at 100kg all the way from
} France, and currently storming the world wherever he goes, our
} challenger: Mean Mr Metric.
}
} It will be a great fight today and one that may change the course of
} history. Can Mean Mr Metric defeat Igor Imperial and change US life
} forever, or will Igor outwit the classy opponent and maintain his place
} in history.
}
} We are about to find out.
}
} Gentlemen, I want a clean fight. Shake hands and come out fighting on
} the bell.
}
} Round 1: "DONG"
}
} They both approach each other and meet in the middle of the ring.
} Metric has trained well and opens with the first punch:
}
} How many feet in a mile?
}
} Imperial answers after a moments hesitation with:
}
} 5280
}
} "Good exchange there Bob, hasn't worried either of them."
}
} "No Bill, it's still neck and neck, although Imperial took a fraction
} of a second to divert that question."
}
} Imperial decides to attack with a similar strategy:
}
} How many metres in a kilometre?
}
} Instantly, Metric flashes back with:
}
} 1000
}
} "Wasn't that a great counter by Metric eh Bob - so quick. He's looking
} good tonight"
}
} "Sure is Bill"
}
} Imperial goes on the attack again with a curly one:
}
} How much does a litre of water weigh?
}
} Metric comes back quickly with:
}
} 1 kilogram
}
} "Great offense from Imperial there Bob. Combining both measurement of
} mass and volume - well thought out."
}
} "Sure thing Bill, but I think he may have left himself a bit vulnerable
} here. If I can guess, Metric should follow up with..."
}
} How much does a pint of water weigh?
}
} Imperial reels back with such a tough one. He hesitates.
}
} "Thought he'd do that Bill, he's looking shaky. I wonder how he's
} trained for this?"
}
} Suddenly, Imperial's eyes light up and he comes back with:
}
} 1.0431758 pounds
}
} "Well Bob, our champ got out of that one but it was a bit messy eh?"
}
} "It was Bill. I think he was lucky there. Metric should come back with
} a tough one here if he's got it in him."
}
} As Metric prepares for an offense, the champ Imperial slips in a sneaky
} one:
}
} If 1mm of rain falls on 1 square metre of roof, how much water
} is collected?
}
} "What a shot Bob! That'll hurt him."
}
} Metric defends without a flinch:
}
} 1 litre
}
} "No Bill, Metric has trained too well and has got too much ability.
} That reply was instananeous. You know, I think he should follow the
} same strategy as before and follow up with..."
}
} If 1 point of rain falls on 1 square foot of roof, how much water is
} collected?
}
} "Imperial is down!"
}
} 1 2 3 4 5 6 7...
}
} 7.97922 fl oz
}
} "What an answer! Our boy's still got guts!"
}
} "DONG"
}
} End of Round 1.
}
} "Bill, that bell came just at the right time. This fight shouldn't last
} the next round."
}
} "You're right Bob, but that guy from France is just too good.
}
} Round 2: "DONG"
}
} Imperial comes out and slips in a gentle offense:
}
} How many grams in a kilogram?
}
} Metric defends:
}
} 1000
}
} "Playground stuff there Bob."
}
} "Yeah Bill"
}
} Metric goes for the kill:
}
} How many grains in an ounce?
}
} "Uh oh. I think this is it Bob."
}
} Imperial stutters:
}
} uuuhhhhmmmmmmm. Which system?
}
} "Oh Bill, he's answered with a question. That's not following the
} spirit of the game!"
}
} Metric replies:
}
} All three.
}
} "Curtains Bill. I'm sure."
}
} Imperial responds:
}
} Well in Avoirdupois its 437.5, in Apothecary its 480 and the other
} one is... What other one?
}
} Metric jabs:
}
} You tell me.
}
} Imperial falls to the floor.
}
} 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
}
} "Knocked out Bob!"
}
} "Yeah Bill. I guess we have to get used to the idea of a new system
} here in the US of A. This guy is a mean lean measuring machine."
}
} "Just let me interrupt you Bob, our man Leroy is down in the ring
} talking with Mean Mr Metric."
}
} "Mean Mr Metric that was an incredible last blow there. Tell me what is
} that other system"
}
} Tell you the truth, Leroy, I don't know nor care. I just know there
} are three and they are all stupid.
}
} "Interesting response there from Mean Mr Metric, Back to you Bill"
}
} "We've just got word that the judges are going to make an
} announcement..."
}
} After final discussion, the judges have decided to declare the fight
} null and void due to the fact that the win by Mean Mr Metric would mean
} that some politicians might lose the next election.
}
} You owe the Oracle a life in the dark ages.
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cyrus (Cyrus Shaoul):
I smell like a wet reducing clinic on Columbus Day!
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enigma (CDE):
If you haven't seen it before, READ IT AGAIN!
Subject: URGENT!!!
Read this and get pissed off. If any of you know of examples
of prior art, send them in. This is too bogus for words.
Kevin
.......................
[The FSF is posting this announcement on behalf of the League for
Programming Freedom. Please repost widely.]
Someone has patented a special case of multiplayer games implemented
using a network of user machines, plus a server.
The patent covers a distributed system that gives each user a machine
which can play several games at once (in separate windows, for example),
where the various players of each game interact through a network to
a server machine that keeps track of the game (like Xtrek, for example).
The patent holder is said to be aggressively suing all competitors to
shut them down. One of them is asking for help.
You would think that this is an obvious combination of two basic
techniques: multiple windows on a screen, and multiplayer games on a
network of machines. But judges and juries may think that combining
these two techniques takes real genius. No one would want to have
to depend on convincing a court that this is obvious.
It's possible that a pair of multiplayer X games would invalidate the
patent, but they need to have been disclosed to the public before Feb
5, 1986. That is the date of the original patent application, so
nothing counts as prior art unless it was published (and provably so)
before that date. (It is not necessary that the actual source code
for the program have been published. What needs to have been shown to
the public is the idea.)
But perhaps just any multiplayer games won't do the job. Part of the
"invention" is that among the supported games are certain casino games
from a particular list. Will a judge believe that implementing one
game in this way makes it obvious that you could implement another game?
There's no telling.
So if you know of any games on this list that were implemented in a
distributed fashion before Feb 5, 1986, that would be very helpful.
Bingo, keno, poker, blackjack, roulette, slots,
gin, and sports book.
Please mail your prior art to lpf-patent-4856787@prep.ai.mit.edu.
**Don't broadcast it on the net**.
The reason not to tell everyone is that if the patent holder finds out
about the prior art, he may be able to nullify it by asking for
reexamination of the patent. So send the prior art to the LPF, and
the LPF will give it to anyone who is seriously interested in fighting
the patent.
^L
Patent Number 4,856,787. Issued to Boris Itkis on Aug 15, 1989,
with the original application on Feb 5, 1986.
CONCURRENT GAME NETWORK
Abstract:
A distributed game network comprising a master game device and a number of
slave game devices. The slave game device is capable of playing
concurrently a number of menu selectable card and chance games, such as
poker, bingo, blackjack, and keno. The slave game device receives commands
and random data, such as bingo patterns and called bingo and keno numbers,
from the master game device and sends the local game status and accounting
information to the master game device. The slave game device is equipped
with a touch screen display and a smart game card interface. The smart
game card associated with the slave game device has an imbedded
microprocessor keeping track of wagers and outcomes of the game. The touch
screen display exhibits the status of the games being played in display
windows and accepts player's commands including menu selections and bingo
and keno card marks.
Claims:
1. Game network comprising at least one master game device interconnected
with at least one slave game device; said slave game device executing
concurrently at least two different distinct and independent games; each
of said different distinct and independent games comprising its own unique
rules of play and unique random factors; said different distinct and
independent games including bingo, keno, poker, blackjack, roulette, slots,
gin, and sports book; said master game device providing data for playing
said games; and at least one of said two different distinct and independent
games being at least partially responsive to said data from said master
game device.
2. The combination of claim 1, wherein said slave game device incorporates
a local data input and output means comprising
a display means displaying simultaneously the current status of each of
said two distinct and different independent games,
a sound and voice data entry means,
a sound and speech generating means,
a touch responsive data entry means,
a game card reading and writing means.
[This claim is noteworthy because it is nothing but a shopping list.
It is as if one could patent attaching floppy disks, hard disks, and a
CD rom drive to a computer.]
3. In combination, a smart game card and the combination of claim 2, wherein
said smart game card incorporates an imbedded data storage and data processing
means being accessible by and responsive to said game card reading and writing
means.
4. The combination of claim 1, wherein said slave game device incorporates a
software and hardware means for controlling the degree of difficulty of
playing at least one of said two different distinct and independent games.
5. The combination of claim 1, wherein said slave game device displays matches
between data being transmitted by said master game device and the contents of
at least one game card for playing at least one of said two different distinct
and independent games.
6. The combination of claim 1, wherein said slave game device transmits to
said master game device accounting data and the current status of at least one
of said two different distinct and independent games.
7. The combination of claim 1, wherein two or more of said slave game devices
participate in a common game.
^L
Here's a letter that the patent holder sent to one of the companies
that is being attacked:
January 10, 1992
International Gamco, Inc.
9355 North 48th Street
Omaha, Nebraska 68152-1541
Att: Mr. Mark Stevens, Dir. Sales/Marketing
Re: FORTUNET PATENTS
Dear Mr. Stevens:
Please be advised that I represent the inventor and owner of U.S. patents
4,455,025, 4,624,462, and 4,856,787. Copies of said patents are enclosed
for your review.
Based on information currently in my client's possession, it is my client's
position that your pull tab game, which appears very similar to our patented
network video pull tab game, may constitute an infringement of at least one
claim of each of the above referenced patents, literally and/or in view of
the Doctrine of Equivalents.
Please note that Fortunet has long had a patented, fully developed, and
marketable networking video pull tab game but has elected not to market such
a game (despite numerous customer requests for said product) due to the
questionable legal status of these types of games.
Please submit our patents and your pull tab game to your attorney for an
overview. My client suggests that they will confirm his belief that your
product (pull tab game) infringes his patents.
In order to further study your product in an effort to avoid any unnecessary
legal recourse, my client requests that you forward any available information
concerning said pull tab game, e.g. brochures, disclosures, etc., so he may
study same.
Be advised that we take the matter of patent infringement very seriously, and
have filed numerous lawsuits to protect our patents. Several parties,
including a major U.S. video pull tab vendor, have refrained from marketing
video pull tab networks following our advising them of the risks of legal
confrontation. We hope that you will follow their example in this matter.
Please contact me at your earliest convenience so that we may discuss how
to resolve this situation. My client's sincere desire is to reach an amicable
resolution to this matter without any unnecessary judicial
involvement. Pleaselet your better business sense be your guide.
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fallas:
Women Making Scenes--a night of scenes and monologues by women actors,
directors,
and playwrights
Thursday, Friday, and Saturday February 27, 28, & 29
8 pm
Kresge
Free
For more information, call 253-2877.
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kenneths (Kenneth J. Schneider):
Address at Theta Chi: Address at Home:
528 Beacon Street 4005 Birdwell
Boston, MA 02215 Tyler, TX 75703
(617) 267-1801 ext. 142 (903) 581-0216
Last logged on Mon Feb 24 16:59:58 EST 1992 on host m1-142-8 .MIT.EDU
Last logged on Mon Feb 24 17:05:20 EST 1992 on host m1-142-8 .MIT.EDU
Last logged on Mon Feb 24 17:08:15 EST 1992 on host m1-142-8 .MIT.EDU
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livewire (Live Wire):
GETTING THE HELL OUTTA DODGE!!! YIP!!! YIP!!
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lsc (Lecture Series Committee):
LSC Movies for the weekend of Feb 28 to Mar 1
Fri. Feb 28 Wages of Fear (1953) 10-250 7:30
Four men, desperate for money, take on the job of carting
nitro-glycerine into the jungle to extinguish a fire in an oil well.
A slow building suspense thriller, as one thing after another goes
wrong in this adaptation of a novel by Georges Arnaud. Starring Yves
Montand, in French with English subtitles. Original French title
{\it Le Salaire de Peur.}
Fri. Feb 28 Barton Fink 26-100 7 & 10
This Cannes Film Festival winner was written and directed by brothers
Joel and Ethan Coen ({\it Raising Arizona}, {\it Blood Simple}). A
successful New York playwrite ``for the people'' seeks a wider
audience in Hollywood, but won't listen to his neighbor, an insurance
salesman played by John Goodman and eventually finds himself the
suspect in a grizzly murder case. Presented in Dolby stereo.
Sat. Feb 29 Truth or Dare 26-100 7 & 10
This Madonna ``documentary'' was shot during the ``Blonde Ambition''
tour and includes much backstage footage. An incisively glamorous,
entertaining, ``backstage musical'' that is both a compulsively
watchable scrapbook and a dissection of contemporary fame. Presented
in Dolby stereo.
Sun. Mar 1 Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade 10-250 7 & 10
Globe-trotting archaeologist Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford) and his
father (Sean Connery) race against time and the Nazis in search of the
Holy Grail. Director Steven Spielberg brings you more cliffhanging
thrills, spectacular stunts, dazzling special effects and clever humor
than ever before. Presented in Dolby stereo.
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For more information, call the LSC MovieLine, 258-8881,
or the LSC office, 253-3791.
MIT or Wellesley ID required, one guest allowed per ID.
Admission to movies is $1.50 and a 20-Admission
Superticket is available for $28.
Classic Movie shows end before the start of the second
show of the corresponding Friday series movie.
Problems and changes to the mailing list should be addressed to
info-lsc-request@zurich.ai.mit.edu
This service is neither maintained nor supported by the
MIT Lecture Series Committee.
To see this information again, finger -l lsc@zurich.ai.mit.edu
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masa (Masahiro Arakawa):
{From system: This user's .plan file is not world readable}
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mczody (Michael C. Zody):
Stratomatic Hockey 1991-92
Team W L T Pts GIH Projected
Chicago 24 13 3 51 - 51
Boston 14 11 1 29 14 44.6
Montreal 15 11 3 33 11 45.5
NY Rangers 12 19 3 27 6 31.8
Los Angeles 9 12 1 19 18 34.5
Detroit 4 12 1 9 23 21.2
Missing Stats:
DET 0 @ CHI 4: DET stats
CHI 3 @ DET 2: CHI stats
MON 3 @ BOS 4: MON stats
DET 6 @ MON 1: MON stats
MON 4 @ DET 3: MON stats
MON 4 @ CHI 4: MON stats
CHI 0 @ MON 4: MON stats
CHI 3 @ DET 1: DET stats
CHI 3 @ MON 2: MON stats
BOS 5 @ MON 3: MON stats
DET 3 @ CHI 1: DET stats
CHI: two games, probably the unknown MON games
MON: two games, probably the unknown CHI games
Away: BOS CHI DET LAK MON NYR Record
Home: -------------------------------------------
BOS 4-0 5-2 3-1 5-8 0-3 6-7-0
1-2 4-2 5-8
2-3 3-4 4-2
7-4 3-2
-------------------------------------------
CHI 3-1 2-7 0-4 4-2 3-2 8-9-3
6-1 3-1 5-6 MdC 1-4
4-1 0-4 3-4 3-2 4-4
3-3 3-1 2-3 4-4 3-7
-------------------------------------------
DET 7-3 2-0 3-3 6-3 0-8-1
3-2 4-3
5-2 3-2
3-1
-------------------------------------------
LAK 3-4 6-3 1-7 4-1 3-3 4-7-1
5-3 7-0 0-1
3-0 5-4
3-2 3-4
-------------------------------------------
MON 0-1 3-2 6-1 3-2 5-4 5-7-1
3-2 MdC 1-4
5-3 0-4 1-2
3-2 5-5
-------------------------------------------
NYR 2-1 6-2 2-4 2-3 3-2 6-11-0
3-2 5-1 5-2 2-4
3-4 2-1 5-2 2-7
3-5 2-0 3-1 2-0
-------------------------------------------
BOS CHI DET LAK MON NYR
Record 8-4-1 16-4-0 4-4-0 5-5-0 10-4-2 6-8-3
League-wide: 49 road wins, 29 home wins, 6 ties
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raek (Robyn A E Kozierok):
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rebeccaf (Rebecca D Fishbein):
DO I HAVE TO SAY THE WORDS?
Rescue me from the mire
Whisper words of desire
Rescue me - darling rescue me
With your arms open wide
Want you here by my side
Come to me - darling rescue me
When this world's closing in
There's no need to pretend
Set me free - darling rescue me
I don't wanna let you go
So I'm standing in your way
I never needed anyone like I'm needin' you today
Do I have to say the words?
Do I have to tell the truth?
Do I have to shout it out?
Do I have to say a prayer?
Must I prove to you how good we are together?
Do I have to say the words
Rescue me from despair
Tell me you will be there
Rescue me - darlin' rescue me
Every dream that we share
Every cross that we bear
Come to me - darlin' rescue me
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richlach (Richard W Lachman):
Oh, you'd like me to tell you my Plan, wouldn't you? That'd
fit right in with your little ploy, wouldn't it? I can
see it now; you start prying my Plan out of me, work your
way up to getting me to trust you, and then you rip my
heart right out of my throat (well, OK, I know my heart
isn't IN my throat, but the imagery is kind of nice, don't you think?)
and throw it onto the floor where you can dance the Mashed
Potato on it. Well, I've been hurt before, kiddo, by
unfeeling brutes like you, and I'm just not gonna stand
for it. Ya got it? I JUST WON'T STAND FOR IT!!!
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rlcarr (Richard L. Carreiro):
OoooooooWAAAooooooWAAAooooooWAAAoooooo...
When criminals in this world appear
And break the laws that they should fear
And frighten all who see and hear
The cry goes out both far and near for UNDERDOG! (Underdog!)
UNDERDOG! (Underdog!)
Chorus:
SPEED of LIGHTning...POW'R of THUNder...
FIGHTing ALL who ROB or PLUN-DER
UNderDOG...(Waaa-aaa-aaa-aaa-a)
UNderDOG...UN-DERDOG!
When in this world the headlines read
Of those whose hearts are filled with greed
And rob and steal from those in need
The cry goes out with lightning speed for UNDERDOG! (Underdog!)
UNDERDOG! (Underdog!)
(Repeat chorus)
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sethg (Seth A. Gordon):
Selected-By: The Great Squid
The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:
> Oh oracle, all knowing, I ask of you this question that has been
> in this for some time and find myself at a loss. I heard that light is
> made of microscopic particles that have nearly no weight. But, today,
> one of my professors told me that as an object approaches the speed of
> light, it gets heavier. Well, light GOES the speed of light, so isn't
> it heavy rather that light? If so, why don't we call light "heavy"?
And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
} That's a heavy question.
}
} Although it might be right to call light "light", it might be right not
} to call light "light". Your Professor Wright was right, light's made
} of mighty light mites, right? Right. Now light mites are light, and
} fight like mighty light mites. If one takes fright and takes flight,
} the fighting mite might follow right behind the mite with fright. If
} the fighting mite gets right up with the flighty mite, it might take a
} bite from the flighty mite's right leg, lightening the flighty mite.
} Now as the fighting mite and the flighty mite get right up to the speed
} of light, if the fighting mite likes biting the flighty might the
} flighty mite gets lighter, so it can be flightier. So when the flighty
} might is right at the speed of light it's actually quite light, right?
} Right.
}
} If light were called "heavy" I wouldn't have been able to write that
} paragraph.
}
} You owe the Oracle every light bulb joke ever. Right?
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starflt (Derrick Kong):
MAKING FOR LOW INSURANCE RATES
In TSR's Adventures of Indiana Jones, any character can be hit with
machine gun or rifle fire up to 23 times before falling unconscious. If
first aid is applied, the character can recover completely in two hours.
from Murphy's Rules
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the_lion (Donald E Marks):
Remember to brush and floss your teeth at least
five times a day.
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therese (Therese):
So high above the world tonight,
The angels watch us sleeping
And underneath a bridge of stars,
We dream in safety's keeping
But perhaps the dream
Is dreaming us
Soaring with the seagulls
Perhaps the dream
Is dreaming us
Astride the backs of eagles
- Sting
The Soul Cages
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vivace (Terence M Collins):
Tanzan and Ekido were once traveling together down a muddy road. A heavy
rain was still falling. Coming around a bend, they met a lovely girl in
a silk kimono and sash, unable to cross the intersection. "Come on, girl,"
said Tanzan at once. Lifting her in his arms, he carried her over the mud.
Ekido did not speak again till that night when they reached a lodging temple.
Then he could no longer restrain himself. "We monks don't go near females,"
he told Tanzan, "especially not young and lovely ones. It is dangerous.
Why did you do that?" "I left the girl there," said Tanzan," Are you still
carrying her?"
--- End of Central America ---
