[3494] in Central_America
New quotes for Mon Jul 15
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
Mon Jul 15 01:30:45 1991
Date: Mon, 15 Jul 91 01:30:16 EDT
From: root@charon.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
To: ca-mtg@bloom-beacon.mit.edu
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alchen (Alice Chen):
Lookit my .plan under my account alchen@fenchurch.mit.edu.
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ambar (Jean Marie Diaz):
From: mark@umbra.cc.gatech.edu (Mark J. Reed)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
Subject: A cop with a sense of humour (true)
Keywords: true, funny
Date: 14 Jul 91 10:30:03 GMT
The person I heard this from ("Al" in the story) swears that it really
happened. (And no, I'm not this "Mark" - you should be able to figure
out why I chose those names. :)
Two guys (we'll call them "Mark" and "Al") are out cruising. Mark is
driving, and they're on some out-of-the way roads. Mark is distracted
and doesn't see a stop-sign, and a few moments after he runs it they
hear a siren and see blue lights. Mark has never been stopped by the
police before, and gets really nervous.
MARK: OhshitwhatdidIdo? I wasn't speeding, was I? No, I wasn't
speeding. What'd I do what'd I do?
He pulls over, shaking like a leaf. The cop pulls in behind and walks
up to his window.
COP: You realize you ran a stop sign back there?
MARK: [panicky] No, honest! I didn't see it! I didn't *mean*
to run it! I just didn't see it! Really!
COP: I'll need to see your drivers' license.
Mark pats his pants for a few seconds before remembering that he's
wearing shorts with no pockets. He looks around the car, finds his
wallet, opens it up, and starts frantically throwing things out of it
into the back seat. No license. He enlists Al's help, and together
they search the glove compartment, under the seats, behind the cushions,
front and back, to no avail. After ten or fifteen minutes of searching,
Al looks up and catches the officer's eye.
AL: You don't need to see his identification.
COP: [without missing a beat] I don't need to see his identification.
AL: These aren't the droids you're looking for.
COP: These aren't the droids we're looking for.
AL: He may go on about his business.
COP: You may go on about your business.
AL: Move along.
COP: Move along.
At this point the cop turns around, walks back to his car, gets in, and
drives away.
Mark pulls out and makes it about 200 yards down the road. Then he
stops and just shakes for a few minutes, finally asking Al to drive.
--
Mark J. Reed CLOUDS Project System Administrator
--
Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL your jokes (jokes ONLY) to funny@looking.ON.CA
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply.
Remember: Always give your jokes a descriptive "Subject:" line.
So many people use "joke" or "submission" like I was expecting something else?
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eichin (Mark W. Eichin):
Plan - to break free of conventional sleep patterns *and get away with it*
- to become expert at RaiDen without totally destroying my left elbow
- to enjoy Delaware
- to finally fix that !%$&% gcc bug...
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lkherold (Lori K Herold):
Hello out there!!!
Is anyone out there?
Hello, anyway!
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prune (Paul Berland):
{From system: This user's .plan file is not world readable}
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reuven (Reuven M. Lerner):
Happy birthday to me,
Happy birthday to me,
Happy birthday to me,
Happy birthday to me!
(My fourth in Israel, and my 21st altogether. Funny, I don't feel old.)
--- End of Central America ---
