[3306] in Central_America
New quotes for Wed Mar 27
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
Wed Mar 27 01:28:34 1991
Date: Wed, 27 Mar 91 01:28:08 EST
From: root@charon.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
To: ca-mtg@bloom-beacon.mit.edu
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astronut (Robert M Sanner):
{From system: This user's .plan file is not world readable}
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kiran (Kiran Dandekar):
{From system: This user's .plan file is not world readable}
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mcdonald (Steve McDonald):
John, I have to agree: |-------- @@@
rain sucks. 0=| @@@@@@
|-------- @@@
one clear night in the /\ \ \
last three weeks: / \ \
I need a month of clear weather / \ \ \\ \
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sethg (Seth A. Gordon):
--- 177-10 21017 3.9 -----------------------------------------------------
The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:
> What is true stress?
And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
} True stress is when you have invited the vicar over, and he's supposed
} to arrive in half an hour and the cook has cut the cucumbers too thick
} for cucumber sandwiches, only when she tries to cut them in half they
} come out too thin and look ever so sloppy, and Fifi is sitting on the
} settee in the parlor and scratching as if she has fleas and might just
} very well leave some of them on the settee and give them to the vicar if
} he should chance to sit upon the settee, only the butler is off
} polishing his shoes and the gardner is too grubby to even so much as
} look at the settee, much less touch it.
}
} And then you discover that your white gown is half an inch too short,
} and your blue gown is half an inch too long, and the only one remaining
} is the red one that looks as if you are some sort of loose woman, but
} you haven't any choice and the vicar is *sure* to inquire about it.
}
} And then the butler comes in and he must have polished the soles of his
} shoes, as they leave black footprints on the floor and on the oriental
} rug, and it's not to be endured.
}
} And then the cook announces that there are no currants for the scones,
} and should she make due with sultanas, or could the gardner be sent to
} town to get some currants if you don't mind having the scones a little
} late, and by the way there's only salted butter, no fresh, so maybe the
} gardner had better be sent to town for that even if it will take him
} longer, and by the way Fifi got into the cream cake and sat in it, and
} went hopping around the kitchen leaving little creamy footsteps, and so
} there won't be any cream cake for the vicar even though everyone knows
} that it's his favorite, and there's no helping it at all.
}
} And then Fifi comes into the parlor, still covered with cream, and sits
} on the blue chaise lounge and starts licking her hinder parts just as if
} she weren't absolutely ruining the rug and the lounge and her dear
} beloved mistress' party all at the same time, and the cook goes to pick
} the poor dear up, and she trips on the rug which you had lifted to see
} the extent of the damage, and she flounders wildly into the Ming vase to
} the right of the fireplace, and it falls over and smashes a crystal
} decanter of port into tiny shards, and a tiny chip breaks off of the
} mouth of the vase, and the cook has a black eye, and Fifi gives a little
} shriek and jumps up and runs across the room leaving more footprints of
} cream, and the cook is too upset to clean up the decanter before she
} goes and puts a slice of beefsteak on her eye, so the room shall smell
} of port when the vicar comes in.
}
} And the gardner has just changed his clothes, and he comes in to move
} the *settee* rather than the lounge, and when you finally tell him to
} move the *lounge* rather than the settee, and bring one or two of the
} chairs from the library, and he does, and then he sits on the settee and
} you notice that he's forgotten to change his jacket, and now the settee
} will smell faintly of perspiration as well as probably having fleas.
}
} But there's no helping it, for now the doorbell is ringing and you go to
} answer it and it's not the vicar, but three Denebian slime devils who
} have crash-landed their flying saucer in the back yard, and now they
} want to use the hyperspace radio and if they can't they'll just have to
} eat everyone in the household and then turn them into mindless slaves
} and sell them beyond the Dark Nebula, only it's the nineteenth century
} and you haven't got a hyperspace radio, but the butler comes out and
} engages the slime devils in a bit of an imbroglio.
}
} And then the vicar arrives, punctual as always, and finds your house in
} total disorder. That's stress.
}
} The Oracle has stressed out. You owe the Oracle a stress-pill.
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therese (Suntioinen Therese M.):
With one breath, with one flow
You will know
Synchronicity
-- The Police
Synchronicity
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yandros:
Ozymandias
I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on those lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed;
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
-Percy Bysshe Shelley-
=======================================================================
|yandros@ATHENA.MIT.EDU |
| Incarnation of Indescision, at least for now... |
|Chad Phillip Brown |
|East Campus Box 11 'And I heard him proclaim, |
|3 Ames Street as he flew out of sight, |
|Cambridge, Massachusetts "Merry Christmas to all |
| 02139 and May the Force Be With You!!!" |
|Munroe 504 617-225-6504 |
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--- End of Central America ---
