[3303] in Central_America
New quotes for Mon Mar 25
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
Mon Mar 25 01:27:55 1991
Date: Mon, 25 Mar 91 01:27:29 EST
From: root@charon.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
To: ca-mtg@bloom-beacon.mit.edu
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azshah (Ahmad Z Shah):
Graduate with a 2.9 GPA.
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/ \ (o)(o)(##)
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oooooo
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/ / / V \/ \---.
/ / \_ /
/ (o)(o) (o)(o) <__.
C _) _C /
/ ,____/ /____, ) \
/ / \ /-----'
/_____\ ooooo
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cfields (Craig Fields):
WILD STRAWBERRIES
Are Wild Strawberries really wild?
Will they scratch an adult, will they snap at a child?
Should you pet them, or let them run free where they roam?
Could they ever relax in a steam-heated home?
Can they be trained to not growl at the guests?
Will a litterbox work or would they leave a mess?
Can we make them a Cowberry, herding the cows,
Or maybe a Muleberry pulling the plows,
Or maybe a Huntberry chasing the grouse,
Or maybe a Watchberry guarding the house,
And though they may curl up at your feet oh so sweetly,
Can you _ever_ feel that you trust them completely?
Or should we make a pet out of something less scary,
Like the Domestic Prune or the Imported Cherry,
Anyhow, you've been warned and I will not be blamed
If your Wild Strawberry cannot be tamed.
--- Shel Silverstein
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chanh (Chanh Vuong):
And all the children shall weep
And all the green fields shall crimson red be
And all the animals shall from their kingdoms flee,
Then shall one clothed in lores of many lands
Stride forth to conquer, to destroy Dark's hand
That which has pass, shall be once again.
-- The Prophet of Three Rings
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efhilton (Edgar Hilton):
Well, Hey.. What can I say?
I am flattered at you being interested in me.
However I must say that the real guy is better
than the cold hearted terminal.
So now that you have this information
about me, do something useful with it...
come and meet me!!
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hooch (Conrad G Yoder):
Well, I am now back from Magyar Koztarsasag (that's Hungary to you non-
Hungarian speaking-types). It was lots of fun. Now I'm trying to get back
into the swing of things here at good ol' MIT (and take full advantage of the
fact that I am now 21).
Also, as you may have noticed, I am not in the MIT phone book (and the
Registrar doesn't even know where I live!). Here is the current info:
School: Home:
Baker House Room 631 55178 T.R. 170
x5-7381 Fresno, OH 43824
18C/3 (614)545-6796
Quote of the Week: "Yes, of course you can see my i.d."
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jcbourne (Juliet C Bourne):
A friend is there to help you
And maybe he'll understand
If not, well, know he's trying
You can feel it in his hands
Paul Young, "A Certain Passion"
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jik (Jonathan I. Kamens):
Article: 2325 of rec.humor.funny
Path: bloom-picayune.mit.edu!mintaka!think.com!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!uwm.edu!lll-winken!looking!funny-request
From: mr2t+@andrew.cmu.edu (Michael Tod Rose)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
Subject: Iraqi "Chess"
Keywords: original, funny, topical
Message-ID: <S248.d62@looking.on.ca>
Date: 24 Mar 91 08:20:04 GMT
Lines: 71
Approved: funny@looking.on.ca
Here's a soulful little ditty sung to the tune of "One Night In Bangkok"
from the musical "Chess." Lyrics by Michael T. Rose and Javier
Grillo-Marxuach.
{ed Congratulations. I usually don't do song parodies, as they rarely
work in written form....}
*Our Man In Baghdad*
Baghdad!
Middle Eastern city.
And the city don't know what the city will get.
The creme de la creme of the arsenal in a raid with
everything but Dan Quayle.
Bombs fly! Doesn't seem a minute since the last one fell
with some nerve gas in it.
No chance! Hop into the shelter
Sitting under fire and your skin begins to swelter
It's Cambodia; or Vietnam; or Dresden; or... or this place!
Chorus:
Our man in Baghdad
Calls in to Atlanta
Not much between the press and shell debris
We'll hear his broadcast underneath our gas masks
And if I'm lucky, Scuds won't fall on me
I can hear an air raid siren close to me
One bomb's very like another
when your head's down under the table, brother
It's a blast! It's a scream! It's really quite an big thrill
To be out here in the rubble; we're examining the last kill
Wait a minute! If you've seen one network's retired
military commentators...
Skin lice! Open sores! We're not afraid
of the mustard gas pustules
Ca-ble! You're looking at a newsman
Who's every phrase is out on the tube, man
I get my news *before* the networks, Brokaw!
I don't see Rather reading the kind of scoops
I'm postulating
I'd give you Pete; I'll take Wolf Blitzer
And the Times will print "whatever fits her."
And you better believe that Saddam is watching
...from his bunker
Chorus:
Our Man in Baghdad
Makes the war seem simple
He's got a platitude for every shot
He's not afraid of going over budget
And if we're lucky, the Allies won't choke
I can smell a story in the acrid smoke
Chorus repeats, and out...
--
Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL your jokes (jokes ONLY) to funny@looking.ON.CA
If you post instead of mailing, it screws up the reply-address sometimes.
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply.
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therese (Suntioinen Therese M.):
Beethoven's gone but his music lives on
and Mozart don't go shopping no more.
You'll never meet Liszt or Brahms again
and Elgar doesn't answer the door.
Schubert and Chopin used to chuckle and
love whiles composing their long symphony.
But one hundred and fifty years later
there's very little of them left to see.
The decomposing composers.
There's nothing much anyone can do.
You can still hear Beethoven
but Beethoven cannot hear you.
H{ndel and Haydn and Rachmaninov
enjoyed a nice drink with their meal.
But nowadays no one will serve them
and their grave it is left to conceal.
Verdi and Wagner delighted the crowds
with their highly original sound.
The pianos like Pleyel does still working
but thereabout six feet under ground.
The decomposing composers.
There's less of them every year.
You can say what you like to Debussy
but there's not much of him left to hear.
Claude Achille Debussy. Died 1918.
Christoph Willibald Gluck. Died 1787.
Carl Maria von Weber. Not at all well 1825. Died 1826.
Giacomo Meyerbeer. Still alive 1863. Not still alive 1864.
Modest Musorgski. 1880 going to parties. No fun any more 1881.
--- End of Central America ---
