[3286] in Central_America
New quotes for Mon Mar 18
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
Mon Mar 18 01:28:45 1991
Date: Mon, 18 Mar 91 01:28:25 EST
From: root@charon.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
To: ca-mtg@bloom-beacon.mit.edu
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bfbrown (I Don't Exist):
{From system: This user's .plan file is not world readable}
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chas (Charles T Wong):
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Purdue University Rocks!!!!!
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decanio (Ken DeCanio):
I like blue but sometimes I bring my lunch
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freak (Martin R Friedmann):
{From system: This user's .plan file is not world readable}
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gweswein (Glenn W Eswein):
To scare the heck out of Scott wherever and whenever possible.
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jcbourne (Juliet C Bourne):
Take him back Rachel / It's time to stop lying
When he looks at me he's dreaming of your eyes
Don't be hard Rachel / There is no denying
He was never truly happy in my arms
Take him back, oh take him back Rachel
Ignore what people say and listen to your heart
Someone up there knows it is only your silly pride
Maybe that's the best thing that ever happened to you baby
Sail against the wind / Against the tide
Don't say it's not right / Take him back
Love him back Rachel / He is pining for you
Just a mention of your name / His heart flutters
Don't waste time Rachel / Sure you know too
That being with him is the only thing that matters
"Take Him Back Rachel", _London Warsaw New York_, Basia
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jik (Jonathan I. Kamens):
From: goldstein@arecibo.aero.org (SAMUEL GOLDSTEIN)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
Subject: Look & Feel joke
Keywords: computer, smirk, swearing
Date: 17 Mar 91 11:30:02 GMT
LAWSUITS THREATEN INDUSTRY
In a new twist to the computer industry's running "Look and Feel"
patent battles, lawyers for Dr. Upda Evidens have filed suit against 98%
of the computer industry. Dr. Evidens, CEO of the Closed Software
Corporation, asserted in court that "this is just the beginning. We are not
going to tolerate any further abuse of our patents, which, I might add, are
as rampant as they are blatant."
The briefs filed in the case indicate that up to 70% of all computer
industry professionals infringed upon CSC's patented "like shit" look and
feel. Dr. Evidens cited studies showing that on any average Monday, sixty
to seventy percent of all programmers are reported to "look and feel like
shit."
The Closed Software Corporation also notes excessive unlicensed use
of other patented Look and Feel combinations, top among them "like hell,"
"awful," and "totally gnarly."
Despite the fact that the CSC lawsuits are some of the largest and most
comprehensive in the history of the computer industry, Evidens speaks of
widening the scope of the litigation. "You see," he said at a press
conference recently, "these violations are not limited to the information
industry. I regularly see individuals in the banking industry, insurance,
government, and yes, even the media, in unlicensed use of various patents that
we hold." When asked about his goals in filing further lawsuits, Evidens
merely smiled, and offered a flash demonstration of two of the more recent CSC
patents, "filthy rich," and "powerful."
Industry analysts are watching Dr. Evidens and his lawyers closely,
(and, according to Evidens, are coming arbitrarily close to violating
another patent, the "nervous" look and feel) to see the results of this
case, and to find how it will affect future developments.
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DISCLAIMER: This is all fluff, purely the results of a deranged imagination.
All individuals, corporations, and other entities mentioned above
are purely fictional, and should not be construed.
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--
Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL your jokes (jokes ONLY) to funny@looking.ON.CA
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply.
If you don't need an auto-reply, submit to rhf@looking.on.ca instead.
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kirk (Kirk P. Gilpin):
{From system: This user's .plan file is not world readable}
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lnp (Lisa N Paradis):
In the future:
6.033 case study due Tuesday (3/19)
1.101 experiment stuff due Thursday (3/21)
March 22 -- SPRING BREAK!!!
(house hunting, plant trips, etc)
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Words-n-stuff for the day:
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nazgul7 (Michael J Seidel):
"That which does not kill me had better be able to run damn fast."
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therese (Suntioinen Therese M.):
K{{nn|s er{{n amerikkalaisen koulupojan (ik{ 9 v.) aineesta nimelt{{n:
MIKSI AION TULLA ISONA?
-----------------------
Haluan tulla lent{j{ksi, kun olen kasvanut isoksi---koska se on
hauskaa hommaa ja helppoa. Sen takia on nykyisin niin paljon lent{ji{.
Lent{jien ei tarvitse k{yd{ paljon koulua, heid{n on vain opittava
lukemaan numeroita, jotta he osaisivat lukea mittareita. Luulen, ett{
heid{n pit{{ osata lukea my|s karttoja, niin ett{ he l|yt{v{t perille
jos ovat eksyksiss{.
Lent{jien on oltava rohkeita, niin etteiv{t he pel{sty, jos on
sumuista niin ettei voi n{hd{ tai jos siipi tai moottori putoaa pois,
heid{n on pysytt{v{ rauhallisina, jotta he tiet{isiv{t mit{ pit{{
tehd{.
Lent{jill{ pit{{ olla hyv{t silm{t, niin ett{ he n{kev{t pilvien l{pi,
eiv{tk{ he saa pel{t{ salamoita tai ukkosta, koska he ovat l{hemp{n{
niit{ kuin me.
Min{ pid{n my|s siit{ palkasta, jota lent{j{t saavat. He saavat
enemm{n rahaa kuin ehtiv{t kuluttaa. Se johtuu siit{, ett{ useimmat
ihmiset pit{v{t lent{mist{ vaarallisena, paitsi lent{j{t, jotka
tiet{v{t kuinka helppoa se on.
Ei siin{ ole paljon sellaista, mist{ en pit{isi, paitsi se, ett{ tyt|t
pit{v{t lent{jist{ ja kaikki lentoem{nn{t haluaisivat menn{ naimisiin
lent{jienkanssa, niin ett{ heid{n on aina ajettava ne pois jotteiv{t
ne olisi h{iri|ksi. Toivottavasti en tule ilmasairaaksi. Jos tulen
ilmasairaaksi ei minusta voi tulla lent{j{{ ja sitten minun pit{{
menn{ t|ihin.
--- End of Central America ---
