[2917] in Central_America
New quotes for Sat Nov 17
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
Sat Nov 17 02:30:15 1990
Date: Sat, 17 Nov 90 01:31:17 EST
From: root@charon.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
To: ca-mtg@bloom-beacon.mit.edu
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ambar (Jean Marie Diaz):
Of all the strange "crimes" that human beings have legislated out of
nothing, "blasphemy" is the most amazing- with "obscenity" and "indecent
exposure" fighting it out for second and third place.
"The Notebooks of Lazarus Long"
R. A. Heinlein
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bauhaus (Bilal A. Khan):
Self-will over natural law.
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bierce (Jonathan C Bierce):
Ulysses S. Grant:
"Bold in conception, self-reliant, demonstrating by his acts that 'much danger
makes great hearts most resolute,' fertile in resources, combining the
restlessness of a Hotspur with the patience of a Fabius, it is no wonder that
he should have been looked upon as the wizard of the battlefield."
- General Horace Porter
Eric Fox (Yale '94) has informed me that some of you Jefferson folk don't know
my address. For those of you who want it:
Jon the Great
450 Memorial Dr. A217
Cambridge, Mass 02139
(617) 225-6215
GO NAVY, BEAT ARMY!!!!
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celine (Robert Fullmer):
Grape vines (not much longer would you be mine)
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dmweis (David M Weisberg):
Hi, my name is Dave Weisberg, and this is my plan file.
* * * *
Sorry, I don't exist any more. I left Athena at Fri Nov 16 17:41:03 EST 1990.
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dpeisach (Daniel Peisach):
I can't believe it...you actually found a practical use
for geometry!
-Bart Simpson
last night's episode
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fallas (Evelyn F Smith):
I plan to love Dags and to follow God's will for my life. (:%
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glassw (William B Glass):
**************************************************************
* THE DENTIST SONG *
* -- Little Shop of Horrors *
**************************************************************
When I was young and just a kid
My momma noticed a bunch of things I did
Like shooting puppies with a BB gun
I'd poisoned guppies, and when I was done
I'd find a pussy cat and bash its head.
That's when my mommma said:
What did she say?
She said, my boy, I think someday you'll find
A way to make your natural tendencies pay.
You'll be a dentist.
Be a dentist!
You have a talent for causing pain.
Pain!
Son! Be a dentist.
People will pay you to be inhumane.
Inhumane!
Your temperament's wrong for the priesthood,
And teaching would suit you still less...
Son! Be a dentist.
You'll be a success!
Here he is folks, the defeator
of the plaque.
Watch him suck up that gas,
oh my God!
He's a dentist, but he'll never
be any good.
Who wants their teeth done by
the Marquis de Sade?
Oh that hurts! Wait, I'm not numb!
Ah, shaddup! Here I come!
I am your dentist and I enjoy a career that I picked.
love it!
I'm your dentist, and I get off on the pain I inflict.
really love it!
I thrill when I drill a bicuspid.
I swell when they tell me I'm maladjusted.
And although it may cause my patients distress,
Somewhere, somewhere, in heaven above me
I know, I know that my momma is proud of me.
Oh, Momma!
'Cause I'm a dentist - and a success!
Say ahhh... ahhhhhhhhhhh...
Say ohhh... ohhhhhhhhhhh...
Say arghhhhhhhhh! arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
NOW SPIT!
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helm (Shawn M Helm):
Idaho is the center of the Universe
the new beginning will start at the center
and soon the entire Universe will be cleansed
with mighty Idaho to rule.
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lnp (Lisa N Paradis):
Plan for this week...
\ 6.046 quiz
x read books on Corelli for 21.621
x create outline for 21.621 project
\ listen to Early Baroque's Greatest Hits
\ draft of section one -- 21.690 paper
x read several books on CAD/CAM
\ finish writing chapter 4 of my thesis
x = done
\ = in progress
===========
Thought for the day:
Today's secret word is indisputable.
in.dis.pu.ta.ble \.in-dis-'pyu:t-*-b*l, (')in-'dis-py*t-\ \-ble-\ aj [LL
indisputabilis, fr. L in- + disputabilis disputable] : not disputable :
UNQUESTIONABLE {~ proof} - in.dis.pu.ta.ble.ness n - in.dis.pu.ta.bly av
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paul (Paul Boutin):
That guy on _Parker Lewis_ *does* look like me. But uglier.
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sethf (Seth Finkelstein):
GETTING RELIGION
[A column by Dave Barry]
the thing about religion is that everybody else's always appears stupid.
For example, if you read about some religious sect in India that believes
God wants people to drink their own urine, you don't say to yourself, "Isn't
it amazing, the diversity of belief systems man has developed in his
never-ending quest to understand and cope with the intricate moral dilemmas
posed by a complex and uncertain world?" No, what you say to yourself is,
"These people have the brains of a trout."
Meanwhile, over in India, the sect members are getting a major chuckle over
the fact that some American basketball players cross themselves before they
take foul shots. "As if God cares about foul shots!" the sect members howl,
tears streaming down their faces. "Say, is this my urine or yours?"
That's the basic problem, of course: figuring out what God wants us to do.
I will admit right up front here that I don't have the vaguest idea. All my
religious training was in Sunday School, maybe 25 years ago, and the main
thing I remember was that God was always smiting the Pharisees. At least I
think it was the Pharisees. it seemed that hardly a day went by when they
didn't get the tar smitten out of them, which is probably why you see so few
of them around anymore.
My wife, who has had bales of religious training, tells me that this was
the Old Testament God, who was very strict, whereas the New Testament God is
a genuinely mellow deity, the kind of deity who would never smite anybody or
order you to smear goat's blood on your first-born son, which is the kind of
thing the Old Testament God was always doing.
Note: the preceeding paragraph is in no way intended to suggest
that there is anything wrong with smearing goat's blood on your
first-born son. As far as I'm concerned, this is an excellent ri-
tual, and I would do it myself if not for the fact that my son
might tell the school authorities. Please put away your
machetes. Thank you.
It used to be much worse. Back in ancient Greece and Rome, they had gods
all over the place, and it was no fun at all being a mortal, as you know if
you ever read any myths:
"One day two young lovers, Vector and Prolix, were walking in a
garden. This angered Bruno, the god of gardens, so he turned
Vector into a toad. Saddened, Prolix picked up her lover and
squeezed him to her bosom, which caused him to soil her garment.
This angered Vito, the god of fabric, who turned Prolix into an
exceedingly unattractive insect. Saddened, Vector hopped to his
lover, which angered Denise, who was the goddess of municipal wa-
ter supply and just happened to be in the neighborhood, so she
hit them both with a rock."
And so on. So things are better now. Today most of us believe in just the
one God, and He never turns people into toads or anything, unless you count
Spiro Agnew. All He wants us to do is what He wants us to do, which is clearly
revealed in the Bible (sound of machetes being unsheated) and the Talmud and
the Koran and the Book of Mormon and the works of L. Ron Hubbard. These holy
writings tell us what God wants us to do, often in the form of revealing
anecdotes:
"And Bezel saideth unto Sham: 'Sham,' he saideth, 'Thou shalt
goest unto the town of Begorrah, and there thou shalt fetcheth
unto thine bosom 35 talents, and also shalt thou fetcheth a like
number of cubits, provideth that they are nice and fresh."
The problem is that many of us don't have the vaguest idea what these
anecdotes reveal. This is why we have broadcast preachers, who can take a
religious anecdote and explain it over the course of a half-hour in such a
manner that if you listened all the way through you would have no questions
at all:
Broadcast preacher: And so we can see that it was Bezel who told
Sham to go to Begorrah. It was not Sham who told Bezel: It was
Bezel who told Sham. Now people ask me, they say, "Brother Ray
Bob Tom, what do you mean, it was Bezel who told Sham?" and I
say, "What I mean is that when we're talking about who told who
to go to Begorrah, we must understand that it was Bezel who
told..."
And so on. It can take upwards of a week to get through an entire sentence,
which is why you often have to send in a love offering so you can get
cassettes so you'll remember what is is that God wants you to do. This
sometimes seems too complicated, as a lot of people have switched over to the
more relaxed style of the Merv Griffin-type of broadcast preachers, who have
bands and potted plants and sofas and everything. ("Our next guest is not
only one of the top Christians in the business but also a close personal
friend of mine.")
So we have a number of ways of finding out what God wants us to do, and
each of us must decide what the answer is in this wonderful country where we
are free to believe as we choose, and where there are strict laws against
assaulting people just because we don't like something they wrote.
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sker (Michael A Orlosky):
To save all bogus.newsgroups because they have journalistic merit.
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suresh (Adina Suresh):
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For your information :
Home addr: 305 Memorial Drive #203 A
Cambridge, MA 02139
Office addr: 5-424, MIT
77 Massachusetts Avenue
Cambridge, MA 02139
Phone : (617)- 225- 9554 (home)
(...) 253 7950 (office)
Birthday : 18 october
Interests: cooking, music, books,talking
and ofcourse sleeping
(not much interesting,right?)
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Note: Thank you for your interest. Now send me mail because I like to get it.
Life can be short or long
Life can be right or wrong
It's upto you
Make the right decision!!
\++================================| _=_
\_________________________________/ ___/==+++==\___
"""\__ \""" |======================================/
\__ \_ / .. . _/--===+_____+===--""
\__ \ _/. .. _/ `+'
\__ \ __/_______/ \
___-\_\-'---==+____| \
__--+" . . . "==_ \
/ |. . .. -------- | \ \ /
"==+_ . . -------- | / ---O---
""\___ . .. __==" /|\
""""--=--""
And if you feel like visiting me I will send this to pick you up.
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therese (Suntioinen Therese M.):
Bits and pieces, bits and pieces.
People.
People important to you, people unimportant to you cross your
life. Touch it with love and carelessness and move on.
There are people who leave you and you breathe a sigh of relief
and wonder why you ever came into contact with them.
There are people who leave you and you breathe a sigh of remorse
and wonder why they had to go away and leave such a gaping hole.
Children leave parents; friends leave friends, acquaintances
grow apart.
Enemies hate and move on.
Friends love and move on.
You think of the many who have moved into your hazy memory.
You look on those present and wonder.
I believe in God's master plan in life. He moves people in and
out of each other's lives, and each leaves his mark on the
other. You find you are made up of bits and pieces of all who
ever touched your life, and you are more because of it, and you
would be less if they had not touched you.
Pray to God that you accept the bits and pieces, in humility and
wonder, and never question and never regret.
Bits and pieces, bits and pieces.
- L. Channey
--- End of Central America ---
