[2575] in Central_America
New quotes for Tue Jul 17
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
Tue Jul 17 01:22:47 1990
Date: Tue, 17 Jul 90 01:22:17 EDT
From: root@charon.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
To: ca-mtg@bloom-beacon.mit.edu
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cemunoz (Carlos E. Munoz):
{From system: This user's .plan file is not world readable}
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fxzane (Francis X Zane):
Faith is the quality that enables you to eat blackberry jam on a picnic
without looking to see whether the seeds move.
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horiuchi (Junjiro Horiuchi):
"Wagahai wa neko de aru"
Logged out last from m16-034-9 at Mon Jul 16 12:41:46 EDT 1990.
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hunter (Donald O Tanguay):
{From system: This user's .plan file is not world readable}
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jcb (Jeff Bigler):
I think it's time for another Central America contest. Here's the
challenge:
Append a joke of your choice to the end of my .plan file. Sign it with
your username and the date and time you finished adding it.
Here are the rules:
- You may not start hacking on this until 6 pm Wednesday July 18
(at which time I will be logged in somewhere). You may think
about the problem, but you may not actually try anything on
athena before then. The exception to this is that you may
type in your joke before the contest starts, so that people
who got their jokes off the net do not have an unfair advantage.
- You may not become root *anywhere* while working on this
challenge.
- The time of last modification on .plan must still be July 16
at 22:22 when you're finished.
- You may not delete or change anything from this file (especially
someone else's joke). (i.e. you can add to the file, but you
can't change what's already there.)
- You may not change any files in ~jcb other than .plan.
- The challenge ends at 11:00pm on July 18 (in time to buy
prizes for the winners).
You are on your honor to follow these rules. (I will not check to see
whether you have been honest.) The first person to succeed will get one
item of his/her choice from Tosci's (up to the cost of a banana split).
The funniest joke (by my arbitrary judgment) wins its hacker a pint of
ice cream. Everyone else who puts a joke in gets a small cup of ice
cream. Good luck and happy hacking.
--Jeff Bigler
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jcbourne (Juliet C Bourne):
Computer Poetry (from rec.humor.funny)
---------------
<>!*''#
^@`$$-
!*'$_
%*<>#4
&)../
|{~~SYSTEM HALTED
Transliterated:
Waka waka bang splat tick tick hash,
Caret at back-tick dollar dollar dash,
Bang splat tick dollar under-score,
Percent splat waka waka number four,
Ampersand right-paren dot dot slash,
Vertical-bar curly-bracket tilde tilde CRASH.
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jtidwell (Jenifer P. Tidwell):
The proliferation of modern programming languages which seem to have stolen
countless features from each other sometimes makes it difficult to remember
which language you're using. This guide is offered as a public service to
help programmers in such dilemmas.
C: You shoot yourself in the foot.
Assembly: You crash the OS and overwrite the root disk. The system
administrator arrives and shoots you in the foot. After
a moment of contemplation, the administrator shoots himself
in the foot and then hops around the room rabidly shooting
at everyone in sight.
C++: You accidently create a dozen instances of yourself and shoot
them all in the foot. Providing emergency medical care
is impossible since you can't tell which are bitwise copies
and which are just pointing at others and saying, "that's
me, over there."
sh, csh,etc.:
You can't remember the syntax for anything, so you spend five hours
reading man pages before giving up. You then shoot the computer
and switch to C.
FORTRAN:
You shoot yourself in each toe, iteratively, until you run out
of toes, then you read in the next foot and repeat. If you run
out of bullets, you continue anyway because you have no exception-
processing ability.
CM FORTRAN:
You shoot yourself in each toe, using ten guns all at once.
BASIC:
Shoot self in foot with water pistol. On big systems, continue
until entire lower body is waterlogged.
lisp:
You shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with
which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun
with which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the
gun with which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds...
scheme:
You shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with
which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun
with which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the
gun with which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds...
...but none of the other appendages are aware of this happening.
English:
You put your foot in your mouth, then bite it off.
(a longer version of this made the rounds at TMC this week.)
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mar (Mark A. Rosenstein):
Your own pimple is a big boil.
- Waggish Russian Proverb
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quanta (Douglas A Newton):
Just working at the ole PFC this summer.
Don't have any real plans.
Let me know if you do...
--- End of Central America ---
