[2559] in Central_America
New quotes for Wed Jul 11
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
Wed Jul 11 01:23:07 1990
Date: Wed, 11 Jul 90 01:22:40 EDT
From: root@charon.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
To: ca-mtg@bloom-beacon.mit.edu
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bjaspan (Barr3y Jaspan):
If you don't know what you mean when you say "I love you", or why you
say it, then your love is meaningless and without purpose.
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cfields (Craig Fields):
To get out of user-interface hell with my sanity.
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fxzane (Francis X Zane):
Tax reform means "Don't tax you, don't tax me, tax that fellow behind
the tree."
-- Russell Long
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henry (Henry Mensch):
"Don't be fooled, straight people own the world and the only reason
you have been spared is you're smart, lucky, or a fighter."
-- Queer Nation
-----------------
Planned absences:
13 Jul UA 95 Dp BOS 0910 Ar SFO 1220
13 Jul UA 805 Dp SFO 1345 Ar SIN 2325 (Ar SIN 14 Jul)
21 Jul UA 806 Dp SIN 0730 Ar HKG 1115
25 Jul UA 806 Dp HKG 1210 Ar SFO 925
UA 20 Dp SFO 1340 Ar BOS 2211
---------------------------------
Plans for this month:
D organising the PANSS tape (and thinking about off-site support)
* (now, thinking about version two ... )
! treatment of athena network services as layers upon vendor os.
* finding and retaining a man who can pass the "breakfast" test
* shoveling out my apartment
* considering moving the rest of my furniture (and books,
and tapes, etc.) back into my apartment.
legend: * = "in progress"
+ = "in 'bureaucratic-wait' state"
! = "a future problem," in proposal stage
D = "done"
--
>off-campus readers will want to know that you'll find me here usually
>... when i'm not travelling to somewhere exotic, i'm a member of MIT's
>Project Athena External Relations Group, where i handle a potpourri of
>systems development related tasks, including software export issues,
>off-site support and installations, etc. ... other details: i'm an
>alumnus of syracuse university and purdue university ... i like to
>travel often, and hate answering the phone.
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horiuchi (Junjiro Horiuchi):
"Wagahai wa neko de aru"
Logged out last from m16-034-6 at Tue Jul 10 16:51:57 EDT 1990.
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jik (Jonathan I. Kamens):
Article 1758 of rec.humor.funny:
Path: bloom-beacon!snorkelwacker!usc!elroy.jpl.nasa.gov!decwrl!looking!funny-request
From: allans@ebay.sun.com (Allan "Just say YES to DARPA!" Meers)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
Subject: Dark Sucker
Keywords: heard it, smirk
Message-ID: <S146.dc7@looking.on.ca>
Date: 9 Jul 90 23:30:05 GMT
Lines: 76
Approved: funny@looking.on.ca
DARKNESS, BE GONE !
For years it has been believed that electric bulbs emitted
light. However, recent information has proven otherwise. Electric
headlight bulbs don't emit light; they suck dark. Thus, we will
call these bulbs DARK SUCKERS. The Dark Sucker Theory proves the
existence of dark, that dark has mass heavier than that of light,
and that dark is faster than light.
The BASIS OF THE DARK SUCKER THEORY is that electric bulbs
suck dark. Take for example the dark suckers in the room where
you are. There is less dark right next to them than there is
elesewhere. The larger the dark sucker, the greater its capacity
to suck dark. Dark suckers in a parking lot have a much greater
capacity than the ones in this room. As with all things, dark suckers
don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, they can no longer
suck. This is proven by the black spot on a full dark sucker.
A CANDLE IS A PRIMITIVE DARK SUCKER. A new candle has a
white wick. You will notice that after first use, the wick turns
black, representing all the dark which has been sucked into it. If
you hold a pencil next to the wick of an operating candle, the tip
will turn black, because it got in the way of the dark flowing into
the candle. Unfortunately, these primitve dark suckers have a very
limited range.
There are also PORTABLE DARK SUCKERS. The bulbs in these
can't handle all of the dark by themselves, and must be aided by dark
storage unit(s) in the handle. When the dark storage unit is full,
it must be either emptied or replaced before the portable dark
sucker can operate again.
DARK HAS MASS: When dark goes into a dark sucker, friction
from this mass generates heat. Thus, it is not wise to touch an
operating dark sucker. Candles present a special problem as the
dark must travel into the solid wick, instead of through glass. This
generates a great amount of heat. Thus, it can be very dangerous to
touch an operating candle.
DARK IS ALSO HEAVIER THAN LIGHT: If you go swimming, just below the
surface of a lake you will see a lot of light. If you swim deeper
and deeper, you notice it slowly gets darker and darker. When you
reach a depth of approximately 50 feet, you are in total darkness.
This is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the lake and
the lighter dark floats to the top.
The IMMENSE POWER OF DARK can be utilized to man's advantage.
We can collect the dark that has settled to the bottom of lakes, and
push it through turbines which generate electricity and helps push
dark to the ocean where it may be safely stored. Prior to turbines,
it was much more difficult to get dark from the rivers and lakes to
the ocean. The Indians recognized this problem and tried to solve
it. When on a river, in a canoe, traveling in the same direction as
the flow of dark, they paddled slowly, so as not to stop the flow of
dark; but when they traveled against the dark, they paddled quickly,
so as to help push the dark along its way.
Finally, we must prove that DARK IS FASTER THAN LIGHT. If you
were to stand in an illuminated room on front of a closed, dark closet,
then slowly open the closet door, you would see the light slowly enter
the closet; but since the dark is so fast, you would not be able to
see the dark leave the closet.
In conclusion, I would like to say that dark suckers make all
our lives much easier. So the next time you look at an electric bulb,
remember that it is indeed a dark sucker.
Credit to Randy Meers, Doug Dahlke, and Denny Goodrich.
--
Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL your jokes (jokes ONLY) to funny@looking.ON.CA
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply.
If you don't need a reply, submit to rhf@looking.on.ca instead.
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jrock (Jonathan E Rockman):
"But if there is no solace in the fruits of our research, there
is at least some consolation in the research itself. Men and
women are not content to comfort themselves with tales of gods
and giants, or to confine their thoughts to the daily affairs of
life; they also build telescopes and satellites and accelerators.
and sit at their desks for endless hours working out the meaning
of the data they gather. The effort to understand the universe
is one of the few things that lifts human life a little above the
level of farce, and gives it some of the grace of tragedy."
-- Steven Weinberg
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lapula (Lerothodi L Leeuw):
{From system: This user's .plan file is not world readable}
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mar (Mark A. Rosenstein):
Nothing is so burdensome as a secret.
- Furtive French Proverb
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paul (Paul Boutin):
To: paul@ATHENA.MIT.EDU
Subject: Re: a second opinion for you on working for VCG
Date: Wed, 11 Jul 90 01:16:11 EDT
As I sip on this well deserved last beer of the night and, read
this mail msg. I say that you have already emphasized enough
that this cover-up for a glamour fix all, and, get spit in
the face, office offering position is not worth my pissing on
my own dead dog's grave. Enough said, cause I'm off getting
a money maker book for free you `C'.
Brian Melanson
--- End of Central America ---
