[2374] in Central_America
New quotes for Thu Apr 26
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
Thu Apr 26 01:36:29 1990
Date: Thu, 26 Apr 90 01:35:30 EDT
From: root@charon.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
To: ca-mtg@bloom-beacon.mit.edu
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amgreene (Andrew Marc Greene):
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cniessen (Christopher C Niessen):
{From system: This user's .plan file is not world readable}
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firehose (Amy G. Chu):
To find reality and believe it.
To graduate.
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henry (Henry Mensch):
{From system: This user's .plan file is more than 10000 bytes long}
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jfc (John F Carr):
Article: 1595 of rec.humor.funny
From: edwards@cogsci.berkeley.edu (Jane Edwards)
Subject: conversation between two answering machines
From: alans@violet.berkeley.edu
This was in a letter from a friend of mine who works at Microsoft. I
thought it would be a good example of what feature interaction can
actually do. . .
A particularly insidious kind of sales call now appearing in several
cities is one which is initiated by computer, and contains recorded
questions by some mellifluous voice that requires answers in simple
digits or "yes" and "no". A voice recognition circuit then processes
your answers and asks further questions based on your former answers.
The sales pitch is usually disguised as a survey of some kind.
The despicable thing about these things is that they won't leave you
alone. If you hang up, they will just call back again.
One day my wife got a call from one of these computer systems, and her
answering machine answered. The conversation that followed was hilarious,
as it consisted of two machines talking to each other without having the
slightest idea about what each other was saying. The conversation wound up
in an endless loop, as follows:
[PHONE] *RING*
[ANSWERING MACHINE] "...At the tone, please give your message.
BEEEEEP."
[PHONE] "Hello. This is [company_name], and we are taking a telephone
survey ... when I ask a question, wait for the beep, then please
speak plainly. I will repeat your answer back to you, and verify it.
First, what is your phone number? BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP."
(The answering machine, upon hearing the beep, got confused and thought
it was a play-back command, and generated another beep in response.)
[ANSWERING MACHINE] "BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP."
[PHONE] "Thank you! Your phone number was 443-28347-47756-377764-22222.
Is that correct? BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP."
[ANSWERING MACHINE] "BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP."
[PHONE] "Thank you! Do you have any children? BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP."
[ANSWERING MACHINE] "BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP."
[PHONE] Thank you! What is the age of your first child? BEEEEEEEEEEP."
[ANSWERING MACHINE] "BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP."
[PHONE] "Your first child is 1,222 years old. Is that correct?
BEEEEEP."
[ANSWERING MACHINE] "BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP."
[--------------- BEGIN ENDLESS LOOP ----------------]
[PHONE] "Thank you! Do you have any more children? BEEEEEEP."
[ANSWERING MACHINE] "BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP."
[PHONE] "Thank you! What is this child's age? BEEEP."
[ANSWERING MACHINE] "BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP."
[PHONE] "This child is 4,233 years old. Is that correct? BEEEEP."
[ANSWERING MACHINE] "BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP."
[---------------------END LOOP -----------------------]
My wife, upon noticing that the answering machine had been going for over
half an hour, turned up the volume to find out what was going on. When
she discovered this endless loop (by now she had over 200 children, all
over 1,000 years old), she switched off the answering machine. The
computer never called again.
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Dave Kirby
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jgoodlif (Jay M. Goodliffe):
{From system: This user's .plan file is not world readable}
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jik (Jonathan I. Kamens):
In article <12840@csli.Stanford.EDU> poser@csli.Stanford.EDU (Bill
Poser) writes:
>In article <1845@speedy.mcnc.org> spl@duck.ncsc.org (Steve Lamont) writes:
>>What was the name of the operating system that the National Security
>>Agency used on its Crays (and maybe other machines??) before they
>>converted to UNICOS?
>
>Surely NSOS (No Such Operating System). :)
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lnp (Lisa N Paradis):
my plan is to make it out of this semester alive...
The secret of life is to keep a sense of humor even in the
face of tragedy...
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lwvanels (Lucien W. Van Elsen):
Shaw's Principle:
Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will
want to use it.
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mar (Mark A. Rosenstein):
Now is yesterday's tomorrow.
- Cosmic California Proverb
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mernst (Michael D Ernst):
{From system: This user's .plan file is not world readable}
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norm (Wayne M Miller):
``If we can't laugh at the walking dead,
then who can we laugh at?''
- John Larroquette
``I'm going to the back seat of my car with the woman
I love... and I won't be back for ten minutes!''
- Homer Simpson
``What, with my tongue in your tail? nay come
again,
Good Kate; I am a gentleman.''
- William Shakespeare,
_The Taming of the Shrew_
Act II, scene i, lines 216-218
``Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose,
and sometimes you get to kill one!''
- Gene Fierro
``Michael J. Fox has no Elvis in him.''
- Mojo Nixon
``Geminis are sexual dynamos!''
- Deb Kreuze
``Oh, no. I've been disemboweled by a samurai.
Quick, someone get me a washcloth!''
- Kevin Marsh
``Forumnet is the opiate of the masses.''
- myself
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othomas (Oliver Thomas):
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To the world at large, Doc Savage is a strange, mysterious figure of
glistening bronze skin and golden eyes. To his amazing co-adventurers,
the five greatest brains ever assembled in one group, he is a man of
superhuman strength and protean genius, whose life is dedicated to the
destruction of evil doers. To his fans he is the greatest adventure hero
of all time, whose fantastic exploits are unequaled for hair-raising
thrills, breathtaking escapes and bloodcurdling excitement.
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rcjr (Rolando Cabrera):
{From system: This user's .plan file is not world readable}
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redle (Brian L Elder):
Prepare to meet my friend, Mr. Ionic Displacer!
Dibs! I get to lick the beaters!
Yes Robin, your life was saved by good oral hygene.
With great power comes great responsibilty.
Quoth the raven, "nevermore."
Womp bomp a loo bomp a womp bam boom!
Ba weep gra na weep ninny bom.
Be by be, be by bo, be by bicky bicky be bicky bo, bicky by be bay bo.
Guess I better wind down my woofers!
Deedle deedle dee, wubba wubba wubba
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regis (Christopher G Cotton):
To remove the green jellybeans from the great jar,
and
SnArF Partuti A R G H ! !
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tom (Tom Coppeto):
1. TO WALK SLINKY DOWN STAIRS
Place Slinky on top stair. Grip coil at top and flip it over toward middle
of the next loewer step, releasing hold on Slinky. Now Slinky takes over
and walks downstairs all by itself.
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wchuang (Mithrandir):
There was a prolonged silence, which was fine by me. I didn't feel
much like talking anymore.
Rising, I started for the door.
"You were looking the other way when she left," the gargoyle said.
"You might like to know there were tears in her eyes."
"Mine too," I replied without turning. "That's why I was looking
the other way."
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The situation sucks... I am without will in the matter, and nothing good
will come of it.
--- End of Central America ---
