[2338] in Central_America
New quotes for Thu Apr 5
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU)
Thu Apr 5 01:33:05 1990
Date: Thu, 5 Apr 90 01:32:38 EDT
From: root@CHARON.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
To: ca-mtg@BLOOM-BEACON.MIT.EDU
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celine (Robert Fullmer):
Congratulations! You have purchased an extremely fine device that
would give you thousands of years of trouble-free service, except that
you undoubtably will destroy it via some typical bonehead consumer
maneuver. Which is why we ask you to PLEASE FOR GOD'S SAKE READ THIS
OWNER'S MANUAL CAREFULLY BEFORE YOU UNPACK THE DEVICE. YOU ALREADY
UNPACKED IT, DIDN'T YOU? YOU UNPACKED IT AND PLUGGED IT IN AND TURNED
IT ON AND FIDDLED WITH THE KNOBS, AND NOW YOUR CHILD, THE SAME CHILD
WHO ONCE SHOVED A POLISH SAUSAGE INTO YOUR VIDEOCASSETTE RECORDED AND
SET IT ON "FAST FORWARD", THIS CHILD ALSO IS FIDDLING WITH HE KNOBS,
RIGHT? AND YOU'RE JUST NOW STARTING TO READ THE INSTRUCTIONS,
RIGHT??? WE MIGHT AS WELL JUST BREAK THESE DEVICES RIGHT AT THE
FACTORY BEFORE WE SHIP THEM OUT, YOU KNOW THAT?
-- Dave Barry, "Read This First!"
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ho (Kai-Yee Ho):
(see project)
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jik (Jonathan I. Kamens):
Seen on the net, talking about the despised audible advertising in
grocery stores (Safeway in particular):
2. If I can't avoid going to Safeway, I take a few inches
of Scotch tape with me. The advertising stops whenever
one of the clerks hits the button on the intercom system
(to ask for another checkout clerk, for instance). Upon
entering the store, I go to one of the unused registers
and tape down the button on its intercom. Viola! No
more commercials. I heartily recommend this technique.
If enough people do it, maybe they'll get the message.
-- Jim Lyon
jimbo@tandem.com
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mar (Mark A. Rosenstein):
The proverbs are back by popular demand!
If your own hand doesn't wish you kindly, chop it off blindly.
- Foxy Russian Proverb
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paul (Paul Boutin):
From: cfields@ATHENA.MIT.EDU
To: paul@MIT.EDU
Subject: Size of ADT
Current sizes for stock twm...
-rwxr-xr-x 1 epeisach 245760 Mar 22 15:27 /mit/x11r4/rtbin/twm*
-rwxr-xr-x 1 root 191488 Mar 22 15:36 /mit/x11r4/vaxbin/twm*
Remember this:
In 1984 when the original Mac came out, it had the functional
equivalent (for a single user environment) of X server (i.e.
QuickDraw), window manager, and toolkit (scrollbars, menus, buttons of
all kinds, dialogs, resources...) all in ROM. How much ROM was that?
64K
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rosencra (John Buck):
"With half an eye on history
And half an ounce of hope."
- "Here Comes the Groom", John Wesley Harding
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vagarwal (Vinay Agarwala):
{From system: This user's .plan file is not world readable}
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wchuang (Mithrandir):
Employee Evaluation Guide
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|Performance |Outstanding |Above Average |Average |Fair |Poor |
|-------------|-------------|---------------|-----------|---------|-----------|
|INITIATIVE |Leaps over |Must take run- |Can leap |Crashs |Cannot |
| |tall build- |ning start to |over short |into |recognize |
| |ings in a |leap over tall |buildings |buildings|buildings |
| |single bound |buildings |only | | |
|-------------|-------------|---------------|-----------|---------|-----------|
|TIMELINESS |Is faster |Is as fast as |Not quite |Would you|Wounds |
| |than a |speeding bullet|as fast as |believe |self with |
| |speeding | |a speeding |a slow |bullet |
| |bullet | |bullet |bullet? | |
|-------------|-------------|---------------|-----------|---------|-----------|
|QUALITY |Is stronger |Is stronger |Is stronger|Shoots |Smells |
| |than a |than a bull |than a bull|the bull |like a |
| |locomotive |elephant | | |bull |
|-------------|-------------|---------------|-----------|---------|-----------|
|ADAPTABILITY |Walks on |Walks on water |Washes with|Drinks |Passes |
| |water |in emergencies |water |water |water in |
| |consistently | | | |emergencies|
|-------------|-------------|---------------|-----------|---------|-----------|
|COMMUNICATION|Talks with |Talks with |Talks to |Argues |Loses argu-|
| |God |the angels |self |with self|ments with |
| | | | | |self |
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--- End of Central America ---