[2260] in Central_America
New quotes for Wed Mar 7
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU)
Wed Mar 7 01:34:28 1990
Date: Wed, 7 Mar 90 01:33:42 EST
From: root@CHARON.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
To: ca-mtg@BLOOM-BEACON.MIT.EDU
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celine (Robert Fullmer):
Nature and nature's laws lay hid in night,
God said, "Let Newton be," and all was light.
It did not last; the devil howling "Ho!
Let Einstein be!" restored the status quo.
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ddean (Douglas J Deangelis):
{From system: This user's .plan file is not world readable}
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dschmidt (Dan'l Schmidt):
"If your date orders something with onions in it, make sure you do, too."
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jab (Jason A Beardsley):
"Sorhed!" cried Frito. "But Sorhed is no more."
"Don't believe everything you hear from the heralds," said Dildo
gravely. It had been thought that Sorhed was forever destroyed at the
Battle of Brylopad, but it appears that this was just wishful thinking.
Actually he and his Nine Nozdrul slipped out of the mopping-up cleverly
disguised as a troupe of gypsy acrobatic dancers. Escaping through the
Ngaio Marsh, they pushed their way into the suburbs of Fordor, where the
property values dropped like a paralyzed falcon. From Fordor they have
been renewing their strength ever since.
"His Dark Carbuncle of Doom has swollen and soon will come to a
head, covering the face of Lower Middle Earth with his ill humors. If
we are to survive, the boil must be soundly lanced before Sorhed begins
his own loathsome squeeze play."
"But how can this be done?" said Frito.
"We must keep him from the one thing that can mean victory," said
Goodgulf. "We must keep from him the Great Ring!"
...to be continued...
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jdmarko (Jim D.):
If you were to die today with no opportunity
to communicate with anyone, what would you
most regret not having told someone?
Why haven't you told them yet?
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518 Beacon Street Sigma Phi Epsilon
Boston MA MIT-Unlisted-Number: (617) 424-0682
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The "jdmarko" is a name that some of my friends back in 8th grade gave me.
I had found a black crayon and had begun to write question-marks on
everything, and someone said, "Hey! JD's marking everything up! JDMARKO!"
...And so the Crayola Club was formed... with it's "Colour of the Day"
and all the other silly, stupid things you think up when you're in
8th grade. (Actually, I *still* think up silly and stupid things...
Maybe I just haven't grown up yet! ?)
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"The Glazed Donut" is my fraternity name. It describes the not-too-uncommon
"glazed" look in my eyes. (Which is NOT! drug-induced, thank-you-very-
much! It's a *natural* glaze.) There's also a sick joke that goes
along with the name, but this isn't the place to tell it... you'll have to
ask!
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Just remember that the integral of e to the x is equal to the function
f(u) raised to the n power. (Write it out! hee hee!)
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jik (Jonathan I. Kamens):
Article 1489 of rec.humor.funny:
Path: bloom-beacon!snorkelwacker!tut.cis.ohio-state.edu!cs.utexas.edu!ssbn!looking!funny-request
From: arensb@cvl.umd.edu (Andrew Arensburger)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
Subject: Re: More Stupid Programs
Keywords: orginal, computer, smirk
Message-ID: <106762@looking.on.ca>
Date: 4 Mar 90 11:30:07 GMT
Sender: funnyr@looking.on.ca
Lines: 47
Approved: funny@looking.on.ca
Reply-Path: cvl.umd.edu!arensb
A while ago, somebody posted a list of stupid programs, mostly
spoofs of other ones. Here's all the followup I could muster.
Hacketris:
Run around a dungeon, kill monsters, and catch falling shapes.
[Distributed by UseNyet]
HeX:
Typesetter; AuToMaTiCaLlY cApItAlIzEs EvErY oThEr LeTtEr.
Requires 7Gb of disk space; more if you want a second font. Must be
pronounced "hechhh" (to rhyme with "blechhh"), or else the author will
make you read _The_HeXbook_.
Also available: MetalFONT, for designing baroque logos for
heavy-metal bands.[Written by Donald Newt]
Feather:
Compresses tape archives. Thus, files can be tarred and feathered.
[Standard UnixTM utility]
nsh:
NutSHell, the smallest UnixTM shell yet. Version 1.0 (the only
one released so far) includes only 'cd' and 'echo <string constant>'.
GNU-nsh, to be released later this year, is expected to be much more
powerful, with built-in Bourne, Korn and C shell emulators. The executable
is expected to go from 306 bytes to 7Mb with this release, however.
Lightspeed Lisp:
Unfortunately, this package will not be released, since the name
was deemed to be oxymoronic.
X-rated Windows:
X-rated windowing package. Includes obscenely-shaped windows,
salacious prompts, erotic background patterns, and mouse cursors shaped
like genitalia. Perfect for the window user with a twelve-year-old's mind.
Warning: susceptible to viruses.
And for you legal types out there, an actual quote (typo?) from
a University of Utah research paper:
"Unix is a registered bell of AT&T trademark laboratories."
--
Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL your jokes (jokes ONLY) to funny@looking.ON.CA
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. I will reply, mailers willing.
Remember: Only ONE joke per submission. Extra jokes may be rejected.
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mar (Mark A. Rosenstein):
A thick skin is a gift from God.
- Konrad Adenauer
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mer (Free Fall):
remember how i found you there
alone in your electric chair
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mstovino (Pasquale N. Jujube):
{From system: This user's .plan file is not world readable}
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psg (MIT Pagan Students' Group):
The MIT Pagan Students' Group
proudly presents
Internationally known Folk Musicians
Kenny and Tzipora
Wednesday, March 7, 1990
8pm
MIT Student Center, Private Dining Rooms 1 and 2
Suggested donation: $3-5
If you miss this concert (or even if you don't), you can also see them
at the Earthspirit Community Coffeehouse of Friday, March 16.
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tytso (Theodore Y. Ts'o):
"I cannot play with you," the fox said. "I am not tamed."
"What does that mean --- 'tame'?"
"It is an act too often neglected," said the fox. "It means
to establish ties.... if you tame me, then we shall need each other.
To you, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be
unique in all the world...."
"One only understands the things one tames," said the fox.
"Men have no more time to understand anything. They buy things all
ready made at the shops. But there is no shop anywhere where one can
buy friendship, and so men have no friends any more."
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"And how here is my secret, a very secret: It os only with the
heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invissble to the
eye.... Men have forgotten this truth. But you must not forget it.
You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."
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One runs the risk of weeping a little, if one lets himself be
tamed...
The Little Prince
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setenv TEDPATH 3-7788:3-4261:5-6389:3-3791
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wchuang (Mithrandir):
The following originally appeared in the 2/7/90 edition of "The Chronicle of
Higher Education," a weekly whose primary audience is college teachers
of all levels.
"SEATTLE - The University of Washington chapter of the Theta Xi fraternity
has been disciplined for a hazing incident in which police found members and
pledges dressed only in underwear and in possesion of two stolen sheep.
The fraternity has been expelled from the institution's Inter-fraternity
Council by a campus judicial committee for abusive treatment of the animals
and for violating university rules on hazing. It also has been suspended by
the national fraternity.
The incident occurred during initiation week. The police, acting on a
complaint, visited the fraternity house, where they found members and pledges
dressed in their underwear, with white grease on their hands and peanut butter
and other substances on their bodies.
The police report said the two female sheep were "overheated and agitated,"
but unharmed. The case was referred to detectives for further investigation.
Because the incident occurred off the campus, university officials said they
were unable to discipline the fraternity."
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wesommer (Bill Sommerfeld):
OLC is intended primarily for conversations between consultants. When
system users ask questions on OLC that should be asked using the
consult instance, it slows down the consulting process and makes it
more difficult for us to help people.
Please do not use OLC for questions that could be asked in the consult
instance. If you want to ask a question over zephyr, you might want
to consider using the "help" instance.
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yoyo (Hsi-Jung Wu):
{From system: This user's .plan file is not world readable}
--- End of Central America ---
