[1167] in Central_America
New quotes for Thu Dec 22
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU)
Thu Dec 22 01:28:37 1988
Date: Thu, 22 Dec 88 01:30:32 EST
From: Initializer.SysDaemon <root@CHARON.MIT.EDU>
To: ca-mtg@bloom-beacon.mit.edu
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aaron (Aaron A. Goodisman):
Plan:
To eat, sleep, read, and play the piano for all of vacation. Also to eat.
And perhaps sleep some.
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capsalad (Dave Schulman):
I think six consecutive all-nighters is eight too many.
Last night, tooling madly at an Athena cluster, I looked around me on
a sudden impulse. It was about 5:00 AM. I was struck by the chilling
realization that everyone in the cluster looked like... they looked
like... Elvis!
It WAS! It IS! It was ELVIS!
And it was horrible, my friends! They was all dressed in white, with
white turned-up collars and white shiny shoes and white vinyl belts and
they was all lookin' at me, they was all gettin' up out of their chairs
and comin' towards me...
And they had burnin' red eyes and black greased-back hair and they
was comin' towards me, my friends, and there was noplace I could go, they
was all around me before I could log out and get away, yes they was comin'
over to where I was sittin' and they was swingin' their hips and they
was... they was... they was hummin'... no, they was singin', they was all
singin' "Don't Be Cruel" and I couldn't get away...
Oh, it was horrible... and when they was through they made a circle
round me and waved their arms and lip-synched "Blue Suede Shoes" and
"Jailhouse Rock"... I thought I was never goin' to get out of there. I
thought my time had come to leave this world, surrounded by ten fake
Elvises all in white singin' the soundtrack to "Blue Hawaii" off-key and
twirlin' the mouses off the VAX computers 'cause they had no
microphones...
And that's what tipped me off, my friends, that it was all a fake,
that it was all a cruel joke on poor tired old Dave. I knew that a REAL
Elvis would've been prepared, yes he would have brought a microphone with
him and he wouldn't settle for no three-button VS 2000 mouse. I knew that
and I felt much better. I stood up, my friends, and the strength of ten
Elvises couldn't keep me down. My finger came down hard on the "l" key.
They grabbed my arms, but I fought them off and landed an "o" and a
"g" before they had me again. I wouldn't give up! I couldn't! Slowly, I
forced my hand down and... almost... I got to the "o" again and before
they could stop me, I had the "u"...
Then they was all over me. They pinned me to the floor, and then, my
friends, one of them reached in his jacket. He pulled out... a harmonica.
I knew he was goin' to play "Elvis is Everywhere" if I didn't get out of
there fast... I struggled, but it was no use. He brought the harmonica to
his lips...
And then, from across the room I heard a sort of whistlin' sound...
Someone threw a can of Jolt Cola through the air towards us... I saw it
like in slow motion on TV, saw it turnin' end over end... It whistled
through the air like a thunderbolt from the sky. It flew past me and
landed square on the "t".
It hit the "t" and bounced a foot in the air, my friends. Time
seemed to slow down. We was all watchin' the can rise up, and then come
down, floatin' down so slow I could read all the ingredients on the side
of the can. "All the sugar," it said, "and twice the caffeine."
The can floated down, light as a snowflake.
It came down smack on "carriage return".
I breathed in a big gaspin' breath of relief, my friends. I knew I
was saved, I knew everything was okay 'cause I was safe and logged out of
Athena now, there was nothin' it could do to me now that I was logged out
and out of its grip.
I raised my head and looked up at the screen. "There are stopped
jobs," it said.
The Elvises grinned at me. The harmonica came back up again...
I don't remember much after that.
The nightmare never ends.
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celine (Adam Weishaupt):
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cheshire (Mary Vogt):
Through early morning fog I see
Visions of the things to be
The pains that are withheld for me
I realize and I can see
That suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please.
The game of live is hard to play
I'm gonna lose it anyway
The losing card I'll someday lay
So this is all I have to say
That suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please.
The only way to win is cheat
And lay it down before I'm beat
And to another give my seat
For that's the only painless feat
And suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please.
And you can do the same thing if you please.
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mar (Mark A. Rosenstein):
Skiing on Christmas day: I may finally get to see a white Christmas.
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paul (Paul Boutin):
TWEEZE DENIED BEEF WORKER ISTHMUS
Tweeze denied beef worker isthmus, winnow Trudy how's,
Snot agreed juries during, gnaw Tiffany moss.
This talking swear unbided Gemini wit cairn
Hint opus scenic (alas!) sinewy dare.
Unjelled runner nozzle tools smuggling deer butts
Well fissions unshoe kerplunks thence endear huts.
Anemometer cur chiffon dyeing mayhap,
Adjust subtle warp reins fairy loin winger snap.
Winnow taunted launderer roast sachet glitter
Ice brine bromide bet deucey woodwinds schemata.
Await Tudor widower blue lacking flesh,
Door roping tier shatters untrue hump these ash.
Demonian depressed often knew felines know
Gaffe cholesterol metier due abjects elope.
Wane wood tummy wandering ice shittah pear,
Vital men etchers lay mandate tidy Rainier.
Whittle it whole dolt river salival equipt,
Sinewy mom aunt isthmus bee-stain nicked.
Mere rabbit-torn evils whose gorses became
Any weaseled end shuttered, uncool tomboy maim.
"Node azure! No Dunce era! No France urine fixing!
Uncommit! And cubit! Andante ran vexing!
Toady tipoff deport chew detypify well!
Gnaw dish aweigh, dish aweigh, dish aweigh awl!"
Asked relieves dot beef forty whiled hurry queen fry,
Wind emit wooden apse stickle, mountie-desk eye,
Sew-up two-deep how stop duck horsers dubloon,
Witty slave fallow toils, ascend nickel loss due.
Ant tending at weakling - why hurt honor roof?
A brain sinning Boeing effete shiney huff.
Aside ruin mayhap untwist darning neuron
Bounding gym knee-scent knick (alas!) game winning pound.
Iwis tressed woolen furze promise etuis food,
Anus closed whorled varnished wood asses in suits.
Abound olived oils (egad!) flunk honor speck,
Any luck lockup addler chest (hope?) nimbus peck.
Assai Saudi twin calloused temples amore!
Exchequer lachryosis, whizz snows locket jury.
Estrual litter mouse wash thrown applique beau,
Amdahl biered honest Genesis weight hostess know.
Distempered ape pie pea yelled tiding is steed,
Undies mocha answer cul de sac lackey reed.
Egad! Abroad fastener litter hound bully
Achoo! quaintly left, lacking bull feeling jolly.
Iwis champion blimp -- arrayed chilly wool delve,
Any left whinney sow hymn, enspied off Moselle.
An oink office sigh unto whist office hood
Swoon gamey tonneau ahead knitting two tread.
Ease poke naught award, Beduoin strayed duets orc,
Infield eldest tuggings; interned witty chert,
End lioness fanger a sight office gnus,
Ant gibbon unknot, upon chimpanzee rows.
Hasp Rangoon is lay, due esteem guava wistful,
Ending weight day elf loo, lacking town ova tassle;
Buddy herding explain air hedge rowboat design,
"Hopping rich musty woolen due awl incondite!"
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'twas the night after finals, and all round the globe
Everybody was gone home (except of course probe)....
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rosencra (John R Buck):
When I try to sleep at night
I can only dream in red.
The outside world is black and white,
but only one color's dead.
- Peter Gabriel, "Biko"
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shers (Alexander S. Sherstinsky):
{From system: This user's .plan file is not world readable}
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swmpthng (Timothy J Stellmach):
{From system: This user's .plan file is not world readable}
Did you ever want to put THAT in your .plan file just
to see if anyone was paying attention?????
Me neither.
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tclarkin (Ted C. Larkin):
{From system: This user's .plan file is not world readable}
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wisner (Bill Wisner):
"I guess test-flying F-20 Tigersharks at Mach 3 all
day has rattled my good manners..."
--- End of Central America ---
