[3800] in WWW Security List Archive
Re: Please take my name out of this list
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (David Murray)
Fri Dec 13 18:12:38 1996
From: "David Murray" <dmurray@pdssoftware.com>
To: helio@rgm.com.br
Date: Fri, 13 Dec 1996 15:06:33 -0500
Reply-To: dmurray@pdssoftware.com
CC: www-security@ns2.rutgers.edu
Errors-To: owner-www-security@ns2.rutgers.edu
On Fri, 13 Dec 1996, Helio Panissa Junior jibed
> Please take my name out of this list, or explain how to...
I'm glad you asked. Although this isn't the *only* way to sign off
the list, it is the most fool-proof. Please read these instructions
completely before beginning.
tools needed: one Hammer, one screwdriver, one pair of pliers, one
heavy-duty pair of wire cutters, one bucket of saline water, a box of
sani-wipes.
Step #1: Stop payment on any checks that you may have sent to your
Internet Service Provider (GOD).
Step #2: If GOD is unresponsive and you are still receiving mail from
this list, you will need to find the "mailhost". This is a machine
usually located in a locked office. Every day around noon, the
mailman will deliver a box of diskettes with that day's mail messages,
including yours from this list, to this machine. Typically, only a
handful of people have keys to the "mailhost". The reason why this
machine is locked up is because this is typically the best, fastest,
most powerful computer at your facility and the people with keys don't
want to share it. If you must, break or pry the door down with one
(1) hammer (you did get all the tools needed?).
Step #3: find the ON/OFF switch for this machine. Using the pliers,
set the switch to the OFF position by tugging downwards until the
disposable plastic switch breaks away from the computer casing.
Discard the disposable plastic switch in an environmentally-friendly
manner. This will alert the mailman to no longer deliver the
diskettes with the messages to the "mailhost" not unlike the little
red flag found on mailboxes. This should resolve your mail problem
immediately.
Step #4: You may experience a recurrence of mail within 72 hours. If
this should happen, you will need to disable the "mailhost" once again
with more forceful measures. Repeat Step #2. Don't be suprised if
there is a sturdier door in place than the one you destroyed
previously. This is due to the fact that the "Have Key" clique found
out that someone has seen their private stash of computer equipment.
Step #5: After you have once again regained entry into the "mailhost"
room, open up the back of the "mailhost". There may be a large
tv-like device on top of the "mailhost" You will need to remove this
first. Take your wire cutters, and cut any cables binding the tv-like
device to the "mailhost". Set the tv-like device to the side. With
your screwdriver, remove each and every screw that you can find on the
"mailhost". Shake vigorously. Once this is done, the "mailhost"
should break away into two or more pieces. Do not be alarmed, this is
normal.
Step #5: Find a large box with a fan attached to it. It will be
clearly marked with the following labels: "Danger" "High Voltage" "Do
not open - no user-servicable parts". Don't worry, these labels are
merely in place to satisfy OSHA requirements and you are not in any
danger at all. Take the bucket of saline water and pour it into any
vents or ports that the large box may have. Any extra water should be
poured directly into the computer chassis, be sure to properly soak
each and every component.
Step #6: In the event of fire (OSHA has been known to be right on
occassion), douse any flames with the sani-wipes.
This solution is provided without warranty. It is not bio-degradable
or fat-free. In the event of sudden death, contact a physician
immediately.
(Sorry, but I couldn't resist since I see so many of these. Credit
goes to original (?) poster, back in April, Steven Johnson
<johnson@stpt.usf.edu>.)
