[92829] in tlhIngan-Hol
Re: [Tlhingan-hol] The Lord's Prayer
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Rohan Fenwick - QeS 'utlh)
Thu Apr 12 07:31:39 2012
From: Rohan Fenwick - QeS 'utlh <qeslagh@hotmail.com>
To: <tlhingan-hol@kli.org>
Date: Thu, 12 Apr 2012 21:31:24 +1000
In-Reply-To: <CA+cwSm9=FCr2mhF3LphQLFt+E6Pj7fUTmpU+acn+x70k87EPug@mail.gmail.com>
Errors-To: tlhingan-hol-bounces@stodi.digitalkingdom.org
ghItlhpu' 'anan naHQun, jatlh:
> This is as far as I got on my own before I started comparing other
> translations:
Philip vIrur: SoQ mughlu'pu'bogh vIlaDDI' vImerlu'. vIpar.
mughpu', jatlh:
> 9 Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.
> Suto'vo'qorDaq SoHtaH vavmaj; ponglIj quvmoH.
Though {-lIj} is correct, {vavmaj} is certainly not, unless your goal
was to capture the oddity of the "which" - which I would argue is not
right, since {vavmaj} in Klingon carries that different and insulting
connotation. Others have also pointed out the fact that "hallowed be
thy name" is an optative and so needs {-jaj}.
> 10 Thy kingdom come.
> wo'Daj cher
Again, optative, and it should be {wo'lIj}, not {-Daj}. You switched
from second to third person in this and the next line.
> Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.
> tera'Daq chutDaj luloblu'; 'e' rur Suto'vo'qorDaq.
I don't like this at all, at all. I'm not sure I even get what {'e'
rur} means, and as for the rest...
I guess you're aiming to keep the stilted nature of the English, but
doing so isn't appropriate, to my mind; I think you should translate
the KJV into Klingon directly, not translate it as though it were
just awkward modern English.
> 11 Give us this day our daily bread.
> DaHvam tIr ngoghDaj junob.
ra' jatlhwI'; Delbe' jatlhwI'. {gho-} yIlo'. (And if you're happy to
Klingonise "heaven" to Suto'vo'qor, why tIr ngogh and not something
more general, like Soj? I've always felt that tIr ngogh is clunky and
only a description of something a Klingon's seen on Earth, that it
implies Klingons don't have bread themselves, apart from chabmey.)
QeS 'utlh
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