[89687] in tlhIngan-Hol
nuq bop bom: 'ay' cha'maH wej
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Robyn Stewart)
Wed Sep 14 10:22:10 2011
Date: Wed, 14 Sep 2011 07:10:13 -0700
To: tlhIngan-Hol@kli.org
From: Robyn Stewart <robyn@flyingstart.ca>
Errors-to: tlhingan-hol-bounce@kli.org
Reply-to: tlhingan-hol@kli.org
After much agonizing over my poor knowledge of
Star Treknology and ship layout I realized,
thanks to HurDagh chu'wI' mentioning Star Trek
IV, that the Star Trek writers just make this up
as they go along (I mean honestly, collecting
photons from a nuclear reactor in a glorified
matchbox?) so why shouldn't I? I plunged back in.
This 'ay''a' is complete on my hard drive and
comprises twenty-four chapters of between two and
three hundred words each. Am I right that it's a
good length for a day's installment?
As I write this I am about nine chapters into
'ay''a' loS, and I think I can keep it under
twenty 'ay'mey. It's mostly plotted, but there's
room in it for more detail, so now is a good time
to give me requests or challenges (it's a Mahoun
'ay''a', but will have 'eSSIm, and possibly other Klingons in flashbacks).
I'm still interested in technology or cultural
errors as well as any notes on the writing, but
remember to send it to me by private e-mail if
it's not in Klingon or about the language.
For this 'ay''a' we're back to the crippled
tlharghDuj. Here's a cast review for this ship,
name, military rank (didn't have those worked out
before) and job function on board. I always think
it's fair to alert you to any non-canon entries
that will be in the story. I've used the rank structure from KGT.
vajar HoD – HoD
'ungya Sogh – yaS wa'DIch
ghIrel Sogh – jonwI' (taghpa' 'ay''a'vam Heghpu')
Hota'ro' lagh – DeghwI'
ghutar ne' – Hung yaS
I won't be making up any technical terms, so if
it's not a canon word you know it's a proper noun
or a typo. Please tell me about the latter.
The ship is named *Dugh*. A diagram of the ship
is posted at
<http://nuqbopbom.blogspot.com/p/tlhingan-tlharghduj-dugh-pujin.html>http://nuqbopbom.blogspot.com/p/tlhingan-tlharghduj-dugh-pujin.html
There are a couple of spoilers for the story
therein, but they're quite minor. You may instead
want to try to draw a diagram yourself based on
the description in the story, and then check mine
to see how well I described it, and what I left
out. There are some systems on the Duj pu'jIn
that have disproportionate detail, because I
changed the plot somewhat in rewrites and those systems are now less important.
So here's your story. I think everything you need
to remember from 'ay''a' wa' is recapped here.
Ask if anything isn't clear. I'll hardly be
offended that you're not keeping close track of the plot. :-)
-------
'ay''a' wej
23
HoD pa'Daq QottaH vajar. vumtaHvIS latlhpu', leS
neHbe' 'ach DughtaHmeH beq, leSnIS Hoch. DaH meH
SeHtaHmo' yaS wa'DIch, QongnIS HoD. 'a
QonglaHbe'. Seng pIH. QamchoH 'ej meH 'el.[4]
meHDaq ba'taH beq naQ: yaS wa'DIch, Hung yaS,
DeghwI' je. chaq Duj Qotlhlu'pu'mo' Dal Qu' 'e'
beptaH latlh mut beq, 'ach tlhInganvaD 'utbe'.
jatlhnISbe'chugh tamtaH. HaStaDaq vIHbe'law'
Hovmey. yev HoD 'ej qaStaHvIS lup tlhaq bej.
DeghwI'vaD jatlh “Hota'ro', qatlh bISaHtaH? vagh rep ret DuSonbe''a' 'ungya?”
jangmeH DeghwI' jatlh “muSonta', HoD. ghaHvaD
Degh vIQayta'. jIratlh neH. Qu'HommeywIj vIta'ta'.”
“jI'eq jIH” jatlh Hung yaS. “lojmItmey vInuDta'
'ej Sojpa' vISay'moHta'.” QaptaHmeH Duj Qu'Hommey
Sar ta'nIS Hoch beq. DaH ta'chu'meH 'ovlaw' chaH.
Hemba' HoD. nItebHa' ghom pup lumojlI'. Do'Ha'
Duj pup luHutlhtaH 'ach rut yIHmey ghom Hoch.
yaS wa'DIch SeHlawDaq Duj Dotlh bej HoD. Duj
pu'jInDaq DoqchoH QapHa'taHbogh pat, QIH je.
DoqtaH pu'jIn HochHom. jorpu'DI' nuH HoS 'och,
chev'egh nIH HanDogh. mejDI' HanDogh Hegh jonwI'
'ej mej je nuH laH, bID noch laH, pIvlob laH je.
pIvlob chavlaHbe' HanDogh Hutlhbogh Duj net Sov.
HoS lIngtaHmo' pIvghor, QaptaH yIntagh,
De'wI'mey. Surchemmey, wovmoHwI'mey je. Qapbe'
nuH. loQ Qap noch. QaptaH Hongghor woj choHwI'
'ach lujpu'mo' peQchem lIngwI' ngaDmoHwI'[5] Hong
Do lulo'laHbe'. chungmeH chuyDaH neH lulo' 'ej Qapchu'be' bIH. QIt tlhetlh.[2]
tlhe' HoD 'ej meH 'o' ghoS. HIchDal lojmIt rur
meH 'o' lojmIt. muD pollaH. poSmoHmeH leQ 'uy
HoD. SIbI' poSchoH 'ej veghpu'DI' HoD SoQ'eghqa'.
chob'a'Daq rurbogh loS HIchDal lojmItmey
lutu'lu'. DujvaD vagh mIchmey cher. meH 'oH mIch
wa'DIch'e'. chob'a' luDechbogh Qebmey rur mIch
cha', wej, loS je. Duj 'o'Daq QuQ pa' 'oH mIch
vagh'e'. chob'a' DopmeyDaq latlh lojmItmey lutu'lu' 'ach perbe' mI'mey.[3]
----
SKI: vajar's ship is non-functional, his crew
functions well, and vajar can't sleep.
----
[2] Yay! Recap, as it's only fair for me to
establish for you how this ship works, or fails
to, before I set to destroying it again.
[3] I wish vajar had more crewmembers so I could
gratuitously kill one right now and relieve you
from the sonambulance of this chapter. I promise
there will be beer in the next chapter. Free beer, even.
[4] Possibly wearing nothing but Klingon boxer
shorts. Or do Klingons sleep in those dreadful
leather and metal outfits? nIvnav DellaH 'Iv?
[5] No idea what this is, but I made it up in the
first story, might as well let it fly. It's
broken anyway, so who cares. vItI'nISchugh, mutoDjaj qeylIS.
