[89613] in tlhIngan-Hol
Re: 'oghwI' lut
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Robyn Stewart)
Mon Sep 12 12:13:04 2011
Date: Mon, 12 Sep 2011 09:07:09 -0700
To: tlhingan-hol@kli.org
From: Robyn Stewart <robyn@flyingstart.ca>
In-Reply-To: <SNT106-W34B8C7EEB443ADEB579877A1020@phx.gbl>
Errors-to: tlhingan-hol-bounce@kli.org
Reply-to: tlhingan-hol@kli.org
A recent comment by QeS suggested to me tat we don't have a BG right
now. If I'm wrong, please let me know and accept my apologies for
jumping in. I feel an obligation to help out here in appreciation of
the work others have put into helping with my story.
At 07:35 12/09/2011, you wrote:
>This is the first part of my first story in tlhIngan Hol. I have
>been studying SuvwI' Hol for all of two months, so I ask for your
>patience. Please give me feedback and let me know anything that
>needs correcting. I don't really intend to make this story too
>long, and I am already too interested in Qov's ongoing saga to flood
>this list with another (much more inferior) story.
lutwIj DalaDtaHmo' ('ej DanaDta'mo') choquvmoH. vIqontaHvIS laDbogh
chu'wI' vIqel 'ach SaH chu'wI'vetlh 'e' vSovbe'.
>orayangan - Orion.
No problem with you using it, but it would be 'orayangan -- Klingon
words never start with vowels.
>'ay' wa'
>
>toQDuj 'oghwI' ra' Qel HoD.
Ah <'oghwI'> is the name of the ship. He's not ordering around its inventor.
> 'orghengan rojHom mIch ngIv 'oghwI'. <<HoD>>, ja' HuS ya,
> <<SuyDujHey vIHotlh! <<SuyDuj? nuq luHIj SuyDujvam?>> jang Qel.
Although there are multiple people on the SuyDuj, and although you
might say "What are they carrying?" in English, the grammar here
forces me to read it as "What are these merchant ships carrying?"
><<nuq 'oH ghochHeychaj'e'?>> jatlh Qel.
I like that. Excellent use of -Hey.
><<mIchvamDaq yuQ DoQbe'bogh lughoStaH>> jang HuS.
lu- works here without they explicit subject, because I can make the
subject the multiple people inside the ship.
><<HuS, pa'wIjDaq jIjaH! HItlhej!>> ra' Qel.
In a complex set of rules that I myself get wrong, pa'Daq jIjaH means
I am already inside the room and the motion takes place inside it.
pa'wIj vIjaH is the meaning you want.
>*orayangan* weHwI'pu' marur'eghmoH.
You might make this extra clear with the word jech.
>'orghengan rojHom mIch nganpu' luQanQo' yuQjIjDIvI'.
You're saying "The UFP won't protect the inhabitants of the Orion
treaty sector" but do you mean "The UFP refuses to protect them"
(what you've said) or "The UFP isn't going to protect them" (which
takes -be' not -Qo'). I suspect you've accidentally used -Qo to
translate English future "won't" instead of English refusal won't.
>yuQjIjDIvI' lumovQo'
mov is the top of the foot. You want muv, join. And again, why would
the locals refuse to join the UFP? Do you again mean the future won't?
><<'ach weHvam
weH is only a verb, not a noun.
>not lunaDbejbe' tlhIngan ra'ghomquv,
We don't have examples of a double negative used this way in Klingon.
I think you need to decide whether it's <not lunaD> or <lunaDbe'>.
You have a persistent habit of treating a single group that you know
to be composed of multiple individuals as grammatically plural. I
don't think this is correct.
>vaj nabwIj yIjatlhQo'!>>
Just wanted to highlight an obviously correct use of -Qo'. If I
misunderstood the political situation in the earlier usages, just tell me.
><<maj, HuS. martaq 'uQDajDaq DalannIS.>>
I don't understand this sentence. "You have to place it at martaq's
dinner." Place what? If you're going for "It must take place during
martaq's dinner" try the verb qaS. If Qel is giving HuS something to
put in martaq's dinner, the exchange of the object needs to be clearer.
You've done a terrific job here, and there are many who have been
working with the language a lot longer than three months who would be
proud to command it this well.
Daj QuS botbogh QuSvam. vIlaDlI' 'e' vIHech.
