[85514] in tlhIngan-Hol
Re: reH ru'Ha' pagh. chut 'oH
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Terrence Donnelly)
Thu May 21 23:02:57 2009
Date: Thu, 21 May 2009 19:59:19 -0700 (PDT)
From: Terrence Donnelly <terrence.donnelly@sbcglobal.net>
To: tlhingan-hol@kli.org
In-Reply-To: <c2ff8bd10905211912w65c277a6m6e3a58a96feecf31@mail.gmail.com>
Errors-to: tlhingan-hol-bounce@kli.org
Reply-to: tlhingan-hol@kli.org
Pretty good, at first glance.
--- On Thu, 5/21/09, Brent Kesler <brent.of.all.people@gmail.com> wrote:
> Hello, all,
>
> I'd like to share a (loose) translation I've been
> working on. It's a
> passage from the Lotus Sutra. It figures prominantly in
> "Samurai
> Executioner", a manga I like.
>
> tlhIngan Hol:
> reH ru'Ha' pagh. chut 'oH
> HeghnIS yIn, yInnIS Hegh
> rInDI' yIn, rInDI' Hegh
> vaj paghmo' belqu' Hoch
>
> Original:
> All things are impermanent.
> This is the law of life and extinction.
> When both life and extinction perish,
> Nirvana will be bliss.
>
> I tried to be a little creative based on my understanding
> the passage.
> I might need to explain some of my decisions, but I'd
> like to see
> what people think first.
>
I don't understand {-DI'} working the way you've done here. I always took it to mean "as soon as", while I think you want it to say "after", for which I'd use {-ta'DI'}. Also, {vaj} implies a consequence, but here I think you just want the sequence of time, or {ghIq}.
--ter'eS
