[785] in tlhIngan-Hol

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_New Yorker_Daq ghItlhHom

daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU)
Fri May 7 20:16:52 1993

Errors-To: tlhIngan-Hol-request@village.boston.ma.us
Errors-To: tlhIngan-Hol-request@village.boston.ma.us
Errors-To: tlhIngan-Hol-request@village.boston.ma.us
Errors-To: tlhIngan-Hol-request@village.boston.ma.us
Errors-To: tlhIngan-Hol-request@village.boston.ma.us
Errors-To: tlhIngan-Hol-request@village.boston.ma.us
Errors-To: tlhIngan-Hol-request@village.boston.ma.us
Reply-To: "Klingon Language List" <tlhIngan-Hol@village.boston.ma.us>
From: mark <mark@dragonsys.COM>
To: "Klingon Language List" <tlhIngan-Hol@village.boston.ma.us>
Date: Fri, 07 May 93 16:07:06 EST


_The New Yorker_ (current or recent) has under the rubric "Shouts 
and Murmurs" a one-page ghItlh by Christopher Buckley, "Stardate 
12:00 12:00 12:00".  It's headed up with a quotation from 
Captain... um, from Shatner in TV Guide, about how he likes to 
watch sf movies on tape but still hasn't figured out how to 
program his VCR. 

Scene then shifts to the bridge of the Enterprise, where Capt. 
Kirk is unable to record the Captain's Log because it keeps 
flashing "12:00 12:00 12:00" at him.  There are six Klingon 
warships approaching, but the Captain can't be diverted from his 
attempts to get the thing working right, and drafts Chekov* into 
the effort as well.  Eventually Mr. Spock suggests a possible 
source of the trouble, in a Taiwan computer virus insinuated into 
Starfleet Log master production; but the Klingons are arming their 
photon torpedoes.  Kirk asks Spock if he can fix the problem, and 
the answer is "Not within the one minute and twenty seconds until 
the Klingons reach weapons range."  [I can't vouch for the 
wording here or below, because I don't have the text in front of 
me.]  This is Bones's cue for an impassioned speech to "Remember 
your responsibilities, Jim!  There are hundreds of people on 
board, families, hamsters on treadmills!" 

Kirk: I haven't forgotten my responsibilities, Bones.  Mr. Spock, 
can we transmit the "12:00 12:00 12:00" to the Klingon control 
panel?

Spock: In theory, yes, Captain.

Kirk: Do it.

Uhura: Captain, I'm picking up a Klingon transmission.

Kirk: Put it on the main screen, Lieutenant.

Klingons: QI'yaH, majegh!

Kirk: Translation, Mr. Spock?

Spock: It seems to have worked, Captain.  They are surrendering.

Kirk: Mr. Chekov, take us home.  Try pushing the REC-OFF button 
twice.
                               ----
The whole thing is funny enough, and the little bit of tlhIngan 
Hol is appropriate and correct.  ghItlhwI' yIvan!

* Is anyone else irked by the fact that the writers got the name 
wrong from the very start?  The Russian name is CHEKHOV, with a kh 
(a different sound, a different letter), not *Chekov, and it 
grates on my teeth every time I see it.

- marqem

                         Mark A. Mandel 
    Dragon Systems, Inc. : speech recognition : +1 617 965-5200 
  320 Nevada St. :  Newton, Mass. 02160, USA : mark@dragonsys.com
                     ngeDbe' Qapla'; yIvumqu'!


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