[2700] in tlhIngan-Hol
Re: SIy'ven
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU)
Fri Jan 21 12:23:04 1994
Reply-To: "Klingon Language List" <tlhIngan-Hol@klingon.East.Sun.COM>
From: FHOREIN@ALBION.Bitnet
To: "Klingon Language List" <tlhIngan-Hol@klingon.East.Sun.COM>
Date: Fri, 21 Jan 1994 12:11:28 -0500 (EST)
X-Envelope-To: tlhIngan-Hol@klingon.East.Sun.COM
X-Vms-To: KLINGON
In responce to the de-translation of "SIy'ven", I must
admit to forgetting to proofread my copy before posting it.
Sorry. Anyway, here's my comments.
>I take it there's some Clipped Klingon here? I'll backtranslate, so as
Yes, I admit that (there's meter involved, not that it's crucial to this
song, but...)
>He don't want me to see you coming,
>He doesn't want while I am being the place that gets birthday'd [This has
>completely lost me]
>So I hide everything from my eyes [Good phrase!]
>and immediately he doesn't go from me [You may want another verb there]
>You have lived only one minute for your life
>Shut up while I dream ('e' vItlhob)
Not quite, but I understand the confusion. The birthday may have been
a typo. The original was
I don't want to see you go
I don't even want to be there
So I will cover up my eye's
And it will go away
You've only lived a minute of your life
I must be dreaming, please stop screaming
I admit, there were abiguities. The use of clipped Klingon, for one.
Second, ghoS is both "to aproach" and "to go away from". I will look
over the my copy of the song and correct typos, of course. Also the
lack of a verb prefex means either it or he/she/they. The confusion
is the result of use of clipped Klingon in the first line. I don't see
how you found a negation in the fourth line. I will look at my copy, of
course.
>=bISoQ 'e' vIQoy 'e' par
>=jIHvaD 'oy' nobbogh 'e' DaSovbe'
I meant bISaQ, not bISoQ. Sorry.
>He hates me hearing you close[d] [?]
>He doesn't know that the pain he has given to me [drop the 'e']
I don't like to hear you cry
You just don't know how deap that hurts me
My use of clipped Klingon is the the major sourse of problems I think.
The typos don't help either. Also Klingon is structured differently
from English, so different ways of saying the same thing must be used.
>=SIy'ven
>=SIy'ven pongwIj vIQoy
>=SIy'ven muvanqu'taH'a' vay' pongwIj vIQoy
>=SIy'ven ghoghHommey jatlhbogh vIlegh
>= jachmey legh
Opps. "muvanqu'taH'a'" should be "munejqu'taH'a'".
>I hear your name
>someone keeps saluting me
>I see the groups of voices spoken (jatlhlu'bogh is better)
>He sees the screams [should be jachtaHghach]
I hear "your" name? -wIj is "my".
Is someone calling me, I hear my name"
The next two lines were the really tough ones to translate.
How does one say "I see breathed wishers, screams of pain?" in
Klingon? (assuming that is what Alice Cooper said, am not sure)
The next verse was correctly (almost) detranslated.
The line was "I'll put pennies on your eyes", which
is why I chose credits. "And, and, and,
and it will go away". (I dislike the absense of a prefex
to mean either it or he).
The "Steven"'s are all screamed by a group, except those in
()'s, which are "wispered" by an instiment. Or so it seems.
All in all pretty good, seeing's how I failed to proofread
my translation before posting it. Sorry. Will remember to do that
in the future.
Fred Horein
aka veDHor'ayn
(note: my handle tells you that my last
name is NOT pronounces "Horain" or "Horeen"
or "Heroin" or any other mispronounciations
I've heard. It's "Horine", long i sound. This
is probably not importaint for now, but I'm
tired of hearing people mispronouncing it,
espesially deliberatly.)
