[1956] in tlhIngan-Hol
lullaby
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU)
Sat Nov 6 09:50:59 1993
Reply-To: "Klingon Language List" <tlhIngan-Hol@klingon.East.Sun.COM>
From: DSTRADER@delphi.com
To: "Klingon Language List" <tlhIngan-Hol@klingon.East.Sun.COM>
Date: Sat, 06 Nov 1993 07:43:07 -0400 (EDT)
X-Vms-To: IN%"tlhIngan-Hol@klingon.east.sun.com"
>Here is a Klingon lullaby.
>Please give me your critique/corrections.
. . . .
>yIQong puqoy
>DaH yIjaH 'oy'
>leSghach qem ram
>'ej DaH bItam
>bIQongtaHvIS yay bInajlaH
>pa' puqoylI' pIQapqu' maH
>yIQong puqoy
>yIQong puqoy
>wa'leS Dajey jaghlI' Hoch
>wa'leS Daghaj 'u'vam Hoch
Unfortunately, as charghwI' said also, I'm not allowed to correct any
grammar. But I will tell you a few words I would have written differently
for a better (imesho) overall semantic value. (Am I allowed to do THAT,
O Great Guru of Grammar?)
It's very Klingonesque, despite the frequency of {-oy}. I like the
unEnglish tone it takes on. Some writers like to translate directly
out of their English thoughts and this displaces the alien effect I
believe it should have.
Now, on to semantics-- those last two lines, specifically.
Assuming {jaghlI' Hoch} means "all your enemies," (TKD only lists it
as a noun, but I've seen this adjectivial function popping up more and
more), then that function could work the same for {'u'vam Hoch}.
Well, I dunno. {Hoch} as an adjective would be more like "every."
For some obscure reason, I doubt you wanted to mean "all these universes."
Try {'u'vam naQ} or maybe just {'u' naQ} since it is THE universe,
and not compared to this or that universe, unless you want to get
into metaphysics.
Still, I realize this would screw up the rhyme.
qeSwIj Da'IjnISbe' DaneHbe'chugh
Guido#1---*
