[982] in Daily_Rumour
The New Orleans Register (pub'd w/permission of GMs)
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (bcb@MIT.EDU)
Sat Oct 7 21:07:20 1995
From: bcb@MIT.EDU
Date: Sat, 7 Oct 1995 21:06:41 -0400
To: rumor@MIT.EDU
THE NEW ORLEANS REGISTER Saturday, February 18 1928
Note: Due to editorial difficulties, this edition of the Register is being
published in a special format. It is anticipated that the Register will
return to its normal format in a day or two.
================================================================
INTERVIEWS WITH SENATORIAL CANDIDATES
This reporter had the honor of speaking with a number of political
candidates last evening. Here's what they had to say:
Mr. Theodore Sudbury still seemed a bit in shock over his brother's
recent death, and was still in the process of putting together his
platform. He intends to continue his brother's "fight with the forces
of oppression," and to refuse to "cave in to threats." In particular,
while he claims to sympathize with the labor unions, he opposes the
current strike. He favors continuing Prohibition, and American entry
into the League of Nations.
Mr. James J. R. Beaumont III, a local businessman and a true and
faithful Baptist, intends to push for true Southern values. He
strongly supports the US sending ships into the Gulf of Mexico,
advocating a "less-than-friendly stance" toward our Southern neighbor
if they do not stop the pirates. He did not go so far as to claim
that Mexico was in fact responsible for the attacks, or to advocate a
declaration of war, but, he says, "It's a nation's responsibility to
take care of ships flying that nation's flag." Eye-witness reports
have claimed that at least some of the pirates flew the flag of Mexico.
Rumors that he is too young to serve as Senator are completely
baseless -- a check with official and church records will show that
his age is quite sufficient to allow him to serve as Senator. It seems
this rumor may have been started by one Mr. G. M. Mistake, who has
wisely decided to depart the city.
Mr. Reginald Dulac was unavailable for comment.
Mr. Lark Xarm, running as a Socialist, favors the labor unions.
"They're only asking for what's good and right," he claims. He also
promotes eliminating the gold standard, simply printing more money as
it's needed. He is "still deciding" on Prohibition.
G-MEN ARRIVE IN NEW ORLEANS
Two federal G-Men have been seen around town today. "We're here to
crack down on organized crime," says Agent Hal Caporac, "and by God
we'll do it! Let the criminals beware." As of yet, they have made no
particular impact in town. "I don't know what we're up to," said
Agent Caporac. Agent Martinelli, the senior officer, was unavailable
for comment.
DOCKWORKERS ON STRIKE
The New Orleans teamsters remain on strike. John Mass, union leader
for the docks, informs this reporter that the workers' demands
include a shorter work week, better pay, and, in light of the dangers
inherent to their occupations, improved conditions and guaranteed
insurance. In particular he assures us that while he is concerned
over the recent deaths of several workers, the strike has nothing to
do with those deaths.
According to the local police, the dead are: Mr. George Boudreaux, Mr.
John Foster, Mr. John Sawyer, Mr. Julio Iglesias, and Mr. Gilbert
Delamo. No further information about their deaths is available.
CIRCUS COMES TO TOWN
Everyone please welcome to town the Rivers and Son Mississippi Valley
Travelling Circus, recently arrived. They'll be performing Monday
night in 66-110, along with several other shows. Word has it they've
got lions, tigers, piranhas, snakes, and a monkey some of us have
already seen at Miss Sudbury's ball. "Probably the best show on the
Mississippi," says Mr. James Rivers, the ringmaster. "We can make
animals do anything."
ANOTHER BUSINESSMAN FOUND DEAD
Early Tuesday afternoon, Wilhelm Wilner, local businessman, was found dead
onthe docks. No further information about this death or Mr. Wilner is
available at this time.
MONKEY DISTURBS MISS SUDBURY'S BALL
But not Miss Sudbury herself, it seems. "I'm a strong believer in the
principles of democracy," she says, and believes that no one should
be excluded simply because they belong to a particular group. Even
after being approached by none other than the circus monkey, she said
he had a right to attend -- after all, the invitation was open. (Too
bad Mr. Juan Cardenza wasn't around. He's looking for work as an
animal trainer or jockey. I saw several people looking for him last
night when the monkey appeared!)
Miss Sudbury does believe the evening "worked out beautifully,"
although so soon after her brother's death, she finds it difficult to
"put her heart into" socializing.
SPORTS SECTION:
ASS'T DA TROUNCES PI
In a spontaneous boxing match (to which both participants did agree),
Mr. Ash Fletcher, assistant district attorney, defeated Mr. Lucas
Abercrombie, private investigator. Mr. Fletcher didn't spare the
furniture, breaking a chair over his opponent's head before sending
Mr. Abercrombie flying into a table. Mr. Abercrombie fought the good
fight, but in the end was knocked out.
Federal Agent Caporac expressed great concern over the damaged
property, put everything was properly taken care of.
