[777] in Daily_Rumour
Reamer
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (agaminof@Athena.MIT.EDU)
Thu Feb 18 01:09:00 1993
From: agaminof@Athena.MIT.EDU
Date: Thu, 18 Feb 93 01:07:27 -0500
To: rumor@Athena.MIT.EDU
The Daily Reamer
February 16, 1993
Volume 42, Number 4
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RUN ON KNIVES AT LAVERDE'S
Silver telephone dialers are out, and ginsu steak knives are in
this year, at least according to LaVerde's market manager Timothy
Leary. In an unprecedened rush not to be left without this newly
fashionable item, hordes mobbed LaVerde's yesterday and Tuesday.
"Unfortunately, supplies only lasted so long, so all you unfashionable
people who didn't get on the ball will have to wait until the military
cordon is lifted," says Mr. Leary. The last steak knife appears to
have been sold some time Tuesday.
CAGLIANI INCARCERATED; BOURNE TOBE BORN AGAIN?
Charles Bourne, a visiting professor from Harvard, and Jim Cagliani,
a Phys. plant worker, were arrested by the military Monday evening.
They were both later deported off campus to a military prison at
Hanscom AFB. General Schwartzkopf released a statement later
on Monday in which he declined to reveal a lot of stuff at this time.
Bourne is rumored to have undergone a religious experience and
is repenting of his evil deeds (whatever they were).
[GM note: Bourne and Cagliani are now irrevocably out of game
until wrapup. The players (Ross Lippert, Andrew Kraft) have now
become ghosts and you can tell them stuff.]
SECRET MIT CORPORTATION MEETING HELD MONDAY; MOB SCENE THREATENS
A large mob of various people arrived at the secret meeting of
the MIT corporation and demanded to be let in. After all sorts
of confusion the meeting was eventually dissolved and everyone
left.
MILITARY MONSTER MYSTERIOUSLY NOT SEEN
The Charles River Monster was not sighted today not clashing horribly
with the General's fatigues while arresting people in the common room.
BOMB REMOVAL CONTINUES; MOUNTAINEERS PERTURBED
The Pentagon reports that only 7,447 bombs remain un-defused as
of 6 pm today, most of these in remote and inaccessible places such as the
top of Mount Everest. A grass-roots movement has sprung up among
sportsmen and mountain-climbers to lobby the world governments to
deal with the bomb on Everest soon. "It won't be there anymore,"
said a member of this group when asked why they were doing this.
CRATER ENLARGED: ART LOVERS SUSPECTED
The crater at the former site of the Triangle statue in Killian court,
which was blown up last Friday, was found to have grown larger overnight
Tuesday morning. Rumor has it that this is the work of art lovers who
liked the Triangle statue so much that they dug up the site of the
explosion in order to search for any remaining piece, however minute,
of the beloved art object.
NERDS DEMONSTRATE FOR NEW MICROWAVE
A group of squinty-eyed, poorly dressed students with acne were
seen in and around the Physics Common Room today chanting "We want
a microwave!" The military were sent in to break up the demonstration.
The scene nearly erupted into violence when one of the student's
Junior Lab project went off by mistake and injured PFC J. Cricket
in the left little finger. However the physics department course
secretary, Ms. Henrietta Higgins (no relation to the guide dog),
saved the situation by fussing over Private Cricket and applying
band-aids and administering chicken soup.
