[768] in Daily_Rumour
The Daily Reamer
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (teg@Athena.MIT.EDU)
Sat Feb 13 12:15:51 1993
From: teg@Athena.MIT.EDU
To: rumor@Athena.MIT.EDU
Date: Sat, 13 Feb 93 12:15:13 EST
The Daily Reamer
February 13, 1993
Volume 42, Number 2
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Military Sex Scandal!
General Schwartzenkopf and reporter Joanna MacKenzie were seen
yesterday engaging in physical relations in a public hallway. The General,
who has always appeared rather straight-laced in the past, showed his true
colors in a passionate display with Ms. MacKenzie near the Lounge of Our Lady
of the All Night Tool.
Another Sculpture Bites the Dust!
The sculpture "Triangle" in Killian Court exploded at 10:46pm
yesterday night. Once resembling a free-standing pyramid, the sculpture has
been reduced to smoldering bits of metal strewn liberally over the courtyard.
No injuries were reported, but applause was clearly audible across the Charles
River in Boston.
Bombs Defused Worldwide
Reports are in that the bombs which landed harmlessly on Thursday are
being feverishly defused by experts in every nation. Of the 17,342 nuclear
missiles lying inactive worldwide, 2,073 have been disarmed and are in the
process of being dismantled.
Charles River Monster Sighting
The Charles River Monster was not sighted not applauding the demise of
"Triangle," apparently in an effort to make up for its lack of fashion sense.
Criteria for the Submission of Articles to the Reamer
All those wishing to submit articles for publication in the Reamer are
required to send a copy to the editor, eit-gms@athena, by noon of that day for
publication that day. Classified advertisements are also available for $5 per
day. Bills must be paid in person at the Reamer office, 37-232.
LSC Slides
Slides may be bought from LSC to be shown at their movies. (Since
we can't actually buy slides for the real movies, the content of the slides
will be shown in the Reamer.)
CLASSIFIED
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LOST!!!
MITSFS, long time campus organization and credit to this Institution,
proprieter of the famous Science Fiction Library, have lost one of
it's most quintessential symbols:
THE SACRED MITSFS GAVEL!!!!
If you see it, you can't miss it! It's a huge railroad wrench, for
crying out loud! And it's so important to us...we are willing to offer
a reward for it's safe return.
Please notify a member of MITSFS if you see our beloved treasure!
--Dana Hyde, President, MITSFS
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