[87674] in Cypherpunks
InfoWar 33 / (Part III of 'The True Story of the InterNet')
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Deja Vu)
Sat Oct 4 18:23:13 1997
Date: Sat, 04 Oct 1997 15:22:45 -0600
From: Deja Vu <dv@dev.null>
To: cypherpunks@toad.com
Reply-To: Deja Vu <dv@dev.null>
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<CENTER><U><FONT COLOR=#0000FF>The True Story of the InterNet
<BR>
Part III<BR>
</FONT></U></CENTER>
<P>
<CENTER><B><FONT SIZE=7 COLOR=#800000>Info</FONT><FONT SIZE=7 COLOR=#FF0000>War</FONT></B></CENTER>
<P>
<CENTER><U><B><FONT SIZE=4>Final Frontier of the Digital Revolution</FONT></B></U></CENTER>
<P>
<CENTER><U><B><FONT SIZE=2 COLOR=#800000>Behind the ElectroMagnetic
Curtain<BR>
</FONT></B></U></CENTER>
<P>
<CENTER><FONT SIZE=2>by <I><B>TruthMonger <tm@dev.null>
<BR>
<BR>
</B></I></FONT></CENTER>
<P>
<FONT SIZE=2>Copyright 1997 Pearl Publishing</FONT>
<HR>
<HR>
<P>
<CENTER><U><B>InfoWar Table of Contents<BR>
</B></U></CENTER>
<UL>
<LI><A HREF="#Chapter_33" >Anarchist Post of the Century</A>
<LI><A HREF="#Chapter_34" >Anarchist Post of the...(Ouch!)</A>
<BR>
</UL>
<HR>
<P>
<CENTER><A NAME="Chapter_33"><B>Anarchist Post of the Century</B></A></CENTER>
<HR>
<P>
<B>Subject:</B> Crypto-continuation in Washington: FBI/DoJ keep
up the pressure<BR>
<B>From:</B> Declan McCullagh <declan@well.com><BR>
<B>To: </B>fight-censorship@vorlon.mit.edu, cypherpunks@toad.com
<P>
Crypto is hot in Washington. Don't think the battle's over; it's
just<BR>
beginning:
<UL>
<LI>This afternoon when the Senate Intelligence committee met
to consider a<BR>
new CIA deputy director, Sen. Bob Kerrey said "there's a
real urgency" to<BR>
get an encryption bill passed. (Presumably, that would be his
bill, the<BR>
"Key Escrow Infrastructure" McCain-Kerrey/S.909.) Anyone
still think that<BR>
the Senate will do the right thing on crypto? Think again...
<LI>* Last week Janet Reno talked at her weekly press conference
about<BR>
balancing law enforcement rights with privacy rights -- through
mandatory<BR>
domestic key escrow.
<LI>* Yesterday Louis Freeh spoke at length before the House International
<BR>
Relations committee about the spread of nuclear weapons... and
reminded<BR>
committee members about the problems the FBI has with nonescrowed
crypto...
<LI>* Sen. Jon "Mandatory Domestic Key Escrow" Kyl said
on Sunday that the<BR>
Clinton administration's export controls on crypto were *not tight
<BR>
enough*...
</UL>
<P>
<P>
More info:<BR>
http://cgi.pathfinder.com/netly/opinion/0,1042,1385,00.html
<BR>
http://www.jya.com/declan8.htm
<P>
-Declan
<P>
****************
<P>
HEARING OF THE SENATE INTELLIGENCE COMMITTEE<BR>
NOMINATION OF LT.-GEN. JOHN A. GORDON<BR>
TO BE DEPUTY DIRECTOR OF THE CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE AGENCY
<BR>
CHAIRMAN: SENATOR RICHARD SHELBY (R-AL)<BR>
106 DIRKSEN SENATE OFFICE BUILDING<BR>
WASHINGTON, DC<BR>
2:00 P.M. EDT<BR>
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 1, 1997
<P>
SEN. KERREY: I hope no doubt that you've heard of and perhaps
had the<BR>
opportunity to read the recommendations made by Senators Helms
and<BR>
Moynihan, but I think they're excellent. It's an excellent examination
of,<BR>
first, the need in some instances to classify, as well as the
need to<BR>
examine that classification system.<BR>
It's not really a question, General Gordon. I think it's
<BR>
imperative that, on the issue of encryption, that the president
exert some<BR>
authority and try to pull together the congressional leaders and
say, "We<BR>
need a secure public network." There's counter-intelligence
concerns.<BR>
There's national security issues here at stake, obviously, balanced
against<BR>
the concerns for civil liberties and the concern for commercial
interests<BR>
and the need to develop.<BR>
But there's lots of action up here on the Hill, both in
the House<BR>
and the Senate, in half a dozen committees or eight or nine committees,
or<BR>
Lord knows how many altogether, more than I realized existed.
And I think<BR>
there's a real urgency to get something passed both for the private
sector,<BR>
so they can have some stability, but also on the public-sector
side, so we<BR>
can protect the nation's interests.<BR>
MR. GORDON: Senator, I have not delved that deeply into
the<BR>
encryption issue. I certainly take your point on this point.
But I do<BR>
know that if the Senate does confirm me that that will be squarely
on my<BR>
plate.
<P>
****************
<P>
ATTORNEY GENERAL JANET RENO'S WEEKLY MEDIA AVAILABILITY
<BR>
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE<BR>
WASHINGTON, DC<BR>
THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 26, 1997
<P>
Q No, wait -<BR>
ATTY GEN. RENO: You've got to be quicker than that.<BR>
Q (Inaudible) - yes, ma'am. Director Freeh and Director
<BR>
Constantine both have complained that U.S.-made encryption devices
are<BR>
giving the drug cartels an advantage whereby interdiction becomes
impaired.<BR>
Would you favor, as Mr. Freeh does, some kind of giving of the
keys to<BR>
these devices to the FBI and DEA?<BR>
ATTY GEN. RENO: I don't think that Director Freeh favors
giving<BR>
keys to the FBI and to the DEA.<BR>
Q No?<BR>
ATTY GEN. RENO: What Director Freeh has talked about
is what we<BR>
have today - if someone is going to tap a phone, they don't just
go in and<BR>
tap the phone, if they're going to do it legally. What law enforcement
<BR>
does is it develops probable cause to believe that the telephone
is being<BR>
used to commit a crime and that to overhear would provide evidence
of a<BR>
crime. That is submitted to a judge, both in federal court and
in many<BR>
states courts where wiretapping is authorized. The judge reviews
the<BR>
sufficiency of the affidavits in support of the petition and enters
an<BR>
order directing the telephone company to provide that opportunity.
<BR>
What Director Freeh is hoping to achieve is the same thing
with<BR>
respect to encrypted products; so that the court would direct
that the key<BR>
be provided to the telecommunications system, or the other system,
in order<BR>
to decrypt the encoded message.<BR>
What we're trying - what the administration is trying
to do is to<BR>
recognize that there are two important interests at stake here.
One is the<BR>
law enforcement interest, which is so vital with respect to terrorists,
<BR>
with respect to being able to decrypt the drug dealer's computer
when I - I<BR>
can get a search warrant now and seize his black book and I can
read his<BR>
black book or decipher what he's talking about. But if he can
encrypt the<BR>
information on his computer, that will be a significant obstacle
to law<BR>
enforcement.<BR>
At the same time, the whole purpose of encryption with
modern<BR>
telecommunication is to provide for the privacy interest, of commercial
<BR>
interest of the average citizen. And so I think it's important
that we<BR>
work together to ensure the law enforcement capacity and ensure
that the<BR>
present capacity to get court-ordered authorities for surveillance
are<BR>
continued and are made real, while at the same time ensuring privacy.
<BR>
Q So you're saying that the phone company would have
the<BR>
responsibility? Do they have the capability of encrypting?<BR>
ATTY GEN. RENO: The phone company doesn't have it. There
would be<BR>
a system whereby a key would be provided through third parties
or<BR>
otherwise. But this is something that we need to work together
on to<BR>
ensure that law enforcement interests are protected and that privacy
<BR>
interests are protected as well.
<P>
****************
<P>
HEARING OF THE HOUSE INTERNATIONAL RELATIONS COMMITTEE
<BR>
SUBJECT: ORGANIZED CRIME<BR>
CHAIRED BY: REPRESENTATIVE BEN GILMAN (R-NY)<BR>
LOUIS FREEH, DIRECTOR, FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
<BR>
2172 RAYBURN HOUSE OFFICE BUILDING<BR>
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 1, 1997<BR>
10:00 A.M EDT
<P>
REP. : Following up on what Mr. Hyde said on your
need to<BR>
fight international crime and terrorism, what do you need, as
an agency<BR>
director and for your agency, in terms of specifics to wage a
fight that<BR>
you can win?<BR>
MR. FREEH: Yes, sir. As I mentioned in my statement,
I think we<BR>
need it on three levels. We need the permanent and minimal FBI
presence<BR>
overseas to develop the kinds of relationships that Dr. de Gennaro
and I<BR>
have had now for 18 years.<BR>
We have asked for, and the Congress approved last year,
in August<BR>
of 1996, a plan to expand the FBI's Ligat (sp) program from approximately
<BR>
23 to 43 Ligats. That would call for, by the end of 1999, 146
special<BR>
agents in 42 different countries with 116 support employees.
That's a<BR>
total of 262 people. As I mentioned, the plan was submitted last
year. It<BR>
wasn't just an FBI plan. It was jointly submitted by the State
Department<BR>
and the attorney general. And we've asked for funding in the
1998 and 1999<BR>
budgets to reach that level.<BR>
We've also asked for a continuation of the training.
As I<BR>
mentioned, we've been able to train thousands of police officers
around the<BR>
world. The benefit of that training is two-fold. First of all,
we can<BR>
give them what they need most of all, which are the basic tools
to conduct<BR>
their own investigations.<BR>
Just as importantly, we develop through those relationships,
as Dr.<BR>
de Gennaro described it, the cop-to-cop contacts and relationships.
So an<BR>
FBI agent or a DEA agent can pick up the phone and speak to a
police<BR>
commander in Uzbekistan or Kazakhstan, if that's the place where
we need to<BR>
do our work. So the training is a very important part of the
whole program.<BR>
And again, and finally, we need the technological tools
to do our<BR>
work. We have to be able to communicate rapidly and securely.
We have to<BR>
deal with encryption. We have to deal with cyber-crime. And
those are all<BR>
part of a larger technological challenge which we're trying to
meet.
<P>
[...]
<P>
REP. LINDSEY GRAHAM (R-SC): Thank you, John.<BR>
Director Freeh, appreciate your testimony. It's been
quite<BR>
riveting, actually. One of the briefing papers we have indicates
that the<BR>
American public, in a recent poll, whatever you want to take polls
worth,<BR>
say that 70 percent of the American people who were surveyed found
it<BR>
likely that the United States could be attacked by terrorist groups
within<BR>
the next decade using smuggled nuclear devices. If you were asked
that,<BR>
what category would you be in?<BR>
MR. FREEH: I think it's a threat and a possibility that
should<BR>
occupy our highest priority. I think we've seen attacks certainly
in<BR>
Oklahoma, in New York City. We know that many of the state sponsors
of<BR>
terror, including Iran, are rapidly and very aggressively acquiring
nuclear<BR>
technology, both in terms of warheads and launching devices. We
know that<BR>
many of the state sponsors of terrorism, particularly Iran, sponsor
and<BR>
fund and control Hezbollah groups, including groups which have
connections<BR>
and operations in the United States.<BR>
So the links, although I don't think I've seen them in
a documented<BR>
form, clearly suggest that if a terrorist is willing to use a
truck bomb to<BR>
blow up a building with thousands of people at risk, the accomplishment
of<BR>
the particular objective would not be changed or influenced by
the<BR>
opportunity to use a much more devastating (nuclear?) or biological
or<BR>
chemical agent.<BR>
So I think we have to take the possibility extremely seriously
and<BR>
we have to take drastic steps to try to prevent and detect that.
<P>
****************
<P>
[This thanks to John Young. --Declan]
<P>
Remarks by Senator Jon Kyl at the First International Conservative
<BR>
Congress--September 28, 1997
<P>
[...]
<P>
The Clinton Administration pursues a foreign policy without
<BR>
clear goals or the will to act decisively and is squandering
<BR>
the national security means left to it by a dozen years of
<BR>
Republican presidency. It emphasizes hope over reality and
<BR>
reliance on arms control agreements like the Comprehensive
<BR>
Test Ban Treaty (CTBT), the Anti-Ballistic Missile (ABM)
<BR>
Treaty, and the Chemical Weapons Convention (CWC) over a
<BR>
stronger defense. And political benefit over national<BR>
security, as in its decisions to cave in to the concerns
of<BR>
some in industry in irresponsibly relaxing export controls
on<BR>
key items like encryption technology and supercomputers.
<P>
****************
<P>
-------------------------<BR>
Declan McCullagh<BR>
Time Inc.<BR>
The Netly News Network<BR>
Washington Correspondent<BR>
http://netlynews.com/<BR>
<HR>
<P>
<CENTER><A NAME="Chapter_34"><B>Anarchist Post of the…(Ouch!)</B></A></CENTER>
<HR>
<P>
<I>"Damn it, Baby!" </I>the Tourette Tic grabbed his
elbow and rubbed it.
<P>
Baby had never bitten him that hard before, and it hurt like hell.
<P>
<I>"OK, I apologize for the sexist joke I emailed to all
of those poor, unsuspecting people."</I>
<P>
The Tourette Tic knew that Baby had bitten him to keep him from
using the same chapter title, once again, but he also knew that
his sexist joke was what had put her in a bad mood to start with.
<BR>
<I>"And I'll use a different chapter heading for the next
chapter, OK?"</I>
<P>
Baby sat down on the bed, and resumed chewing on the moose bone
she had brought home in the middle of the night from some poacher's
stash. She had made her point.<BR>
<P>
<I>"People with Tourette Syndrome often get caught up in
repetitious cycles of thought and action." </I>the Tourette
Tic was speaking to himself, now, since Baby was putting all of
her attention of the moose bone, wrestling it into submission
as it tried to escape her grasp.<BR>
<I>"And sometimes we swear, too, you little cunt."</I>
<P>
Baby put her bone down for a moment gave the Tourette Tic a cold
stare, challenging him to continue with this sexist line of thought.
<P>
<I>"OK, I apologize." </I>the Tourette Tic said, hastily,
but couldn't resist adding, <I>"I forgot that you're on the
rag…Ouch!"</I>
<P>
Baby trotted back to her bone and resumed her attack on it, having
disciplined her alleged master for giving rein to his sexist leanings.
Men…
<P>
<I>"<FemiNazi>…" </I>the Tourette Tic muttered,
glancing at Baby, nervously.
<P>
Baby pretended she hadn't heard that last comment, but she secretly
smiled as she continued pulling at a piece of sinew on the end
of the moose bone. He was lucky he had her around to keep him
on his toes, or there was no telling how far he would backslide
into the bowels of sexist bachelorhood.
<HR>
<P>
<I>"You can hardly blame him, though." </I>Alexis spoke
the words that all of the members of the Magic Circle were thinking
as they read the last few chapters of 'InfoWar' that had been
submitted by the head of the 'Department of Redundancy Department.'
<P>
<I>"True." </I>the Cowboy agreed. <I>"Ever since
Lying Fuck Louis Freeh made the mistake of tipping his hand, the
CypherPunks have risen to the challenge by inundating the list
with a plethora of perceptive and poignant posts."</I>
<P>
<I>"Cowboy!" </I>Priscilla said sternly, <I>"Are
you making fun of the tendency of people with Tourette Syndrome
to get caught up in alliteration, wherein they titillate their
tonsils, tending to repeatedly recite repartee redundantly representing
repetitive phrases?"</I>
<P>
<I>"Yeth." </I>the Cowboy admitted, making fun of the
lisp that Priscilla had been blessed with as a child, only overcoming
the tendency in adulthood.
<P>
<I>"OK, that does it…" </I>Jonathan spoke up, shaking
his head at the inane attitude that the others had been projecting
since their last use of the Trei Transponder.
<P>
<I>"I am going to reveal to the readers of Part III of The
True Story of the InterNet, just how depraved you people are,
by adding 'The Plot of the Platypus' to this chapter, and letting
them know that you all found it hilarious."</I>
<P>
Bubba Rom Dos stood up, looking offended.<BR>
<I>"I resent the implication," </I>he said, <I>"that
I am so insensitive as to laugh at the physical disabilities of
others. I just happened to think of something extremely funny
from my past, at the same time that I was reading 'The Plot of
the Platypus' missive."</I>
<P>
<I>"Me, too." </I>Priscilla added, giggling. <I>"I
was thinking of the first time that Bubba and I had sex."</I>
<P>
The whole group roared with laughter. Jonathan took it as a sign
from the Tao that he should indeed add the suggested missive to
the chapter, in order to ensure that the readers of 'InfoWar'
would understand the truth spoken by Winifred G. Barton, founder
of the Bartonian Metaphysical Society and the Institute of Applied
Metaphysics, when she said, <I>"<B>Always</B> take metaphysics
seriously. <B>Never</B> take yourself seriously."</I>
<P>
<I>"Nuke DC!" </I>Bubba said, and called up the post
onto the GraphiScreen, whereupon Jonathan merged it with the message
to the sexist by A Dog To Be Named Earlier.
<HR>
<P>
<B>Subject:</B> Plot of the Platypus<BR>
<B>From:</B> nobody@REPLAY.COM (Anonymous)<BR>
<B>Organization:</B> Replay and Company UnLimited<BR>
<B>To: </B>cypherpunks@toad.com
<P>
<CENTER><B>********** ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ **********
<BR>
WARNING!!! <I><B>Plot of the Platypus</B></I>
!!!WARNING<BR>
********** ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ **********</B></CENTER>
<P>
Since the death of Dale Thorn, I have lurked silently in the
list<BR>
background while observing the creeping conspiracies continually
<BR>
compromising cypherpunk costs.<BR>
I mean..."posts." {Damn, now I'm doing it, too.}
<P>
Doing what, you ask? <BR>
How did you know what I said? Are you with the MIND POLICE?
<BR>
AM I SURROUNDED??!!!??
<P>
{Oh...I see that I put that thought in brackets, where you could
<BR>
read it. Whew! Had me worried for a minute, there.}
<P>
To continue...<BR>
Being an anonymous coward who hides behind remailers the few
times<BR>
that I post, I have been somewhat hesitant, nonetheless, to reveal
<BR>
the observations and accompanying thoughts about the direction
that<BR>
the cypherpunks lissed has taken {Damn, that's twice, already.
I may<BR>
be infected, like many of the others} since the end of the Nazi
<BR>
moderation/censorship experiment.<BR>
While other, more vocal, list members were celebrating the apparent
<BR>
'victory' over the Johnboot of fascism being lifted from our typing
<BR>
fingers, I had a troubled mind, worrying whether the evil forces
<BR>
were truly vanquished or whether they had merely escaped by way
of<BR>
the anonymous remailers, to the negative pole, where they would
<BR>
bide their time and prepare to strike again.
<P>
I was counting on the shit-disturbers, chiefly Dale Thorn, to
<BR>
keep a practiced eye out for signs of the evil farces {Was that
a<BR>
typo, a Freudian slip, or another sign of the mind infection that
<BR>
is rapidly spreading on the list?} regrouping to once again try
<BR>
to destroy the cypherpunks list.<BR>
Suddenly, Dale disappeared--faster than you can say, "Jimmy
Hoffa."<BR>
For a time, Toto attempted to carry on in his stead, but I *knew*
<BR>
Dale Thorn, and Toto is no John F. Kennedy.<BR>
{Shit! Now I'm beginning to steal and corrupt the words of others.
<BR>
I'm not certain I like the implications of this. The plot may
go<BR>
even deeper than I previously thought...}<BR>
<P>
Where was I...?<BR>
Oh, yes...the Plot of the Platypus...<BR>
<P>
William H. Geiger III writed:<BR>
> A prime example is the welfair class in America.<BR>
*^^*
<P>
Anonymous rote:<BR>
> Many in the welfair class have their basic needs met by...
<BR>
*^^*
<P>
Then, in a startling development,<BR>
? the platypus wrote:<BR>
>(Australia, most of europe ect have higher welfare rates).
<BR>
... *^^^^^^^*<BR>
<I>>Please excuse my spelling as I suffer from agraphia see
the url in my header. </I>
<P>
Notice anything a little bit *strange* in the above quotes?
<BR>
Suddenly, "? the Platypus" is the only one of this
group that<BR>
can spell welfair...warfair......welfare.<BR>
{Damn! What's that clinging to my back?}
<P>
What is going on here? As the Platypus's spelling gets better,
the<BR>
other list members' spelling gets worse.
<P>
For example:
<P>
Ray Arachelian sayhed:<BR>
> what shal be the punishment? If the one who takes the order...
<BR>
*^*<BR>
> reposability, then the one giving the order must be doubly...
<BR>
*^^*
<P>
Tim May wroted:<BR>
> Agraphia or not, this is one of the lamest posts I've seen
in years.<BR>
> Wealth is to be taken from those who have worked for it or
put their<BR>
> capitcal at risk<BR>
*^*
<P>
The CypherPunk Philosophist King, lame-ing while flame-ing?
Worse <BR>
yet, while flame-ing about lame-ing?<BR>
Lame-ing while flame-ing about lame-ing? Fucking up his spelling
<BR>
while taking a cheap-shot at someone's disability in their ability
to<BR>
'dis' someone with proper spelling?<BR>
And then, after his "capitcal" misfire, the object
of his scorn <BR>
returns fire with a correct spelling of "redistribution?"
<P>
? the Platypus correctly scripted:<BR>
> The US has one of the lowest rates of wealth redistribution
in the...
<P>
Am I making too much of this? A few simple typo's, you say?
Perhaps<BR>
an occasional slip of the finger--a momentary lapse of mind and/or
<BR>
memory, leading to a misspelled word?<BR>
{Or is it 'mispelled'? I don't know, and I'm afraid to look
it up.<BR>
I could use the spell checker, but... No! It's too dangerous.}
<P>
It's the Plot of the Platypus, I tell you...I AM NOT CRAZY!!!!
<BR>
I did extensive analysis of the list posts in the last few months,
<BR>
and I can state with absolute certainty that for every slight
<BR>
improvement in the quality of the Platypus's spelling, there is
a <BR>
court responding decease in the Kuala-T of many of T ohter libsp
<BR>
mambors spealing.<BR>
{See? Do you SEE!?!? IT'S EVEN HAPPENING TO *ME* NOW.}
<P>
That's not all. Just like before, others on the list are acting
as<BR>
the shills for the chief instant gator of this spelling tragivesty.
<P>
Bill Stewart, a conscienshous speller, said:<BR>
> [If you're going to rant about government-provided education,
<BR>
> _please_ spell most of your words correctly, or let technology
help <BR>
> you...]<BR>
<P>
See? Do you SEE?!?<BR>
The subtle slams by the co-conspirators are beginning. It's
the<BR>
next stage...<BR>
"Having a little trouble with your spelling there, pal?
There's no<BR>
more censorship, so you can say anything you want...as long as
you<BR>
can SPELL it! Haaa...haaaa...haaa."
<P>
The ebil fartses are once again attempting to split the cybferpukes
<BR>
lissed in2 too kamps--the good spellers and the bag speelers.
<BR>
Think about it. Have you ever heard of "agraphia"
before? Ever known<BR>
anyone that had it? Of course not! It was developed in an underground
<BR>
lavoratory in Area 51 by reptilian Nazis.<BR>
Well, maybe not "reptilian", but Nazis, just the same.
<P>
And LOOK! I'm using double-quotes! *Misplaced* double-quotes,
<BR>
nonetheless.<BR>
THE MARKS OF THE *TOTO*!!!
<P>
The conspiracy is spreading fast. It's everywhere. Kent Crispin,
<BR>
government schill {Damn! I even spell 'shill' like Toto, now.
At<BR>
least I managed to use single quotes this time, like we did in
<BR>
the old days, before the censorship crisis...which just 'happened'
<BR>
to happen shortly after Toto happeared out of nowhere...}
<P>
Where was I...? Oh, yes...<BR>
Crispin, who has long previously been the target of many vicious
<BR>
attacks by both Toto and the Platypus, is now showing signs of
<BR>
the government generated Platyagraphia and the double-quote marks
<BR>
of the Toto.
<P>
Kent Crispin <kent@songbird.com> say-heyed:<BR>
>will force the "welfair class" to become productive
citizens or die. <BR>
^ ^^^ ^
<P>
Or is Kent Crispin, gubormint chill, marking funds of the wrist
<BR>
of U.S.? Is he laughtering at uds B-hynd R backs?<BR>
Is he a bubble agent in the Plop of the Paperplutz?<BR>
<P>
Still skeptical? Wait!! There's more!!!<BR>
{No, not the Ginsu knives, you fools. I'm talking about the
Plop<BR>
of the Pretty Puss.}
<P>
Think about the following pots, which wah *snot* sent to the
list<BR>
in order to hide the troops from the simplefucks lips dismemberers.
<BR>
Since it was not cent 2 the lips, I had to make it up, and now
<BR>
I'm a forager, like Tutu making those bag fridgeries of ohter
<BR>
cheaples pastes when he abuses their names without having their
<BR>
parsimmons to accuse their name for making his own pissed to the
<BR>
cyberhunks lost.
<P>
------- Begin Pretty Good Pretending-------<BR>
PGP: Bad Spelling Virgin 0.1
<P>
To: ciderpundits@tao.dot.commie<BR>
From: TheBadSpellingForger <i_can__spell_good@anytime.I.please>
<BR>
Subject: Make Con$piracy La$t<BR>
Date: {I'm typing it *now*, you idiot.}
<P>
Tired of being a LOSER? Tired of failing in your list takeover
<BR>
bids while others, like the _fuck_you_morons_ spammer, AOL'ers,
<BR>
and blonde bimbos with huge breasts are getting ahead in life?
<BR>
Tired of not getting your secret cypherpunks decoder ring, like
<BR>
the others, because you don't use an "authorized" operating
<BR>
system, and you can't spell "welfare" even though you're
on it?
<P>
Join the SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST today,
<BR>
and turn your life around. <BR>
{No Bullshit! This conspiracy is so fucking secret that *nobody*
<BR>
knows about it--NOT EVEN ME! I had to make it up! That's how
<BR>
secret it is.}
<P>
Good gays Finnish lost. Why do they "Finnish lost"?
Because <BR>
they waste their time with correct spelling, proper placement
<BR>
of quotation marks, and trying to develop a consistent list<BR>
persona when there are already millions of Internet identities
<BR>
out there already, just waiting to be abused.
<P>
Face it, it's the assholes that usually end up on top, and not
<BR>
just because most people sleep on their stomachs. So why are<BR>
you WASTING YOUR TIME being a good gay, when the assholes are
<BR>
making the BIG BUCKS by putting naked pictures of big bucks<BR>
fucking big butts on their "Native American Nude MLM"
web site?
<P>
Tired of being an anarchist? Tired of waiting for Jim Bell<BR>
to rat you out as being a co-conspirator in his evil plot<BR>
to overthrow the government? Tired of standing in front of your
<BR>
mirror, trying to practice acting surprised when armed forces
<BR>
from a dozen government agencies kick down your door to announce
<BR>
that someone nuked D.C., and they'd like to "ask you a few
<BR>
questions?"<BR>
Join the SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST. Do
it<BR>
TODAY, and you will be guaranteed a secret cypherpunks decoder
<BR>
ring when the people who pull our strings pass a law criminalizing
<BR>
them (except for use in meeting the legitimate needs of secret
<BR>
conspirators against the cypherpunks list).<BR>
<P>
Listen to what these Secret Conspirators have to say:
<P>
Peter Trei:<BR>
"Hi. I used to be a boring guy. I was so boring that none
of the <BR>
assholes on the list even bothered insulting me, or forging posts
in<BR>
my name.<BR>
"Then one day, my life suddenly changed. Someone forged
a post to <BR>
the list in my name, and it was exciting. It was like getting
robbed<BR>
at gunpoint. What a rush!<BR>
"When I woke up the next morning, I couldn't face going
back to my<BR>
normal, moral, ethical, boring life. I sent an anonymous post
to the<BR>
list--as TruthMonger! It felt good, like being elected to a government
<BR>
office by lying to people, but I wanted MORE. I began forging
posts to<BR>
the list using other people's identities. If they complained to
the<BR>
list, then I killed them, and assumed their list identities. It
felt<BR>
like driving INSLAW into bankruptcy, stealing their software,
and<BR>
murdering those who knew too much!<BR>
"Now I am Peter Trei, boring cryptographer, by day, but
I am any<BR>
exciting, unethical asshole I want to be, at night.<BR>
"I liked the SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS
LIST so<BR>
much that I *stole* the conspiracy. "? the Platypus"
has nothing<BR>
to do with the Plot of the Platypus, I'm just making fun of his
<BR>
disability, like a real asshole. Toto has nothing to do with it,
<BR>
either. He's such a loser that everyone on the list can spot his
<BR>
forgeries. (Well, they "used to could". But now that
I can mimic<BR>
his style and have hacked his Sympatico account, I can deny all
<BR>
of this from my real list persona tomorrow, and nobody will be
<BR>
the wiser.)<BR>
"I'm not just a user of the cypherpunks list, I'm an abuser."
<BR>
<P>
Kent Crispin:<BR>
"This isn't Peter's conspiracy, its MINE! I mean, get real,
I<BR>
work in a secret underground lavoratory as a government shill.
<BR>
"Think about it. Who would you expect to conspire against
a<BR>
bunch of anarchists...the government! You all know how much I
<BR>
love the government and authority. I'm Louis Freeh's secret<BR>
lover. Janet Reno is going to have my baby.<BR>
"It's me! *I* am the one behind the SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST
<BR>
THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST. I'm a STATIST, for God's sake, why won't
<BR>
you believe me? <BR>
"Because I'm not one of the elitist 'chosen?' Fuck you."
<BR>
<P>
Tim May:<BR>
"God, I *love* this list."<BR>
<P>
Robert Hettinga:<BR>
"Hey! If you check the archives, you'll find that I said
that <BR>
in a post, long before anyone else did."<BR>
<P>
TruthMonger:<BR>
"Now Hettinga is stealing Tim May's lines. What the hell
is <BR>
going on, here? Has *everybody* on this list gone crazy?<BR>
"*I* am the one who is *really* behind the SECRET CONSPIRACY
<BR>
AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST. Think about it. Everyone knows<BR>
that I'm a 33rd degree Mason. No...that's Tim May.<BR>
"Fuck this shit. From now on, I'm posting as Toto."
<BR>
<P>
John Perry:<BR>
"This has gone on long enough. I'm killing this thread.
<BR>
...I mean..."post." ...I mean...<BR>
"Shit! I'm not the list moderator, yet. That's *after*
we<BR>
take over the list."<BR>
"Sorry."
<P>
------- End Pretty Good Pretending-------
<P>
...
<P>
~~~~~~~ Begin Note From Igor ~~~~~~~<BR>
Do you all remember the Perl script I was working on for mimicking
the<BR>
posts of other people? Well, this post is the latest product of
that<BR>
script. What do you think? Is it convincing? Did you really believe
<BR>
that it was actually written by one or more of the people mentioned
<BR>
in the post?<BR>
I think that I finally have the Perl script to the point where
I can<BR>
effectively fool most people about the true source and method
of a<BR>
computer generated post's actual origins.<BR>
I was thinking about adding a conspiratorial part about myself.
I was<BR>
going to intimate that the fact that I was so active on the list
during<BR>
the censorship crisis, playing the skeptic who was gradually brought
<BR>
around to the truth of Dale Thorn and Toto's claims, then volunteering
<BR>
to host the list and quietly disappearing into the background,
might<BR>
indicate that *I* was really behind the SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST
THE<BR>
CYPHERPUNKS LIST.<BR>
In the end, I decided against it, because then the readers would
be<BR>
left with the notion that perhaps even this explanatory note from
me<BR>
was bogus, and that there really was an ongoing SECRET CONSPIRACY
<BR>
AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST.
<P>
~~~~~~~ End Note From Igor ~~~~~~~<BR>
<P>
<CENTER><B>**********<BR>
DISCLAIMER<BR>
**********</B></CENTER>
<P>
<CENTER><B>THERE IS *NO* SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS
LIST!</B></CENTER>
<P>
There is no conspiracy by a secret government to destroy
<BR>
the Constitution, enslave the people, and rule the world.
<P>
Individual cypherpunks are not being imprisoned and murdered
<BR>
and replaced with Identity Bots. There is no need to worry.
<P>
Declan McCullagh can confirm all of this. You can trust
him.<BR>
He is your representative in D.C. He did *not* give secret
<BR>
testimony against Jim Bell in return for a byline in the
<BR>
"Time" magazine cover story. That is just a
rumor. Well, not<BR>
yet, maybe, but it will be, very soon.
<P>
Remember, this is just a normal mailing list with a few
list<BR>
members who are a little odd. There are no spooks. There
is<BR>
no background intrigue. This whole privacy thing has just
been<BR>
blown a bit out of proportion. It's really not that important.
<P>
Waco was just a tragic accident. Ruby Ridge was a simple
error<BR>
in judgment by a government agent who really feels bad
about<BR>
following his superiors orders. Heavily armed U.S. Marines
are<BR>
no match for a goat-herding boy with a .22, and it is
only by<BR>
the grace of God that they are alive today. Oswald acted
alone.
<P>
<CENTER>lai;ekrjke ^C<BR>
<B>THERE IS *NO* SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST!</B></CENTER>
<P>
<B> </B> There is no conspiracy by a secret government to
destroy<BR>
the Constitution, enslave the people, and rule the world.
<BR>
dakl;jdafkl;jad;jfa ^C ^C<BR>
Oswald acted alone. Bears are Catholic. The Pope shits
in <BR>
the woods. The government is concerned for your welfair.
<BR>
*^^^*
<BR>
ldfafd;ljfd; ^C^X^C
<P>
<CENTER> THERE IS *NO* SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS
LIST!</CENTER>
<P>
da;lkdf ^C<BR>
THERE IS *NO* welfair ad;fljadf;<BR>
*^^^*<BR>
ad;sljf;afj ^C ^C ^C<BR>
<P>
<B> THERE IS *NO*</B> <BR>
<B> SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST!<BR>
SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST!<BR>
SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST!<BR>
SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST!<BR>
SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST!<BR>
SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST!<BR>
SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST!<BR>
SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST!<BR>
SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST!<BR>
SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST!<BR>
SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST!<BR>
SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST!<BR>
SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST!<BR>
SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST!<BR>
SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST!<BR>
SECRET CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE CYPHERPUNKS LIST!<BR>
</B>
<HR>
<P>
<CENTER><A HREF="http://bureau42.base.org/public/xenix">"The Xenix Chainsaw Massacre"</A></CENTER>
<P>
<CENTER><A HREF="http://bureau42.base.org/public/webworld">"WebWorld & the Mythical Circle of Eunuchs"</A></CENTER>
<P>
<CENTER><A HREF="http://bureau42.base.org/public/infowar3/">"InfoWar (Part III of 'The True Story of the InterNet')</A></CENTER>
<P>
<CENTER><A HREF="http://www.tigerteam.net/anarchy/texts/index.html">Soviet Union Sickle of Eunuchs Secret WebSite</A></CENTER>
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