[108350] in Cypherpunks
CDR: the solution (fwd)
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Jim Choate)
Sat Feb 13 10:46:47 1999
From: Jim Choate <ravage@EINSTEIN.ssz.com>
To: projects@EINSTEIN.ssz.com (Various Projects)
Date: Sat, 13 Feb 1999 09:28:36 -0600 (CST)
Cc: cypherpunks@EINSTEIN.ssz.com
Reply-To: Jim Choate <ravage@EINSTEIN.ssz.com>
-------------Forwarded Message-----------------
The Solution
The European Union commissioners have announced that an agreement has been
reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European
communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased
plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).
In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly,
sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be
replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters
kan
have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like
"fotograf"
20 per sent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments
will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a
deterent
to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is
disgrasful, and must go to.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
"th" by "z" and "w" by " v".
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining
"ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of
leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no
mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech
ozer.
Ze drem vil finali kum tru.
Yah?
----- End of forwarded message -----
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The Armadillo Group ,::////;::-. James Choate
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