[107551] in Cypherpunks
[humor] virus hoax parody... :-)
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Jean-Francois Avon)
Sat Jan 16 19:01:23 1999
From: "Jean-Francois Avon" <jf_avon@citenet.net>
To: "Cypherpunks" <cypherpunks@toad.com>, "Machineco" <machtool@total.net>
Date: Sat, 16 Jan 1999 17:50:29 -0500
Reply-To: "Jean-Francois Avon" <jf_avon@citenet.net>
On Sat, 16 Jan 1999 16:24:42 -0800, The Gayders wrote:
>> Thanks to Nancy Watkins. Fortunately, this bug is deactivated by the Y2K
>> virus. (Don't stop reading too soon)
>> *****
>> Virus warning!!... Watch out for Badtimes: If you receive an email
>> entitled "Badtimes," delete it immediately. Do not open it. Apparently
>> this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard
>> drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your
>> computer. It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards. It
>> reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR and
>> uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play.
>> It will re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness settings so all your
>> ice cream melts and your milk curdles. It will program your phone
>> auto-dial to call only your mother-in-law's number. This virus will mix
>> antifreeze into your fish tank. It will drink all your beer. It will
>> leave dirty socks on the coffee table when you are expecting company.
>> Its radioactive emissions will cause your toe jam and bellybutton fuzz
>> (honest, you have some) to migrate behind your ears. It will replace
>> your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all while dating your
>> current boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing their hotel
>> rendezvous to your Visa card. It will cause you to run with scissors
>> and throw things in a way that is only fun until someone loses an eye.
>> It will give you Dutch Elm Disease and Tinea. It will rewrite your
>> backup files, changing all your active verbs to passive tense and
>> incorporating undetectable misspellings which grossly change the
>> interpretations of key sentences. If the "Badtimes" message is opened in
>> a Windows95 environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your
>> hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will not
>> only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, but it
>> will also refill your skim milk with whole milk. It will replace all
>> your luncheon meat with Spam. It will molecularly rearrange your cologne
>> or perfume, causing it to smell like dill pickles. THIS IS SERIOUS!
>> PLEASE PASS THIS WARNING ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!
>> ***********************************************
