[502] in Humor
HUMOR: Microsoft Press Announcement
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew A. Bennett)
Thu Oct 20 09:34:45 1994
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Thu, 20 Oct 1994 09:31:35 EDT
From: "Andrew A. Bennett" <abennett@MIT.EDU>
Date: Wed, 19 Oct 94 12:24:39 PDT
From: Connie_Kleinjans@Novell.COM (Connie Kleinjans)
From: "Kate Payne" <kate_payne@taligent.com>
>
> [forwards converting their t-bills into MS-stock]
> --
>
> MENLO PARK, Calif. -- Oct 14, 1994-- Microsoft Corp. (NASDAQ:MSFT)
> confirmed today that it is aquiring the Department of Justice as an
> addition to its impressive legal department. The agreement was signed
> today for an unspecified sum. Bill Gates, chairman and CEO of
> Microsoft Corporation, said, "You never can own too many lawyers."
>
> The Department of Justice is expected later today to withdraw it's
> earlier objections to a recent merger between Microsoft and Intuit,
> Inc. (INTU:NASDAQ). The Department no longer feels that sole control
> of the entire computer software industry strictly consitutes a
> monoply.
>
> The Department of Justice is a small arm of the United States
> Government whose charter is to oversee Big Business. Their goals are
> to ensure that unfair business practices are not being employed and
> that no company obtains exclusive domination over its competition.
>
