[422] in Humor
HUMOR: Misc. Short Bits
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew A. Bennett)
Wed Aug 24 10:03:50 1994
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Reply-To: drewsome@MIT.EDU
Date: Wed, 24 Aug 1994 10:00:19 EDT
From: "Andrew A. Bennett" <abennett@MIT.EDU>
> Date: Tue, 23 Aug 1994 09:23:17 -0700
> From: cate3@netcom.com (Henry Cate)
--------------------------
From: charles (c.a.) hoequist <hoequist@bnr.ca>
Esteemed Editor,
This is a followup to my posting concerning the new 411 service in
Atlanta. In response to an e-mail request to post more details to the
Digest about subscriber requests which don't exactly fit the telco's
DA template, here is a selection.
Bear in mind that the operator doesn't dare just brush off the
subscriber. That may bring a complaint. But if the call takes too
long, the operator's AWT (average work time -- the average duration of
the calls at the operator's position) will go up, which is also evil.
So everything has to be either solved or at least properly redirected,
preferably in 20 seconds or less.
First, there are some frequent errors, such as subscribers asking for
DA in another area code. A subclass of of these are the telephony-
challenged. The operators usually read out the entire sequence for the
call to the subscriber ("Dial one, then <area code>, then ..") and in
one case the subscriber obediently hit DTMF 1 ("ma'am?" "Yes?" "You
have to hang up first.")
Second, there are ambiguous or poorly-stated listing requests. These
can be mildly humorous:
"I'd like the number of X in Jefferson"
"Which one, ma'am? I have two Jefferson listings for that name."
"Well, it's the one on the main street."
"Neither is listed as having Main Street as an address."
"No, it's the main street, it runs right through the center of
town."
(pause)
"Ma'am, I don't know the name of that street."
"Hmm. Well, it's the one that turns into the state road a little
out of town ..."
This can go on and on.
Then there are some which are telephony-related, but not DA calls,
like the bozo who badgered the operator endlessly about whether he'd
get charged for a DA call made from his cellular phone. Or requests
for beeper numbers.
Finally, there are the miscellaneous requests:
- what time is it? Not, what is the number to get the time recording?
The subscriber was very explicit.
- when do the buses run?
- what zipcode is <X>?
- and the winner: "Could you tell me what research is going on
at Emory University?"
--------------------------
From: alaric@netcom.com (The Renaissance Man)
sarge@world.std.com (brian k short) wrote:
] While I was stationed at Ft Sill, Ok. we had an 3-6 who claimed this really
] happened in his unit:
] He had been in his unit for about a year and was an PFC.
] His unit was going out on an FTX (playing soldier in the woods)
] in Germany.....
Reminds me of a story told by a friend, also stationed in Germany. Seems
the locals didn't like the way that all-steel tracks tore up their roads,
and so insisted that they use road tracks (which have rubber "tread" pads)
all year round. One day, he was off tooling around the neighborhood in
an M-60, got half-way down an icy hill just outside of town, and started
to slide. He put it in neutral, and everyone just pulled their straps
tight, sat back, and waited for the noise to stop. After things were quiet
again, he put it back in gear, drove back through 100 yards of flattened
orchard, drove it through the new hole in the 400-year-old stone wall, and
drove the rest of the way into town.
The locals let them use steel tracks when it was icy after that.
