[406] in Humor
HUMOR: EU decides Spock is an illegal alien
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (abennett@MIT.EDU)
Mon Aug 15 15:21:23 1994
From: abennett@MIT.EDU
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Mon, 15 Aug 94 15:17:55 EDT
Date: Fri, 12 Aug 1994 13:52:35 -0600 (MDT)
From: Espacionaute Spiff domine! <MATOSSIAN%ARIES@VAXF.Colorado.EDU>
British Customs Officials Consider Mr. Spock Dolls to Be Illegal Aliens
----
By Dana Milbank
Staff Reporter of The Wall Street Journal
LONDON -- Beam me up, Scotty. The European Union bureacracy has gone mad.
EU officials in Brussels, on their continuing mission to boldly go where
no government has gone before, have applied the Vulcan death grip to Star
Trek hero Spock. Likenesses of the pointy-eared Spock and of other "nonhuman
creatures" have fallen victim to an EU quota on dolls made in China.
As part of an effort to establish Pan-European quotas on various
products, the EU Council of Ministers in February slapped a quota equivalent
to $81.7 million on nonhuman dolls from China. But it left human dolls alone.
This has put British customs officials in the unusual position of debating
each doll's humanity. So far, they have blacklisted popular nonhuman
dolls Noddy and Big Ears; they've cleared Batman and Robin. Although they've
turned away Spock because of his Vulcan origins, they will admit Star Trek's
Captain Kirk. Teddy bears have also fallen to the quotas.
The EU's actions seem even more extraterrestrial because Europe's toy
makers, the supposed beneficiaries of the quotas, oppose the protection. EU
companies make doll accessories from imported Chinese toys and fear they
will lose $200 million in business and 500 jobs.
"The whole thing is a great bungle," says Peter Waterman of the Toy
Manufacturers of Europe and the British Toy and Hobby Association. "It seems
very strange that we should have customs officials involved in a discussion
of whether Mr. Spock is an alien or human being."
Britain filed a lawsuit in June with the European Court of Justice to
overturn the quotas. Last month, the EU trade commissioner tried to settle
the spat, but in deference to Spanish support for the quotas, "he only
managed it for teddy bears," an EU spokesman says.
Star Trek fans say the governments should not be meddling with the final
frontier. Dan Madsen, president of Star Trek: The Official Fan Club in
Colorado, said the customs officials "ought to cut Spock some slack" because
his mother, Amanda, was human.
But Britain's customs office is standing firm on Spock. "We see no reason
to change our interpretation," says customs spokesman Dez Barratt-Denyer.
"You don't find a human with ears that size."
