[33] in Humor
Bedroom Golf
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (grisha@MIT.EDU)
Thu Jan 27 13:02:19 1994
From: grisha@MIT.EDU
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Thu, 27 Jan 94 12:58:27 EST
THE RULES OF BEDROOM GOLF:
1) Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play. (Normally one club
and two balls)
2) Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.
3) Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the
balls out of the hole.
4) For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners
are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.
5) Course owners reserve the right to restrict the length of the club as to
avoid damage to the hole.
6) The object of the game is to make as many strokes as necessary until the
course owner is satisfied that the play is complete. Failure to do so may
result in being denied permission to play the course again.
7) It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival
at the course. The experienced player will normally take time to admire the
entire course, with special attention to well-formed bunkers.
8) Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played or are
currently playing to the owner of the course being played. Upset course
owners have been known to damage a player's equipment for this reason.
9) Players are encouraged to have proper rain gear along, just in case.
10) Players should assure themselves that their match has been properly
scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played for the first
time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover
someone else playing what they consider to be a private course.
11) Players should not assume that a course is in shape for play at all times.
Some players may be embarassed if they find the course to be temporarily
under repair. Players are advised to be extremely careful in this
situation. More advanced players will find alternate means of play when
this is the case.
12) Players are advised to obtain the course owner's permission before
attempting to play the back nine.
13) Slow play in encouraged. However, players should be prepared to proceed at
a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the course owner's request.
14) It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same
hole several times in one match.
15) The course owner will be the sole judge of who is the best player.
16) Payment for membership is dependent upon the given course. Additional
assessment may be levied by the course owner and the rules are subject to
change. For this reason, many players prefer to continue to play several
different courses.
