[221] in Humor

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HUMOR: Excuses, excuses

daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (abennett@MIT.EDU)
Wed Apr 20 14:49:07 1994

From: abennett@MIT.EDU
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Wed, 20 Apr 94 14:46:12 EDT

Having graduated from Sandia High School, in Albuquerque, NM I can truthfully
say...

		Well, actually, I plead the fifth.
-Drew

Date: Wed, 20 Apr 94 13:28:53 EDT
From: Erik Nygren <nygren@MIT.EDU>
From: chiutech@MIT.EDU
From:  Emil deGoma <edegoma@husc.harvard.edu>

THE FOLLOWING IS A PARTIAL LIST OF ACTUAL WRITTEN EXCUSES GIVEN TO 
TEACHERS IN THE ALBURQUERQUE PUBLIC SCHOOL SYSTEM BY PARENTS OF STUDENTS:

 1.  Dear School: Please excuse John from being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 
31, 32, and also 33.
 2.  Please excuse Dianne from being absent yesterday.  She was in bed 
with gramps.
 3.  Please excuse Johnnie for being.  It was his father's fault.
 4.  Chris will not be in school because he has an acre in his side.
 5.  John has been absent because he had two teeth taken off his face.
 6.  Excuse Gloria.  She has been under the doctor.
 7.  Lillie was absent from school yesterday because she had a going over.
 8.  My son is under the doctor's care and should not take fizical ed.  
Please execute him.
 9.  Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football.  He was 
hit in the growing part.
 10. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired.  She spent 
this weekend with the Marines.
 11. Please excuse Joyce from P.E. for a few days.  Yesterday she fell off 
a tree and misplaced her hip.
 12. Please excuse Ray Friday from school.  He has very loose vowels.
 13. Maryann was absent Dec. 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat,
 headache, and upset stomach.  Her sister was also sick, fever and sore 
throat, her brother had a low-grade fever.  There must be the flu going
around, her father even got hot last night.
 14. Please excuse Blanche from jim today.  She is administrating.
 15. George was absent yesterday because he had a stomach.
 16. Ralph was absent yesterday because he had a sore trout.
 17. Please excuse Sara for being absent.  She was sick and I had her shot.
 18. Please excuse Lupe.  She is having problems with her ovals.
 19. Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday.  He had 
diah(*crossed out*), diahoah(*crossed out*), dyah(*crossed out*) the shits.












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