[207] in Humor
HUMOR: Loopholes
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (abennett@MIT.EDU)
Thu Apr 14 09:53:32 1994
From: abennett@MIT.EDU
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Thu, 14 Apr 94 09:49:53 EDT
Date: Wed, 13 Apr 94 14:20:06 PDT
From: ckleinja@Novell.COM (Connie Kleinjans)
From: "Mark D. Baushke" <mdb@cisco.com>
From: Caren B Pelletier <caren@engin.umich.edu>
Along the lines of 'It isn't smoking pot if you don't enhale':
- It doesn't count as tabloid reporting if you're only reporting that the
tabloids reported it.
- You're still sober as lounge as you can still say your worms promperly.
- It isn't a preexisting condition unless you had it before you existed.
- You're not fat if clothes are actually made in your size.
- You are not guilty of DUI if you thought someone else was driving.
- It isn't vote fraud unless you can prove those dead guys would have voted
the other way.
- You are not abusing drugs if you store them in a cool, dry place and never
yell at them.
- It is not premaritial sex if you have no intention of getting married.
- It is not speeding if there are still cars in front of you.
- It isn't adultery if she reminds you of your wife.
- It isn't reckless driving if you get into a wreck.
- You are not overweight if you can touch anybody's toes.
- It isn't procrastination if you decide to postpone it right now.
