[14] in Humor
HUMOR: Decisions in History
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (abennett@MIT.EDU)
Wed Jan 19 10:51:30 1994
From: abennett@MIT.EDU
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Wed, 19 Jan 94 10:47:41 EST
Date: Tue, 18 Jan 94 12:39:05 PST
From: ckleinja@Novell.COM (Connie Kleinjans)
Message-Id: <9401182039.AA04115@nym.SJF.novell.com>
To: ckleinja@nym.SJF.novell.com
Subject: HUMOR: Decisions in History
A classic, but worth repeating.
>>Title: David Frost's Book of the World's Worst Decisions
>>Author: Frost, David & Michael Deakin
>>Publisher: Crown Publishers, Inc.
>>Date: 1983
>>
>>David Frost is a well-known TV personality. Michael Deakin is
>>programming director for a television station founded by Frost in
>>England. This book is a collection of truly bad decisions from the
>>fields of politics, sports, business, science, show business, and
>>everyday life.
>>
>>
>>====================
>>
>>Sam Phillips owned a small recording company in Memphis. In 1955,
>>he sold to RCA Records, for the sum of $35,000, the exclusive contract
>>he had with a young man named Elvis Presley, thereby forfeiting
>>royalties on more than a billion records.
>>
>>In 1889 the editor of the San Francisco Examiner published one
>>article by Rudyard Kipling but declined to accept any more. "I'm
>>sorry, Mr. Kipling," he said, "but you just don't know how to use
>>the English language."
>>
>>In 1981 Dora Wilson looked out her window and saw some men loading
>>her neighbor's priceless Persian carpets into a van. "What are you
>>doing?" she called. "We're taking them to be cleaned," the men
>>replied. "Will you take mine too?" she asked. They did, and she
>>never saw the men or the carpets again.
>>
>>In 1910 Olav Olavson decided to raise some cash by selling his body
>>to the Karolinska Institute, for medical research after his death.
>>The following year he inherited a fortune and tried to buy himself
>>back. The institute refused to sell and went to court to verify their
>>claim. They even won damages, since Olav had had two teeth pulled
>>without asking their permission.
>>
>>In 1938 Joe Shuster and Jerry Siegel sold all rights to the comic-strip
>>character Superman to their publishers for $130, a tidy $65 each.
>>
>>In 1977 a South African hang-gliding instructor spotted an interesting
>>sight and made an obscene gesture at a woman who was sunbathing on
>>a rooftop below his flight path. The woman's husband appeared with
>>a submachine gun and blasted the birdman out of the sky.
>>
>>In 1898 young Albert Einstein applied for admission to the Munich
>>Technical Institute, but was turned down on the grounds that he
>>"showed no promise" as a student.
>>
>>In 1880 a house master at Harrow wrote of one of his pupils, "He is
>>forgetful, careless, unpunctual, irregular in every way.... If he
>>is unable to conquer this slovenliness he will never make a success
>>of public school." The boy in question was Winston Churchill.
>>
>>In 1940 the British Secret Service decided that microfilms must be
>>made of all personnel records, in case the originals were damaged
>>by enemy action. It was only when the originals were, in fact,
>>destroyed by enemy action that it was discovered that the photographer
>>had cropped the top of every negative so the name of the person to
>>whom the file referred was missing.
>>
>>In 1862 the Union and Confederacy forces met at the Battle of Antietam.
>>The Union forces under General Burnside were ordered to cross the
>>Potomac River and join battle with the enemy. They marched across
>>the bridge two abreast, making an ideal target for Confederate gunners
>>placed so as to command the bridge. The slaughter was appalling.
>>General Burnside had failed to notice that the river was only waist
>>deep and could have been crossed at any other point in perfect safety.
>>
>>In 1886 prospector Sors Hariezon decided to sell his South African
>>gold claim for $20. Over the next 90 years, mines sunk on or near
>>his claim produced over a million kilograms of gold a year, 70% of
>>the gold supply of the Western world.
>>
>>During the 1950's when the BBC's new broadcasting facilities were
>>built, the corridors were narrow and labyrinthine. The Music
>>Department became concerned about the difficulties they would face
>>in transporting their grand pianos from one studio to another, and
>>decided on a series of trials to find the easiest route. They asked
>>the BBC carpenters to make a plywood mockup of a full-size piano
>>rather than risk one of their expensive instruments. The model was
>>duly constructed -- and found to be too large to pass through the
>>door of the carpentry shop.
>>
