[87879] in Discussion of MIT-community interests
4 Things Happen Before A Heart Attack
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Heart Attack Defender)
Thu Sep 1 07:08:24 2016
Date: Thu, 1 Sep 2016 07:01:42 -0400
From: "Heart Attack Defender" <heart-attack-defender@fullpotentials.stream>
To: <mit-talk-mtg@charon.mit.edu>
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<p>4 Things Happen Before A Heart Attack<br /> the overhanging willows o=
f the opposite bank there was an inlet where the water was deeper and flowe=
d so slowly that it seemed to sleep in the sun. In this little bay a single=
wild duck was swimming and diving and preening her feathers, disporting he=
rself very happily in the flickering light and shade. They sat for a long t=
ime, watching the solitary bird take its pleasure. No living thing had ever=
seemed to Alexandra as beautiful as that wild duck. Emil must have felt ab=
out it as she did, for afterward, when they were at home, he used sometimes=
to say, "Sister, you know our duck down there--" Alexandra remem=
bered that day as one of the happiest in her life. Years afterward she thou=
ght of the duck as still there, swimming and diving all by herself in the s=
unlight, a kind of enchanted bird that did not know age or change. Most of =
Alexandra's happy memories were as impersonal as this one; yet to her they =
were very personal. Her mind was a white book, with clear writing about wea=
ther and beasts and growing things. Not many people would have cared to rea=
d it; only a happy few. She had never been in love, she had never indulged =
in sentimental reveries. Even as a girl she had looked upon men as work-fel=
lows. She had grown up in serious times. There was one fancy indeed, which =
persisted through her girlhood. It most often came to her on Sunday morning=
s, the one day in the week when she lay late abed listening to the familiar=
morning sounds; the windmill singing in the brisk breeze, Emil whistling a=
s he blacked his boots down by the kitchen door. Sometimes, as she lay thus=
luxuriously idle, her eyes closed, she used to have an illusion of being l=
ifted up bodily and carried lightly by some one very strong. It was a man, =
certainly, who carried her, but he was like no man she knew; he was much la=
rger and stronger and swifter, and he carried her as easily as if she were =
a sheaf of wheat. She never saw him, but, with eyes closed, she could feel =
that he was yellow like the sunlight, and there was the smell of ripe cornf=
ields about him. She could feel him approach, bend over her and lift her, a=
nd then she could feel herself being carried swiftly off across the fields.=
After such a reverie she would rise hastily, angry with herself, and go do=
wn to the bath-house that was partitioned off the kitchen shed. There she w=
ould stand in a tin tub and prosecute her bath with vigor, finishing it by =
pouring buckets of cold well-water over her gleaming white body which no ma=
n on the Divide could have carried very far. As she grew older, this fancy =
more often came to her when she was tired than when she was fresh and stron=
g. Sometimes, after she had been in the open all day, overseeing the brandi=
ng of the cattle or the loading of the pigs, she would come in chilled, tak=
e a concoction of spices and warm home-made wine, and go to bed with her bo=
dy actually aching with fatigue. Then, just before she went to sleep, she h=
ad the old sensation of being lifted and carried by a strong being who took=
from her all her bodily weariness. PART IV The White Mulberry Tree I The F=
rench Church, properly the Church of Sainte-Agnes, stood upon a hill. The h=
igh, narrow, red-brick building, with its tall steeple and steep roof, coul=
d be seen for miles across the wheatfields, though the little town of Saint=
e-Agnes was completely hidden away at the foot of the hill. The church look=
ed powerful and triumphant there on its eminence, so high above the rest of=
the landscape, with miles of warm color lying at its feet, and by its posi=
tion and setting it reminded one of some of the churches built long ago in =
the wheat-lands of middle France. Late one June afternoon Alexandra Bergson=
was driving along one of the many roads that led through the rich French f=
arming country to the big church. The sunlight was shining directly in her =
face, and there was a blaze of light all about the red church on the hill. =
Beside Alexandra lounged a strikingly exotic figure in a tall Mexican hat, =
a silk sash, and a black velvet jacket sewn with silver buttons. Emil had r=
eturned only the night before, and his sister was so proud of him that she =
decided at once to take him up to the church supper, and to make him wear t=
he Mexican costume he had brought home in his trunk. "All the girls wh=
o have stands are going to wear fancy costumes," she argued, "and=
some of the boys. Marie is going to tell fortunes, and she sent to Omaha f=
or a Bohemian dress her father brought back from a visit to the old country=
If you wear those clothes, they will all be pleased. And you must take yo=
ur guitar. Everybody ought to do what they can to help along, and we have n=
ever done much. We are not a talented family." The supper was to be at=
six o'clock, in the basement of the church, and afterward there would be a=
fair, with charades and an auction. Alexandra had set out from home early,=
leaving the house to Signa and Nelse Jensen, who were to be married next w=
eek. Signa had shyly asked to have the wedding put off until Emil came home=
Alexandra was well satisfied with her brother. As they drove through the =
rolling French country toward the westering sun and the stalwart church, sh=
e was thinking of that time long ago when she and Emil drove back from the =
river valley to the still unconquered Divide. Yes, she told herself, it had=
been worth while; both Emil and the country had become what she had hoped.=
Out of her father's children there was one who was fit to cope with the wo=
rld, who had not been tied to the plow, and who had a personality apart fro=
m the soil. And that, she reflected, was what she had worked for. She felt =
well satisfied with her life. When they reached the church, a score of team=
s were hitched in front of the basement doors that opened from the hillside=
upon the sanded terrace, where the boys wrestled and had jumping-matches. =
Amedee Chevalier, a proud father of one week, rushed out and embraced Emil.=
Amedee was an only son,--hence he was a very rich young man,--but he meant=
to have twenty children himself, like his uncle Xavier. "Oh, Emil,&qu=
ot; he cried, hugging his old friend rapturously, "why ain't you been =
up to see my boy? You come to-morrow, sure? Emil, you wanna get a boy right=
off! It's the greatest thing ever! No, no, no! Angel not sick at all. Ever=
ything just fine. That boy he come into this world laughin', and he been la=
ughin' ever since. You come an' see!" He pounded Emil's ribs to emphas=
ize each announcement. Emil caught his arms. "Stop, Amedee. You're kno=
cking the wind out of me. I brought him cups and spoons and blankets and mo=
ccasins enough for an orphan asylum. I'm awful glad it's a boy, sure enough=
!" The young men crowded round Emil to admire his costume and to tell =
him in a breath everything that had happened since he went away. Emil had m=
ore friends up here in the French country than down on Norway Creek. The Fr=
ench and Bohemian boys were spirited and jolly, liked variety, and were as =
much predisposed to favor anything new as the Scandinavian boys were to rej=
ect it. The Norwegian and Swedish lads were much more self-centred, apt to =
be egotistical and jealous. They were cautious and reserved with Emil becau=
se he had been away to college, and were prepared to take him down if he sh=
ould try to put on airs with them. The French boys liked a bit of swagger, =
and they were always delighted to hear about anything new: new clothes, new=
games, new songs, new dances. Now they carried Emil off to show him the cl=
ub room they had just fitted up over the post-office, down in the village. =
They ran down the hill in a drove, all laughing and chattering at once, som=
e in French, some in English. Alexandra went into the cool, whitewashed bas=
ement where the women were setting the tables. Marie was standing on a chai=
r, building a little tent of shawls where she was to tell fortunes. She spr=
ang down and ran toward Alexandra, stopping short and looking at her in dis=
appointment. Alexandra nodded to her encouragingly. "Oh, he will be he=
re, Marie. The boys have taken him off to show him something. You won't kno=
w him. He is a man now, sure enough. I have no boy left. He smokes terrible=
-smelling Mexican cigarettes and talks Spanish. How pretty you look, child.=
Where did you get those beautiful earrings?" "They belonged to f=
ather's mother. He always promised them to me. He sent them with the dress =
and said I could keep them." Marie wore a short red skirt of stoutly w=
oven cloth, a white bodice and kirtle, a yellow silk turban wound low over =
her brown curls, and long coral pendants in her ears. Her ears had been pie=
rced against a piece of cork by her great-aunt when she was seven years old=
In those germless days she had worn bits of broom-straw, plucked from the=
common sweeping-broom, in the lobes until the holes were healed and ready =
for little gold rings. When Emil came back from the village, he lingered ou=
tside on the terrace with the boys. Marie could hear him talking and strumm=
ing on his guitar while Raoul Marcel sang falsetto. She was vexed with him =
for staying out there. It made her very nervous to hear him and not to see =
him; for, certainly, she told herself, she was not going out to look for hi=
m. When the supper bell rang and the boys came trooping in to get seats at =
the first table, she forgot all about her annoyance and ran to greet the ta=
llest of the crowd, in his conspicuous attire. She didn't mind showing her =
embarrassment at all. She blushed and laughed excitedly as she gave Emil he=
r hand, and looked delightedly at the black velvet coat that brought out hi=
s fair skin and fine blond head. Marie was incapable of being lukewarm abou=
t anything that pleased her. She simply did not know how to give a half-hea=
rted response. When she was delighted, she was as likely as not to stand on=
her tip-toes and clap her hands. If people laughed at her, she laughed wit=
h them. "Do the men wear clothes like that every day, in the street?&q=
uot; She caught Emil by his sleeve and turned him about. "Oh, I wish I=
lived where people wore things like that! Are the buttons real silver? Put=
on the hat, please. What a heavy thing! How do you ever wear it? Why don't=
you tell us about the bull-fights?" She wanted to wring all his exper=
iences from him at once, without waiting a moment. Emil smiled tolerantly a=
nd stood looking down at her with his old, brooding gaze, while the French =
girls fluttered about him in their white dresses and ribbons, and Alexandra=
watched the scene with pride. Several of the French girls, Marie knew, wer=
e hoping that Emil would take them to supper, and she was relieved when he =
took only his sister. Marie caught Frank's arm and dragged him to the same =
table, managing to get seats opposite the Bergsons, so that she could hear =
what they were talking about. Alexandra made Emil tell Mrs. Xavier Chevalie=
r, the mother of the twenty, about how he had seen a famous matador killed =
in the bull-ring. Marie listened to every word, only taking her eyes from E=
mil to watch Frank's plate and keep it filled. When Emil finished his accou=
nt,--bloody enough to satisfy Mrs. Xavier and to make her feel thankful tha=
t she was not a matador,--Marie broke out with a volley of questions. How d=
id the women dress when they went to bull-fights? Did they wear mantillas? =
Did they never wear hats? After supper the young people played charades for=
the amusement of their elders, who sat gossiping between their guesses. Al=
l the shops in Sainte-Agnes were closed at eight o'clock that night, so tha=
t the merchants and their clerks could attend the fair. The auction was the=
liveliest part of the entertainment, for the French boys always lost their=
heads when they began to bid, satisfied that their extravagance was in a g=
ood cause. After all the pincushions and sofa pillows and embroidered slipp=
ers were sold, Emil precipitated a panic by taking out one of his turquoise=
shirt studs, which every one had been admiring, and handing it to the auct=
ioneer. All the French girls clamored for it, and their sweethearts bid aga=
inst each other recklessly. Marie wanted it, too, and she kept making signa=
ls to Frank, which he took a sour pleasure in disregarding. He didn't see t=
he use of making a fuss over a fellow just because he was dressed like a cl=
own. When the turquoise went to Malvina Sauvage, the French banker's daught=
er, Marie shrugged her shoulders and betook herself to her little tent of s=
hawls, where she began to shuffle her cards by the light of a tallow candle=
, calling out, "Fortunes, fortunes!" The young priest, Father Duc=
hesne, went first to have his fortune read. Marie took his long white hand,=
looked at it, and then began to run off her cards. "I see a long jour=
ney across water for you, Father. You will go to a town all cut up by water=
; built on islands, it seems to be, with rivers and green fields all about.=
And you will visit an old lady with a white cap and gold hoops in her ears=
, and you will be very happy there." "Mais, oui," said the p=
riest, with a melancholy smile. "C'est L'Isle-Adam, chez ma mere. Vous=
etes tres savante, ma fille." He patted her yellow turban, calling, &=
quot;Venez donc, mes garcons! Il y a ici une veritable clairvoyante!" =
Marie was clever at fortune-telling, indulging in a light irony that amused=
the crowd. She told old Brunot, the miser, that he would lose all his mone=
y, marry a girl of sixteen, and live happily on a crust. Sholte, the fat Ru=
ssian boy, who lived for his stomach, was to be disappointed in love, grow =
thin, and shoot himself from despondency. Amedee was to have twenty childre=
n, and nineteen of them were to be girls. Amedee slapped Frank on the back =
and asked him why he didn't see what the fortune-teller would promise him. =
But Frank shook off his friendly hand and grunted, "She tell my fortun=
e long ago; bad enough!" Then he withdrew to a corner and sat glowerin=
g at his wife. Frank's case was all the more painful because he had no one =
in particular to fix his jealousy upon. Sometimes he could have thanked the=
man who would bring him evidence against his wife. He had discharged a goo=
d farm-boy, Jan Smirka, because he thought Marie was fond of him; but she h=
ad not seemed to miss Jan when he was gone, and she had been just as kind t=
o the next boy. The farm-hands would always do anything for Marie; Frank co=
uldn't find one so surly that he would not make an effort to please her. At=
the bottom of his heart Frank knew well enough that if he could once give =
up his grudge, his wife would come back to him. But he could never in the w=
orld do that. The grudge was fundamental. Perhaps he could not have given i=
t up if he had tried. Perhaps he got more satisfaction out of feeling himse=
lf abused than he would have got out of being loved. If he could once have =
made Marie thoroughly unhappy, he might have relented and raised her from t=
he dust. But she had never humbled herself. In the first days of their love=
she had been his slave; she had admired him abandonedly. But the moment he=
began to bully her and to be unjust, she began to draw away; at first in t=
earful amazement, then in quiet, unspoken disgust. The distance between the=
m had widened and hardened. It no longer contracted and brought them sudden=
ly together. The spark of her life went somewhere else, and he was always w=
atching to surprise it. He knew that somewhere she must get a feeling to li=
ve upon, for she was not a woman who could live without loving. He wanted t=
o prove to himself the wrong he felt. What did she hide in her heart? Where=
did it go? Even Frank had his churlish delicacies; he never reminded her o=
f how much she had once loved him. For that Marie was grateful to him. Whil=
e Marie was chattering to the French boys, Amedee called Emil to the back o=
f the room and whispered to him that they were going to play a joke on the =
girls. At eleven o'clock, Amedee was to go up to the switchboard in the ves=
tibule and turn off the electric lights, and every boy would have a chance =
to kiss his sweetheart before Father Duchesne could find his way up the sta=
irs to turn the current on again. The only difficulty was the candle in Mar=
ie's tent; perhaps, as Emil had no sweetheart, he would oblige the boys by =
blowing out the candle. Emil said he would undertake to do that. At five mi=
nutes to eleven he sauntered up to Marie's booth, and the French boys dispe=
rsed to find their girls. He leaned over the card-table and gave himself up=
to looking at her. "Do you think you could tell my fortune?" he =
murmured. It was the first word he had had alone with her for almost a year=
"My luck hasn't changed any. It's just the same." Marie had oft=
en wondered whether there was anyone else who could look his thoughts to yo=
u as Emil could. To-night, when she met his steady, powerful eyes, it was i=
mpossible not to feel the sweetness of the dream he was dreaming; it reache=
d her before she could shut it out, and hid itself in her heart. She began =
to shuffle her cards furiously. "I'm angry with you, Emil," she b=
roke out with petulance. "Why did you give them that lovely blue stone=
to sell? You might have known Frank wouldn't buy it for me, and I wanted i=
t awfully!" Emil laughed shortly. "People who want such little th=
ings surely ought to have them," he said dryly. He thrust his hand int=
o the pocket of his velvet trousers and brought out a handful of uncut turq=
uoises, as big as marbles. Leaning over the table he dropped them into her =
lap. "There, will those do? Be careful, don't let any one see them. No=
w, I suppose you want me to go away and let you play with them?" Marie=
was gazing in rapture at the soft blue color of the stones. "Oh, Emil=
! Is everything down there beautiful like these? How could you ever come aw=
ay?" At that instant Amedee laid hands on the switchboard. There was a=
shiver and a giggle, and every one looked toward the red blur that Marie's=
candle made in the dark. Immediately that, too, was gone. Little shrieks a=
nd currents of soft laughter ran up and down the dark hall. Marie started u=
p,--directly into Emil's arms. In the same instant she felt his lips. The v=
eil that had hung uncertainly between them for so long was dissolved. Befor=
e she knew what she was doing, she had committed herself to that kiss that =
was at once a boy's and a man's, as timid as it was tender; so like Emil an=
d so unlike any one else in the world. Not until it was over did she realiz=
e what it meant. And Emil, who had so often imagined the shock of this firs=
t kiss, was surprised at its gentleness and naturalness. It was like a sigh=
which they had breathed together; almost sorrowful, as if each were afraid=
of wakening something in the other. When the lights came on again, everybo=
dy was laughing and shouting, and all the French girls were rosy and shinin=
g with mirth. Only Marie, in her little tent of shawls, was pale and quiet.=
Under her yellow turban the red coral pendants swung against white cheeks.=
Frank was still staring at her, but he seemed to see nothing. Years ago, h=
e himself had had the power to take the blood from her cheeks like that. Pe=
rhaps he did not remember--perhaps he had never noticed! Emil was already a=
t the other end of the hall, walking about with the shoulder-motion he had =
acquired among the Mexicans, studying the floor with his intent, deep-set e=
yes. Marie began to take down and fold her shawls. She did not glance up ag=
ain. The young people drifted to the other end of the hall where the guitar=
was sounding. In a moment she heard Emil and Raoul singing</p>=20
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