[87873] in Discussion of MIT-community interests
How Trump Earned His Fortune.
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Thu Sep 1 05:42:11 2016
Date: Thu, 1 Sep 2016 07:30:57 -0400
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<p>How Trump Earned His Fortune.<br /> The landlord ' ad just that momen=
t come in, and Peter walked up and ordered a pint, and took his ten-pence c=
hange as bold as brass. Arter that Joe Barbcomb bought five more ha' pennie=
s afore you could wink a' most, and every man wot sold one went up to the b=
ar and ' ad a pint and got tenpence change, and drank Joe Barlcomb' s healt=
h. " There seems to be a lot o' money knocking about to-night," s=
es the landlord, as Sam Martin, the last of ' em, was drinking ' is pint. S=
am Martin choked and put ' is pot down on the counter with a bang, and him =
and the other five was out o' that door and sailing up the road with their =
tenpences afore the landlord could get his breath. He stood to the bar scra=
tching his ' ead and staring, but he couldn' t understand it a bit till a m=
an wot was too late to sell his ha' penny up and told ' im all about it. Th=
e fuss ' e made was terrible. The shillings was in a little heap on a shelf=
at the back o' the bar, and he did all sorts o' things to ' em to prove th=
at they was bad, and threatened Joe Barlcomb with the police. At last, howe=
ver, ' e saw wot a fool he was making of himself, and arter nearly breaking=
his teeth ' e dropped them into a drawer and stirred ' em up with the othe=
rs. Joe Barlcomb went round the next night to see Mrs. Prince, and she aske=
d ' im a lot o' questions about the men as ' ad sold ' im the ha' pennies. =
" The fust part ' as been done very well," she ses, nodding her '=
ead at ' im; " if you do the second part as well, you' ll soon know w=
ho your enemy is." " Nothing' ll bring the pig back," ses Jo=
e. " There' s worse misfortunes than that, as I' ve told you," se=
s Mrs. Prince, sharply. " Now, listen to wot I' m going to say to you.=
When the clock strikes twelve to-night----" " Our clock don' t s=
trike," ses Joe. " Then you must borrow one that does," ses =
Mrs. Prince, " and when it strikes twelve you must go round to each o'=
them six men and sell them a ha' penny for a shilling." Joe Barlcomb =
looked at ' er. " ' Ow?" he ses, short-like. " Same way as y=
ou sold ' em a shilling for a ha' -penny," ses Mrs. Prince; " it =
don' t matter whether they buy the ha' pennies or not. All you' ve got to d=
o is to go and ask ' em, and the man as makes the most fuss is the man that=
' as put the trouble on you." " It seems a roundabout way o' goi=
ng to work," ses Joe. " _Wot!_" screams Mrs. Prince, jumping=
up and waving her arms about. " _Wot!_ Go your own way; I' ll have no=
thing more to do with you. And don' t blame me for anything that happens. I=
t' s a very bad thing to come to a witch for advice and then not to do as s=
he tells you. You ought to know that." " I' ll do it, ma' am,&quo=
t; ses Joe Barlcomb, trembling. " You' d better," ses Mrs. Prince=
; " and mind--not a word to anybody." Joe promised her agin, and =
' e went off and borrered a clock from Albert Price, and at twelve o' clock=
that night he jumped up out of bed and began to dress ' imself and pretend=
not to ' ear his wife when she asked ' im where he was going. It was a dar=
k, nasty sort o' night, blowing and raining, and, o' course, everybody ' ad=
gone to bed long since. The fust cottage Joe came to was Bill Jones' s, an=
d, knowing Bill' s temper, he stood for some time afore he could make up ' =
is mind to knock; but at last he up with ' is stick and banged away at the =
door. A minute arterward he ' eard the bedroom winder pushed open, and then=
Bill Jones popped his ' cad out and called to know wot was the matter and =
who it was. " It' s me--Joe Barlcomb," ses Joe, " and I want=
to speak to you very partikler." " Well, speak away," ses B=
ill. " You go into the back room," he ses, turning to his wife. &=
quot; Whaffor?" ses Mrs. Jones. " ' Cos I don' t know wot Joe is =
going to say," ses Bill. " You go in now, afore I make you."=
His wife went off grumbling, and then Bill told Joe Barlcomb to hurry up w=
ot he' d got to say as ' e ' adn' t got much on and the weather wasn' t as =
warm as it might be. " I sold you a shilling for a ha' penny last nigh=
t, Bill," ses Joe. " Do you want to sell any more?" ses Bill=
Jones, putting his ' and down to where ' is trouser pocket ought to be. &q=
uot; Not exactly that," ses Joe Barlcomb. " This time I want you =
to sell me a shilling for a ha' penny." Bill leaned out of the winder =
and stared down at Joe Barlcomb, and then he ses, in a choking voice, "=
; Is that wot you' ve come disturbing my sleep for at this time o' night?&q=
uot; he ses. " I must ' ave it, Bill," ses Joe. " Well, if y=
ou' ll wait a moment," ses Bill, trying to speak perlitely, " I' =
ll come down and give it to you." Joe didn' t like ' is tone of voice,=
but he waited, and all of a sudden Bill Jones came out o' that door like a=
gun going off and threw ' imself on Joe Barlcomb. Both of ' em was strong =
men, and by the time they' d finished they was so tired they could ' ardly =
stand. Then Bill Jones went back to bed, and Joe Barlcomb, arter sitting do=
wn on the doorstep to rest ' imself, went off and knocked up Peter Lamb. Pe=
ter Lamb was a little man and no good as a fighter, but the things he said =
to Joe Barlcomb as he leaned out o' the winder and shook ' is fist at him w=
as ' arder to bear than blows. He screamed away at the top of ' is voice fo=
r ten minutes, and then ' e pulled the winder to with a bang and went back =
to bed. Joe Barlcomb was very tired, but he walked on to Jasper Potts' s ' =
ouse, trying ' ard as he walked to decide which o' the fust two ' ad made t=
he most fuss. Arter he ' ad left Jasper Potts ' e got more puzzled than eve=
r, Jasper being just as bad as the other two, and Joe leaving ' im at last =
in the middle of loading ' is gun. By the time he' d made ' is last call--a=
t Sam Martin' s--it was past three o' clock, and he could no more tell Mrs.=
Prince which ' ad made the most fuss than ' e could fly. There didn' t see=
m to be a pin to choose between ' em, and, ' arf worried out of ' is life, =
he went straight on to Mrs. Prince and knocked ' er up to tell ' er. She th=
ought the ' ouse was afire at fust, and came screaming out o' the front doo=
r in ' er bedgown, and when she found out who it was she was worse to deal =
with than the men ' ad been. She ' ad quieted down by the time Joe went rou=
nd to see ' er the next evening, and asked ' im to describe exactly wot the=
six men ' ad done and said. She sat listening quite quiet at fust, but art=
er a time she scared Joe by making a odd, croupy sort o' noise in ' er thro=
at, and at last she got up and walked into the back-place. She was there a =
long time making funny noises, and at last Joe walked toward the door on ti=
p-toe and peeped through the crack and saw ' er in a sort o' fit, sitting i=
n a chair with ' er arms folded acrost her bodice and rocking ' erself up a=
nd down and moaning. Joe stood as if ' e' d been frozen a' most, and then '=
e crept back to ' is seat and waited, and when she came into the room agin=
she said as the trouble ' ad all been caused by Bill Jones. She sat still =
for nearly ' arf an hour, thinking ' ard, and then she turned to Joe and se=
s: [Illustration: " She sat listening quite quiet at fust." ] &qu=
ot; Can you read?" she ses. " No," ses Joe, wondering wot wa=
s coming next. " That' s all right, then," she ses, " becaus=
e if you could I couldn' t do wot I' m going to do." " That shows=
the ' arm of eddication," ses Joe. " I never did believe in it.&=
quot; Mrs. Prince nodded, and then she went and got a bottle with something=
in it which looked to Joe like gin, and arter getting out ' er pen and ink=
and printing some words on a piece o' paper she stuck it on the bottle, an=
d sat looking at Joe and thinking. " Take this up to the Cauliflower,&=
quot; she ses, " make friends with Bill Jones, and give him as much be=
er as he' ll drink, and give ' im a little o' this gin in each mug. If he d=
rinks it the spell will be broken, and you' ll be luckier than you ' ave ev=
er been in your life afore. When ' e' s drunk some, and not before, leave t=
he bottle standing on the table." Joe Barlcomb thanked ' er, and with =
the bottle in ' is pocket went off to the Cauliflower, whistling. Bill Jone=
s was there, and Peter Lamb, and two or three more of ' em, and at fust the=
y said some pretty ' ard things to him about being woke up in the night. &q=
uot; Don' t bear malice, Bill," ses Joe Barlcomb; " ' ave a pint =
with me." He ordered two pints, and then sat down along-side o' Bill, =
and in five minutes they was like brothers. " ' Ave a drop o' gin in i=
t, Bill," he ses, taking the bottle out of ' is pocket. Bill thanked '=
im and had a drop, and then, thoughtful-like, he wanted Joe to ' ave some =
in his too, but Joe said no, he' d got a touch o' toothache, and it was bad=
for it. " I don' t mind ' aving a drop in my beer, Joe," ses Pet=
er Lamb. " Not to-night, mate," ses Joe; " it' s all for Bil=
l. I bought it on purpose for ' im." Bill shook ' ands with him, and w=
hen Joe called for another pint and put some more gin in it he said that ' =
e was the noblest-' arted man that ever lived. " You wasn' t saying so=
' arf an hour ago," ses Peter Lamb. " ' Cos I didn' t know ' im =
so well then," ses Bill Jones. " You soon change your mind, don' =
t you?" ses Peter. Bill didn' t answer ' im. He was leaning back on th=
e bench and staring at the bottle as if ' e couldn' t believe his eyesight.=
His face was all white and shining, and ' is hair as wet as if it ' ad jus=
t been dipped in a bucket o' water. " See a ghost, Bill?" ses Pet=
er, looking at ' im. Bill made a ' orrible noise in his throat, and kept on=
staring at the bottle till they thought ' e' d gone crazy. Then Jasper Pot=
ts bent his ' ead down and began to read out loud wot was on the bottle. &q=
uot; P-o-i-- POISON FOR BILL JONES," he ses, in a voice as if ' e coul=
dn' t believe it. You might ' ave heard a pin drop. Everybody turned and lo=
oked at Bill Jones, as he sat there trembling all over. Then those that cou=
ld read took up the bottle and read it out loud all over agin. " Pore =
Bill," ses Peter Lamb. " I ' ad a feeling come over me that somet=
hing was wrong." " You' re a murderer," ses Sam Martin, catc=
hing ' old of Joe Barlcomb. " You' ll be ' ung for this. Look at pore =
Bill, cut off in ' is prime." " Run for the doctor," ses som=
eone. Two of ' em ran off as ' ard as they could go, and then the landlord =
came round the bar and asked Bill to go and die outside, because ' e didn' =
t want to be brought into it. Jasper Potts told ' im to clear off, and then=
he bent down and asked Bill where the pain was. " I don' t think he' =
ll ' ave much pain," ses Peter Lamb, who always pretended to know a lo=
t more than other people. " It' ll soon be over, Bill." " We=
' ve all got to go some day," ses Sam Martin. " Better to die you=
ng than live to be a trouble to yourself," ses Bob Harris. To ' ear th=
em talk everybody seemed to think that Bill Jones was in luck; everybody bu=
t Bill Jones ' imself, that is. " I ain' t fit to die," he ses, s=
hivering. " You don' t know ' ow bad I' ve been." " Wot ' av=
e you done, Bill?" ses Peter Lamb, in a soft voice. " If it' ll e=
ase your feelings afore you go to make a clean breast of it, we' re all fri=
ends here." Bill groaned. " And it' s too late for you to be puni=
shed for anything," ses Peter, arter a moment. Bill Jones groaned agin=
, and then, shaking ' is ' ead, began to w' isper ' is wrong-doings. When t=
he doctor came in ' arf an hour arterward all the men was as quiet as mice,=
and pore Bill was still w' ispering as ' ard as he could w' isper. The doc=
tor pushed ' em out of the way in a moment, and then ' e bent over Bill and=
felt ' is pulse and looked at ' is tongue. Then he listened to his ' art, =
and in a puzzled way smelt at the bottle, which Jasper Potts was a-minding =
of, and wetted ' is finger and tasted it. [Illustration: " The doctor =
felt ' is pulse and looked at ' is tongue." ] " Somebody' s been =
making a fool of you and me too," he ses, in a angry voice. " It'=
s only gin, and very good gin at that. Get up and go home." It all ca=
me out next morning, and Joe Barlcomb was the laughing-stock of the place. =
Most people said that Mrs. Prince ' ad done quite right, and they ' oped th=
at it ud be a lesson to him, but nobody ever talked much of witchcraft in C=
laybury agin. One thing was that Bill Jones wouldn' t ' ave the word used i=
n ' is hearing. *** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BREAKING A SPELL **=
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