[87376] in Discussion of MIT-community interests
SWAT team carries this special tool. Now you can too!
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Kevin Cameron)
Wed Aug 24 14:32:15 2016
Date: Wed, 24 Aug 2016 14:18:15 -0400
From: "Kevin Cameron" <kevin-cameron@majoritis.com>
To: <mit-talk-mtg@charon.mit.edu>
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<p>SWAT team carries this special tool. Now you can too!</p>=20
<p>He kept his word. We heard his horn and instantly got up. It was dark=
and cold and wretched. As I fumbled around for the matches, knocking thing=
s down with my quaking hands, I wished the sun would rise in the middle of =
the day, when it was warm and bright and cheerful, and one wasn't sleepy. W=
e proceeded to dress by the gloom of a couple sickly candles, but we could =
hardly button anything, our hands shook so. I thought of how many happy peo=
ple there were in Europe, Asia, and America, and everywhere, who were sleep=
ing peacefully in their beds, and did not have to get up and see the Rigi s=
unrise--people who did not appreciate their advantage, as like as not, but =
would get up in the morning wanting more boons of Providence. While thinkin=
g these thoughts I yawned, in a rather ample way, and my upper teeth got hi=
tched on a nail over the door, and while I was mounting a chair to free mys=
elf, Harris drew the window-curtain, and said: "Oh, this is luck! We s=
han't have to go out at all --yonder are the mountains, in full view."=
That was glad news, indeed. It made us cheerful right away. One could see =
the grand Alpine masses dimly outlined against the black firmament, and one=
or two faint stars blinking through rifts in the night. Fully clothed, and=
wrapped in blankets, and huddled ourselves up, by the window, with lighted=
pipes, and fell into chat, while we waited in exceeding comfort to see how=
an Alpine sunrise was going to look by candlelight. By and by a delicate, =
spiritual sort of effulgence spread itself by imperceptible degrees over th=
e loftiest altitudes of the snowy wastes--but there the effort seemed to st=
op. I said, presently: "There is a hitch about this sunrise somewhere.=
It doesn't seem to go. What do you reckon is the matter with it?" &qu=
ot;I don't know. It appears to hang fire somewhere. I never saw a sunrise a=
ct like that before. Can it be that the hotel is playing anything on us?&qu=
ot; "Of course not. The hotel merely has a property interest in the su=
n, it has nothing to do with the management of it. It is a precarious kind =
of property, too; a succession of total eclipses would probably ruin this t=
avern. Now what can be the matter with this sunrise?" Harris jumped up=
and said: "I've got it! I know what's the matter with it! We've been =
looking at the place where the sun SET last night!" "It is perfec=
tly true! Why couldn't you have thought of that sooner? Now we've lost anot=
her one! And all through your blundering. It was exactly like you to light =
a pipe and sit down to wait for the sun to rise in the west." "It=
was exactly like me to find out the mistake, too. You never would have fou=
nd it out. I find out all the mistakes." "You make them all, too,=
else your most valuable faculty would be wasted on you. But don't stop to =
quarrel, now--maybe we are not too late yet." But we were. The sun was=
well up when we got to the exhibition-ground. On our way up we met the cro=
wd returning--men and women dressed in all sorts of queer costumes, and exh=
ibiting all degrees of cold and wretchedness in their gaits and countenance=
s. A dozen still remained on the ground when we reached there, huddled toge=
ther about the scaffold with their backs to the bitter wind. They had their=
red guide-books open at the diagram of the view, and were painfully pickin=
g out the several mountains and trying to impress their names and positions=
on their memories. It was one of the saddest sights I ever saw. Two sides =
of this place were guarded by railings, to keep people from being blown ove=
r the precipices. The view, looking sheer down into the broad valley, eastw=
ard, from this great elevation--almost a perpendicular mile--was very quain=
t and curious. Counties, towns, hilly ribs and ridges, wide stretches of gr=
een meadow, great forest tracts, winding streams, a dozen blue lakes, a blo=
ck of busy steamboats--we saw all this little world in unique circumstantia=
lity of detail--saw it just as the birds see it--and all reduced to the sma=
llest of scales and as sharply worked out and finished as a steel engraving=
The numerous toy villages, with tiny spires projecting out of them, were =
just as the children might have left them when done with play the day befor=
e; the forest tracts were diminished to cushions of moss; one or two big la=
kes were dwarfed to ponds, the smaller ones to puddles--though they did not=
look like puddles, but like blue teardrops which had fallen and lodged in =
slight depressions, conformable to their shapes, among the moss-beds and th=
e smooth levels of dainty green farm-land; the microscopic steamboats glide=
d along, as in a city reservoir, taking a mighty time to cover the distance=
between ports which seemed only a yard apart; and the isthmus which separa=
ted two lakes looked as if one might stretch out on it and lie with both el=
bows in the water, yet we knew invisible wagons were toiling across it and =
finding the distance a tedious one. This beautiful miniature world had exac=
tly the appearance of those "relief maps" which reproduce nature =
precisely, with the heights and depressions and other details graduated to =
a reduced scale, and with the rocks, trees, lakes, etc., colored after natu=
re. I believed we could walk down to Waeggis or Vitznau in a day, but I kne=
w we could go down by rail in about an hour, so I chose the latter method. =
I wanted to see what it was like, anyway. The train came along about the mi=
ddle of the afternoon, and an odd thing it was. The locomotive-boiler stood=
on end, and it and the whole locomotive were tilted sharply backward. Ther=
e were two passenger-cars, roofed, but wide open all around. These cars wer=
e not tilted back, but the seats were; this enables the passenger to sit le=
vel while going down a steep incline. There are three railway-tracks; the c=
entral one is cogged; the "lantern wheel" of the engine grips its=
way along these cogs, and pulls the train up the hill or retards its motio=
n on the down trip. About the same speed--three miles an hour--is maintaine=
d both ways. Whether going up or down, the locomotive is always at the lowe=
r end of the train. It pushes in the one case, braces back in the other. Th=
e passenger rides backward going up, and faces forward going down. We got f=
ront seats, and while the train moved along about fifty yards on level grou=
nd, I was not the least frightened; but now it started abruptly downstairs,=
and I caught my breath. And I, like my neighbors, unconsciously held back =
all I could, and threw my weight to the rear, but, of course, that did no p=
articular good. I had slidden down the balusters when I was a boy, and thou=
ght nothing of it, but to slide down the balusters in a railway-train is a =
thing to make one's flesh creep. Sometimes we had as much as ten yards of a=
lmost level ground, and this gave us a few full breaths in comfort; but str=
aightway we would turn a corner and see a long steep line of rails stretchi=
ng down below us, and the comfort was at an end. One expected to see the lo=
comotive pause, or slack up a little, and approach this plunge cautiously, =
but it did nothing of the kind; it went calmly on, and went it reached the =
jumping-off place it made a sudden bow, and went gliding smoothly downstair=
s, untroubled by the circumstances. It was wildly exhilarating to slide alo=
ng the edge of the precipices, after this grisly fashion, and look straight=
down upon that far-off valley which I was describing a while ago. There wa=
s no level ground at the Kaltbad station; the railbed was as steep as a roo=
f; I was curious to see how the stop was going to be managed. But it was ve=
ry simple; the train came sliding down, and when it reached the right spot =
it just stopped--that was all there was "to it"--stopped on the s=
teep incline, and when the exchange of passengers and baggage had been made=
, it moved off and went sliding down again. The train can be stopped anywhe=
re, at a moment's notice. There was one curious effect, which I need not ta=
ke the trouble to describe--because I can scissor a description of it out o=
f the railway company's advertising pamphlet, and save my ink: "On the=
whole tour, particularly at the Descent, we undergo an optical illusion wh=
ich often seems to be incredible. All the shrubs, fir trees, stables, house=
s, etc., seem to be bent in a slanting direction, as by an immense pressure=
of air. They are all standing awry, so much awry that the chalets and cott=
ages of the peasants seem to be tumbling down. It is the consequence of the=
steep inclination of the line. Those who are seated in the carriage do not=
observe that they are doing down a declivity of twenty to twenty-five degr=
ees (their seats being adapted to this course of proceeding and being bent =
down at their backs). They mistake their carriage and its horizontal lines =
for a proper measure of the normal plain, and therefore all the objects out=
side which really are in a horizontal position must show a disproportion of=
twenty to twenty-five degrees declivity, in regard to the mountain." =
By the time one reaches Kaltbad, he has acquired confidence in the railway,=
and he now ceases to try to ease the locomotive by holding back. Thencefor=
th he smokes his pipe in serenity, and gazes out upon the magnificent pictu=
re below and about him with unfettered enjoyment. There is nothing to inter=
rupt the view or the breeze; it is like inspecting the world on the wing. H=
owever--to be exact--there is one place where the serenity lapses for a whi=
le; this is while one is crossing the Schnurrtobel Bridge, a frail structur=
e which swings its gossamer frame down through the dizzy air, over a gorge,=
like a vagrant spider-strand. One has no difficulty in remembering his sin=
s while the train is creeping down this bridge; and he repents of them, too=
; though he sees, when he gets to Vitznau, that he need not have done it, t=
he bridge was perfectly safe. So ends the eventual trip which we made to th=
e Rigi-Kulm to see an Alpine sunrise. CHAPTER XXX [Harris Climbs Mountains =
for Me] An hour's sail brought us to Lucerne again. I judged it best to go =
to bed and rest several days, for I knew that the man who undertakes to mak=
e the tour of Europe on foot must take care of himself. Thinking over my pl=
ans, as mapped out, I perceived that they did not take in the Furka Pass, t=
he Rhone Glacier, the Finsteraarhorn, the Wetterhorn, etc. I immediately ex=
amined the guide-book to see if these were important, and found they were; =
in fact, a pedestrian tour of Europe could not be complete without them. Of=
course that decided me at once to see them, for I never allow myself to do=
things by halves, or in a slurring, slipshod way. I called in my agent and=
instructed him to go without delay and make a careful examination of these=
noted places, on foot, and bring me back a written report of the result, f=
or insertion in my book. I instructed him to go to Hospenthal as quickly as=
possible, and make his grand start from there; to extend his foot expediti=
on as far as the Giesbach fall, and return to me from thence by diligence o=
r mule. I told him to take the courier with him. He objected to the courier=
, and with some show of reason, since he was about to venture upon new and =
untried ground; but I thought he might as well learn how to take care of th=
e courier now as later, therefore I enforced my point. I said that the trou=
ble, delay, and inconvenience of traveling with a courier were balanced by =
the deep respect which a courier's presence commands, and I must insist tha=
t as much style be thrown into my journeys as possible. So the two assumed =
complete mountaineering costumes and departed. A week later they returned, =
pretty well used up, and my agent handed me the following Official Report O=
F A VISIT TO THE FURKA REGION. BY H. HARRIS, AGENT About seven o'clock in t=
he morning, with perfectly fine weather, we started from Hospenthal, and ar=
rived at the MAISON on the Furka in a little under QUATRE hours. The want o=
f variety in the scenery from Hospenthal made the KAHKAHPONEEKA wearisome; =
but let none be discouraged; no one can fail to be completely R'ECOMPENS'EE=
for his fatigue, when he sees, for the first time, the monarch of the Ober=
land, the tremendous Finsteraarhorn. A moment before all was dullness, but =
a PAS further has placed us on the summit of the Furka; and exactly in fron=
t of us, at a HOPOW of only fifteen miles, this magnificent mountain lifts =
its snow-wreathed precipices into the deep blue sky. The inferior mountains=
on each side of the pass form a sort of frame for the picture of their dre=
ad lord, and close in the view so completely that no other prominent featur=
e in the Oberland is visible from this BONG-A-BONG; nothing withdraws the a=
ttention from the solitary grandeur of the Finsteraarhorn and the dependent=
spurs which form the abutments of the central peak. With the addition of s=
ome others, who were also bound for the Grimsel, we formed a large XHVLOJ a=
s we descended the STEG which winds round the shoulder of a mountain toward=
the Rhone Glacier. We soon left the path and took to the ice; and after wa=
ndering amongst the crevices UN PEU, to admire the wonders of these deep bl=
ue caverns, and hear the rushing of waters through their subglacial channel=
s, we struck out a course toward L'AUTRE CO^T'E and crossed the glacier suc=
cessfully, a little above the cave from which the infant Rhone takes its fi=
rst bound from under the grand precipice of ice. Half a mile below this we =
began to climb the flowery side of the Meienwand. One of our party started =
before the rest, but the HITZE was so great, that we found IHM quite exhaus=
ted, and lying at full length in the shade of a large GESTEIN. We sat down =
with him for a time, for all felt the heat exceedingly in the climb up this=
very steep BOLWOGGOLY, and then we set out again together, and arrived at =
last near the Dead Man's Lake, at the foot of the Sidelhorn. This lonely sp=
ot, once used for an extempore burying-place, after a sanguinary BATTUE bet=
ween the French and Austrians, is the perfection of desolation; there is no=
thing in sight to mark the hand of man, except the line of weather-beaten w=
hitened posts, set up to indicate the direction of the pass in the OWDAWAKK=
of winter. Near this point the footpath joins the wider track, which conne=
cts the Grimsel with the head of the Rhone SCHNAWP; this has been carefully=
constructed, and leads with a tortuous course among and over LES PIERRES, =
down to the bank of the gloomy little SWOSH-SWOSH, which almost washes agai=
nst the walls of the Grimsel Hospice. We arrived a little before four o'clo=
ck at the end of our day's journey, hot enough to justify the step, taking =
by most of the PARTIE, of plunging into the crystal water of the snow-fed l=
ake. The next afternoon we started for a walk up the Unteraar glacier, with=
the intention of, at all events, getting as far as the HUETTE which is use=
d as a sleeping-place by most of those who cross the Strahleck Pass to Grin=
delwald. We got over the tedious collection of stones and DE'BRIS which cov=
ers the PIED of the GLETCHER, and had walked nearly three hours from the Gr=
imsel, when, just as we were thinking of crossing over to the right, to cli=
mb the cliffs at the foot of the hut, the clouds, which had for some time a=
ssumed a threatening appearance, suddenly dropped, and a huge mass of them,=
driving toward us from the Finsteraarhorn, poured down a deluge of HABOOLO=
NG and hail. Fortunately, we were not far from a very large glacier-table; =
it was a huge rock balanced on a pedestal of ice high enough to admit of ou=
r all creeping under it for GOWKARAK. A stream of PUCKITTYPUKK had furrowed=
a course for itself in the ice at its base, and we were obliged to stand w=
ith one FUSS on each side of this, and endeavor to keep ourselves CHAUD by =
cutting steps in the steep bank of the pedestal, so as to get a higher plac=
e for standing on, as the WASSER rose rapidly in its trench. A very cold BZ=
ZZZZZZZEEE accompanied the storm, and made our position far from pleasant; =
and presently came a flash of BLITZEN, apparently in the middle of our litt=
le party, with an instantaneous clap of YOKKY, sounding like a large gun fi=
red close to our ears; the effect was startling; but in a few seconds our a=
ttention was fixed by the roaring echoes of the thunder against the tremend=
ous mountains which completely surrounded us. This was followed by many mor=
e bursts, none of WELCHE, however, was so dangerously near; and after waiti=
ng a long DEMI-hour in our icy prison, we sallied out to talk through a HAB=
OOLONG which, though not so heavy as before, was quite enough to give us a =
thorough soaking before our arrival at the Hospice.</p>=20
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