[86098] in tlhIngan-Hol
Re: Translation of short poem.
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (David Trimboli)
Sun Jun 28 09:31:30 2009
Date: Sun, 28 Jun 2009 09:29:47 -0400
From: David Trimboli <david@trimboli.name>
In-reply-to: <f5b478ef0906272151h5317e8efy57c44f0114ec74f0@mail.gmail.com>
To: tlhingan-hol@kli.org
Errors-to: tlhingan-hol-bounce@kli.org
Reply-to: tlhingan-hol@kli.org
qa'vaj wrote:
> I'm working on translating two short poems, one is famous, the other less
> so. I've reached the endpoint of my own ideas for the first so here it is:
>
> weQwIj'e' er'InDaq megh'anDaq je meQtaH
> qaSpu'pa' ram lojba'
>
> 'a juppu'wI' petu' 'ej jaghpu'wI' peSaH
> wovtaHvIS qu' HoSna'
>
>
> original:
>
> My candle burns at both ends;
> It will not last the night;
> But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends-
> It gives a lovely light.
>
> -- Edna St. Vincent Millay
>
>
> I decided to not be too literal with 'lovely'.
>
If we play fast and loose with the grammar, we might be able to get both
rhyme AND meter (more or less):
meQ weQwIj 'er'In, megh'an;
qaSpu'DI' ram lojba';
'a jupwI' jaghwI' je, Hoch ngan—
wovtaHvIS qu' HoSna'.
or
weQwIj megh'an, 'erIn meQlu'
qaSpu'DI' ram lojba';
'a SuH jaghpu' 'ej SuH juppu'—
wovtaHvIS qu' HoSna'.
If you fiddle with it some more, you might find other, better alternatives.
--
SuStel
tlhIngan Hol MUSH
http://trimboli.name/mush
