[7] in Dilbert Redistribution
[listproc@internex.net: GET DILBERT_LIST NEWSLETTER_2.0 (1/1)]
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Alicia L Allen)
Sun Jun 11 16:32:30 1995
Date: Sun, 11 Jun 95 16:32:01 EDT
From: iggy@MIT.EDU (Alicia L Allen)
To: dilbert-redist@MIT.EDU
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Date: Mon, 3 Apr 1995 00:11:02 -0700
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Dilbert Newsletter 2.0
----------------------
To: Dogbert's New Ruling Class (DNRC)
From: Scott Adams
Date: 9/94
New Ruling Class
----------------
If you're getting this newsletter directly then you're already qualified to
be a member of Dogbert's new ruling class when he conquers the planet. If
you tried unsuccessfully to subscribe to the mailing list, read the
instructions at the end for some tips.
If you still can't figure out how to get on the list, you're probably a
"Family Circus" fan anyway and not destined to mingle with the new ruling
class except maybe as domestic help.
But hey, clean homes are important too.
Dilbert Screen Saver
--------------------
Many of you asked for it. Soon you'll be able to buy a Dilbert Screen Saver
(Windows or Mac), courtesy of the very cool people at Delrina.
You'll be able to while away the otherwise useless business day by watching a
variety of educational vignettes: Animated lawyers being beaten with large
mallets; the Secretary With a Crossbow; Ratbert abducted by a golden eagle;
Saint Dogbert driving out the demons of stupidity; Dogbert pummeling an MBA
with a rolled up budget report; Bob giving wedgies and lots more.
The Dilbert Screen Saver will be available for the holiday season at major
retail stores and mail order, but in the mean time if you have any questions,
feel free to call Delrina at 1-800-268-6082.
Censorship of Dilbert?
----------------------
Depending where you were, some of you saw a different Dilbert on August 1st.
We offered the newspapers an alternate strip in case they were uncomfortable
with my preferred version for that day.
The preferred strip featured Dogbert helping Dilbert's company select a new
high-tech name. Dogbert used a computer to randomly generate words from
astronomy and electronics, finally coming up with the name "Uranus Hertz."
Some people cried "censorship" when they noticed that a few newspapers ran
the alternate. But this wasn't a case of censorship.
It's only censorship if the suppression is for moral reasons. In this case
some newspaper editors thought the substitute cartoon was better for their
readers. That's just editing, not censorship, and it's okay with me.
Dilbert's Necktie
-----------------
Okay, okay. What's the deal with Dilbert's necktie?
As most of you know, in the first Dilbert Newsletter I said when Dilbert's
perky tie went limp it would be a sign that Dilbert got lucky. On August 9th
the tie headed South.
But there were some ambiguities: Liz said she wouldn't get physical before
marriage; then Dilbert attributed his relaxed condition to becoming a
Unitarian. Many readers were confused.
Some of the theories I got by e-mail included:
- Maybe Liz is married.
- Maybe Liz changed her mind and took Dilbert's innocence.
- Maybe Dilbert replaced his lust with religion.
- Maybe "Unitarian" is a pun and the sex was...uh...alone.
- Maybe Liz is a lying, hypocritical little tramp.
- Maybe sex with Liz was like a religious experience.
So What Really Happened?
------------------------
Well, it's like UFOs. (Stay with me on this.)
If you believe what you read, the sky is thick with aliens who are designing
pyramids, disemboweling livestock, impregnating rural people and generally
having a good time at our expense.
But we also read that thousands of people celebrate holidays by firing guns
in the air. From a statistical standpoint, you'd expect many aliens would
get caught in the hail of bullets and we'd find their tiny green bodies
slumped all over the place. But I've never found one. And I've looked.
Logically then, guns must not exist.
Of course, some conspiracy theorists believe that the government swoops in
and creates elaborate cover stories whenever an alien lands in somebody's
shrubbery. This line of thinking depends on the notion that the government
is highly efficient. (I don't know how the conspiracy theorists exchange
ideas, but I'm guessing it's not through the mail.)
But What About Liz?
-------------------
So that brings us directly to the question of Liz and Dilbert.
Over the summer I've received lots of suggestions about whether Dilbert
should lose his innocence or Liz should be hit by a meteor. Opinions were
divided, but the most persuasive letters basically said:
"Neither option is creative enough."
OUCH!!
But I'd already written myself into a corner.
So I did the only thing you can do when you're trapped in a corner: I chewed
my way through the wall. I broke the unwritten cartoon rules. I shifted
responsibility for defining reality...to you.
My solution was to write the comic equivalent of a traffic accident. All the
witnesses see the same event but perceive it differently. Reality is, after
all, subjective. How you interpreted the August 9th strip says a lot about
you.
About 18 out of every 20 people saw the limp tie and perceived that Dilbert
lost his innocence. They believed that when Liz said "no" she didn't mean it
or she changed her mind. Maybe some readers trusted me as the authority
figure in this case, and I clearly implied the tie was the sign. Or maybe
they just wanted Dilbert to get lucky. The people in this group buy lottery
tickets and expect to win.
A few of you questioned all of the assumptions. You considered the
possibility that the tie could be down for some other reason. That, coupled
with the pun-like word "Unitarian" led you to believe Dilbert took matters
into his own hands. This group took Liz at her word and assumed the author
was trying to pull a fast one (so to speak). This group is composed of
lonely people who are often misdiagnosed as professional tennis players.
(Think about it.)
A small minority of readers distrusted Liz, assuming she must be married but
not to Dilbert. The people in this group voted for Perot and occasionally
find bullet-riddled aliens slumped in their shrubbery.
One Unitarian asked if he could reproduce the August 9th strip for a
recruiting brochure. He will go to heaven.
What Really Happened?
---------------------
It's a private matter between Dilbert and Liz.
The Future of Liz
-----------------
You won't see Liz for a few months because I had a bunch of cartoons in the
pipeline before I knew her fate. But she'll return because of popular
demand.
Liz is an engineer too, for a different company. She's an expert on
composite materials. If there are any materials engineers out there, send me
an e-mail with any good buzzwords you'd like to see included.
Dear Dogbert
------------
In this section, Dogbert will answer frequently asked questions which I'm too
polite to answer myself.
Dear Dogbert:
I noticed that the Dilbert cartoon is available on the Internet. Is it okay
if I copy and distribute it everywhere as long as I don't make any profit?
It seems like this would be good publicity for you.
Dear Moron:
It's apparent that you were raised in some god-forsaken Eastern Bloc
communist country. Let me explain some of the basic concepts of capitalism.
The best way to learn is by experience. I'd like you to go to your nearest
mall departments store and try your approach to get some free pants.
Don't let them intimidate you with their snooty attitudes. As you well know,
if you wear their pants it's excellent publicity for Macy's. In fact THEY
shoud pay YOU to take their pants. Remember, the only thing that really
matters is that you were considerate enough to ask. Besides, they have lots
of pants and you only have a few pairs.
If this approach does not yield satisfactory results, just grab a pair off
the rack and run for the exit. If you hear a loud alarm as you pass through
the exit it means you have won a prize hog from the store. If you do not see
the hog immediately, make loud hog calls until the prize committee surrounds
you (they have maroon uniforms -- can't miss 'em).
As far as the Dilbert strips go, they are copyrighted. That means you can't
copy them without permission from United Media (which generally means sending
them money -- call 800-221-4816).
But you seem like such a nice guy that I'll ask them to send you special
written permission. If you don't get it in a few hours it must be lost at
the Post Office. So call the Surgeon General and complain. And don't accept
her lame excuses about jurisdiction.
Suggestions for the Strip
-------------------------
I continue to get great theme suggestions for the strip and use many of them.
I especially like stories of office politics, poorly conceived incentive
plans, clueless management techniques, new business fads, amazingly bad
bosses, strange idiosyncrasies and obnoxious corporate policies -- things
that evoke emotional responses.
The best fodder involves what people are thinking, not what they are saying.
So please don't send dialog suggestions.
You can send suggestions by e-mail to scottadams@aol.com or by snail mail to
Scott Adams, c/o United Media, 200 Park Ave., New York, NY 10166.
Next Newsletter
---------------
In the next newsletter I'll defend myself from the cruel accusation that my
e-mail address defines me as a newbie. And I'll tell you how to jockey for
status in Dogbert's new ruling class. (The job of "Minister of Gadgets" has
already been awarded.)
My Support Staff
----------------
I still handle all of my e-mail personally, although I recently taught my cat
Sarah to fire up a Flash Session to retrieve my mail from America Online.
(But she has to use "QUICKEYS" so it's hardly noteworthy.)
Other than that, it's still just me and the dust mites. And judging from
their actions, they haven't bought into my mission statement.
***************** General Dilbert Facts *******************
The cartoon strip Dilbert began in 1989. It now appears in 250 papers in 9
countries. The author (that would be me) receives about 50 e-mail messages
per day.
Copying, Reprinting, Licensing of Dilbert
-----------------------------------------
The copyright and trademark for Dilbert are owned by United Media in New
York. You can call them at 800-221-4816. There would be a fee that depends
on how you want to use the strip or the characters.
Dilbert Books
-------------
"Build a Better Life by Stealing Office Supplies" (new material about working
at a big company), Andrews & McMeel. (ISBN 0-8362-1757-8)
"Always Postpone Meetings with Time-Wasting Morons" (a compilation of the
first year), Andrews & McMeel.
(ISBN 0-8362-1758-6)
"Clues for the Clueless" from Andrews and McMeel. It's new material on the
subject of manners using the Dilbert cast. (ISBN 0-8362-1737-3)
A fourth book -- a compilation of the second year of Dilbert -- titled "Shave
the Whales" is just out in May 1994. It's from Andrews & McMeel.
(ISBN 0-8362-1740-3)
The fifth book is due in Spring of 1995.
Check with any bookstore. If that fails, call the publisher directly at
800-826-4216 and order by mail.
Dilbert Business Videos:
------------------------
Cohen/Gebler Associates has created a set of short animated Dilbert business
videos for meetings, workshops and presentations. The videos are based
closely on themes from the strip. They're used primarily as ice breakers.
Six titles are currently available:
- Dilbert on Quality
- Dilbert on Managing Change
- Dilbert Does Sales
- Dilbert Does Meetings
- Just the Breaks #1 (Mingling Groups)
- Just the Breaks #2 (110%).
Prices start at $99.
Call 1-800-208-3535 for more information
Dilbert Shirts and Mugs:
------------------------
- Sunday Comics Store at 800-243-8962.
T-Shirt: Dilbert and Dogbert floating in Cyberspace
Sweat Shirt: Dilbert and Dogbert floating in Cyberspace
- Signals Catalog at 800-663-9994
Mug: St. Dogbert drives out demons of stupidity
T-Shirt: St. Dogbert drives out demons of stupidity
Sweat Shirt: St. Dogbert drives out demons of stupidity
Dilbert Screen Savers
---------------------
The Dilbert Screen Saver (Windows or Mac) will be available for the holiday
season at major retail stores and mail order, but in the mean time if you
have any questions, feel free to call Delrina at 1-800-268-6082.
Online Dilbert Sources
----------------------
- America Online (older daily strips) (Keyword: Dilbert)
- ClariNews: 1-800-USE-NETS or info@clarinet for
subscription info. Daily current strips.
Note: None of the Sunday Dilberts are online anywhere yet.
About the Dilbert List
----------------------
It costs you nothing to be on the Dilbert Newsletter list, except for the
cost of your own e-mail.
I'm using a "List Server" system to automate this process. So this
newsletter will come to you from a different e-mail address than my personal
one.
The frequency of the Dilbert Newsletter is approximately "whenever I feel
like it", which should be about two or three times a year.
How to Subscribe Automatically
------------------------------
You can subscribe to the Dilbert List automatically by sending an
e-mail to the address listproc@internex.net with NOTHING in the
subject line and ONLY this message in the body of your e-mail:
subscribe Dilbert_List Joe Blow
(except put your real name instead of Joe Blow).
Your e-mail address will be picked up automatically, so you need not specify
it.
If the automatic method doesn't work for you, send me a note at
scottadams@aol.com and I'll put you on manually.
Unsubscribing
-------------
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unsubscribe Dilbert_List
Getting Old Newsletters
-----------------------
Send email to listproc@internex.net with ONLY the message:
get dilbert_list newsletter_1.0
Problems Signing Up for the Newsletter
--------------------------------------
If you tried unsuccessfully to subscribe to the newsletter just send e-mail
to me and I'll sign you up manually. My personal address is still
scottadams@aol.com
If you got a strange message saying you can't change your password, ignore
it. The password isn't useful in this application.
Reprinting This Newsletter
--------------------------
Feel free to copy, post and distribute this newsletter within the bounds of
good netiquette. But don't forward copies to Bill Amend because he's still
mad about getting six copies of the first newsletter.
Scott Adams
scottadams@aol.com
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